Hat wars and soup-er dates, let the sausage see the roll... The Online Dating Thread reaches 25!

[Yogagirl17]

Erm...hope nobody minds?

Watch, that does sound strange - but good that the flirty texts have gone down well! I wonder if he's nervous about something going wrong - eg being too nervous to 'perform'? I met someone like that last year (he could never get it up the first time he was with a new partner) and it was a real issue for him.

Having said that, pirate does sound lovely in other ways. And I'm much more of a shy, 'strokey strokey' type person myself, so someone like pirate would be ideal for me!

Bantam, I'm another one who's incredulous at the cost of your date. It was really interesting to read who you thought should pay on a first date. I always expect and offer to split the bill, and my offer has almost always been accepted. The reason I do it is because it seems to me that, in this day and age, there seems no reason why the man should always foot the bill. I'd feel so guilty. And I agree with the poster (sorry, can't remember who it was now) who said she didn't understand how someone can just sit there and act like it's nothing to do with them when the bill arrives.

Having said that, if the man was obviously keen to pay, and offered more than once, I'd let him. I always assumed he wouldn't really want to pay, but your post (Bantam) is making me reassess that.

Snape, still thinking about you.

Hello to everyone else.

i will be, dont worry time. im not one for putting my needs aside.

i think if you are not liking it, then dont bother. with all your new stuff going on i think something in rl will happen for you anyway :)

Found a lovely car, bit more than I wanted to pay but according to the ad only 13,000 miles on the clock. I'm sure that must be a mistake, but can't wait until 9am tomorrow to ring and find out.

urgh - mothers.

mum just called to see how last night was, and asked how things were giong and if i thought i liked him. so i told her, yes, but its early days in case i dump him for being crap in bed.
then
she said ' and more importantly, do you think he likes YOU'

i laughed and asked why on earth was it more important that he like me? why was that more of an issue than me liking him, and why wouldnt he like me?

honestly, sometimes people come out with such outdated crap.

( no wonder women have issues putting their needs first! if this is the sort of crap that is peddled by their own mothers)

fab time - just fab ;)

if I've given a man the green light and he's stalling I'd soon be putting up a permanent road block.

With the encouragement watch has given I'd expect him to be pedal to the metal..infact I'd be very worried about his seeming lack of horsepower!

at your mother. Mother does not know best in this instance!

It is fab Watch

My ex had decided he is "ill" and can't take Ellis.
What a surprise
Fortunately I was expecting this and told DP it might happen. So he's going to come round anyway and meet DD.
So ner to ex.

no, no she doesnt.

honestly, its exhasberating. truely. thing is, shes not even that old ( old just hit mid 50's) AND if shes peddling this kind of rubbish, no wonder people have self esteem issues and put others needs first all the time.

and there we have the explination on why its taken me to 33/34 to stop having these issues...

:)

madame0 - ha, good. fuck him, and hope the meet goes well.

mercury - indeed. i think its very clear its now or not at all. I did involuntary end up growling in frustration a few times last night. he did ask why i growled, because, well, you would, wouldnt you, and i did say it was frustration. he knows.
he needs to step up to it and screw me.
;)

euch. Cocktail hangovers. Horrible.

I should post the standard disclaimer that just because I see the whole splitting the bill issue that way, it doesn't mean all other men will. But I thought my POV might be helpful, and thanks for your feedback.

So one piece of good (?) news this morning - PoolGirl, who I was supposed to have a date with tomorrow night, has cancelled as she's met someone, presumably on Match, so I don't have the guilt of cancelling myself. Yay me!

Still wondering whether to go for second dates with both the Nurse and the Safrican - cheaper ones this time :) - Nurse isn't available for another couple of weeks due to childcare issues, Safrican lives miles away (and I made a really good impression last night so don't want to waste it) There was definitely more of a connection with Nurse, although there was chemistry with Safrican too, and I've learned from experience that a seeming connection after a first, or even second date, doesn't guarantee stability or longevity.

Ach, and then there's SurreyGirl, who lives bleeding miles away, it couldn't ever work, but she's funny and honest and gorgeous and put upon by the world but coping with a huge amount of dignity. But no, too far away.

It's good that you can let your mothers opinions go over your head Watch, that is testament to your own self esteem.

MadamO brilliant

Bantam if you go for second dates, leave the credit/debit card at home and only take a tenner!

Madame woo hoo to DP!

Watch Hope you have amazing, fabulous, headboard-breaking sex a wonderful time this afternoon.

Jam I would screw having a good work relationship and tell the guy with a partner he's a total knob. But then I don't have a lot of self-restraint.

Madame thats great :)

Watch I think you've been honest with him, balls in his court, he just needs to man up and do something about it

I have another date on Weds. Different bloke. Not sure I cba. He's got an annoying name (yes there is no end to my fussiness!) and I probably won't fancy him. But he is offering to take me on a pub crawl in the nearby village which would be fun. Well, it would be with someone I potentially fancied...

Ha, Sponge, I have that thing with names as well. I find it much easier to imagine myself being attracted to someone if they have a nice name! A pub crawl sounds like it might be fun, though - even if he turns out to be just good company rather than fanciable. Why do you think you won't fancy him?

He is bringing his kids. We are going swimming

Got a bit confused with the posts there, for a minute I thought sponge's date was bringing his kids on the pub crawl !

Madame that's very brave of you!

So what do we think of single man potential in Tesco on a Sunday evening? or do I just sound desperate now

He's a bit short, a bit 'average' looking - and I don't mean he's not attractive enough, he just looks a bit too nice and normal.

I know that probably sounds bad. But my usual type is men with v v short/shaved hair, manly builder types. He is not at all like that and works in IT.

I bet he has tiny hands too. Ugh, I am putting myself off more and more.

Let's hope he's good company...

sponge - reserve judgement until you meet, sometimes people can be surprising.
AND- remember that your usal type hasnt got you anywhere, other than being messed around... and how nice it was to have some intelectual stimulation from that young guy.
give him a chance...

;)

Sponge, I was going to say the same as Watch - that maybe it's time to have a change from your normal type. Does this man seem as if you'd be able to have a good conversation with him?

I know how it feels, though - sometimes I've really felt I cba to go on dates because I'm 99% sure I won't fancy them (although I usually end up going in the end).

Madame, that sounds great. Let us know how it goes!

Also, Watch, I was thinking that pirate could be outgoing in some ways and shy in others. Being on stage with my band was the best feeling in the world for me, but I'm very shy in lots of other ways.

Yoga, I've never tried Tesco on a Sunday evening - would you actually be brave enough to talk to someone if you liked the look of him?

Bantam, I'd be tempted to go for second dates with both if there's mutual interest. It's very hard to tell from a first date, and it's not as if you've made any promises to either of them that you won't see anyone else. I think the first few dates are just for seeing how you get on - and if anything develops, that's the time to stop seeing other people or at least have the chat about it.

Deleted fb messages. Deleted last few texts. Watched 'derren brown, apocalypse' where he attempts to make someone a bit useless experience empathy and display kindness & bravery. Laughed cynically.

Not so good today. The list of 10 things that are 'wrong' with him now stands at 14. The list of 10 reasons why I am too good for him stands at 4, so I'm still +10, which is something. I will not initiate contact & if he does actually grow a soul & contact me, I will let you know.

ok - we all know why hes rubbish - but what do you have on your list? because i can think of 1001 one things actually.
in fact, im sure we all can.

i wasnt sure on that derren thing you know, it wasnt as good as the guy they tricked into thinking he had murdered someone... it doesnt seem quite as clever, im expecting some kind of twist in the next installment.
you dont happen to watch the walking dead do you?

Snape - I bet we could come up with 20 reasons why you are to good for him! Shall we have a go, or does this work better if you do it yourself? Can't believe you deleted all his messages, your continued awesomeness amazes me. Derren Brown was a bit shit. I liked it better when he did clever stuff and pretended to read people's minds.

Libby - I'm really short - I can alway pretend I need something from a top shelf! I was going to go tomorrow anyway but might just force myself out tonight after I drop the kids off at their dads.

libby - quite true. but sexually shy isnt going to work for me. i like someone whos a bit more, um, assertive? dominering? experimental? less inhibited?

I once dated someone who was shy in the bedroom, it was awful. i tried really hard with him and tried to make it more exciting. When i turned up with handcuffs once ( hardly out there) he stammered and blustered like hugh grant being faced with andie mcdowell.... and then told me he didnt know what to do with them... and that just a cuddle was nicer. we were not matched.

i cant help who i am. its who i am :)
and they cant either, but if its so mis matched its never going to work.

I'm Kind.
Although i am incredibly stubborn, i made the effort (yes, alright prompted by the fb unfriending) to break silence to attempt to talk it through. I see that as adult.
I am, this emotional nonsense aside, far too smart for him
I am brave, which can be interpreted as 'stupid'
I think of others, but need to recognise that my needs are of equal importance.

That's five! :)

I should watch the walking dead, a nice new thing voldemort doesn't watch.

Will be watching '28 days later', later. A good zombie flick>richard Curtis.

watch Walking Dead is the best show in years. Zombies, sex, violence and that bloke out of Love Actually. Although he's not really my type, you know.