He's obsessed with sex...

[Littleblue]

We have been dating six months , and they have largely been the happiest ever for me , except for his obsession with sex.... he takes it as rejection if I turn him down , and mostly manages to get over it.... but I turned him down last night , I was tired and stressed and not in the mood , (and his expectation is a huge turn off anyway)We were snuggled up , and he kept groping me which I was fending off but gently , to me it should be clear by then?! so he turns my face to his and insists on proper tongue snogging , which I had been evading... I HATE snogging if i'm not in the mood for sex.. I'm not frigid , when were both in the right mood the sex is incredible....he seems to think that because thats the case , we should ALWAYS be at it... so pissed off ,he turned his back on me last night, he's clearly sulking today...

Littleblue, you are right it is a maze - I was in a similar situation to cannot with dc, yet it has worked out great after big efforts on both our parts to work together, we are happy but we are still working on it - Dp had counselling which really helped and opened his eyes too.

Yeah I know.... doesnt make it any easier tho :( thanks x

He certainly needs counselling... as do I , for different reasons...just soulsick tbh

Thanks littleblue. Things are never black and White are they? Abusers are never 100% shites and rarely walk around wearing a black cloak do they? I don't feel like they always abuse to intentionally hurt, but sometimes because they know no other way of doing things.

When you feel like you're wavering and thinking too much about the good sides of him, just remember how it would feel to have to put up with a forced snog every day for the rest of your natural days.

Yeuch, grammar, typos, sorry very tired!

I think thats why I feel as bad as I do... the shock of him suddenly behaving like that again really floored me... the sensation of WTF etc was so familiar from my years with severely abusive exe... told him so too , that I hadnt had my head messed up so badly by anybody since him... and yes , just the thought of a sudden rough breast squeeze is enough.... im brewing the menopause I think , they hurt like a bastard all the damn time...

Sokay , no red biros here... ;)

In a horrendous state , such a massive grief , and I know that seems mental given his behaviour... and I'm harping on too , but I'm just struggling ... trying to cheer myself up with a lighter thread over in chat , but I just want to curl up and die.... so fucking depressed its unreal.

Aww,, go easy on yourself. Have a duvet day and throw a pity party for yourself today. But only today. Tomorrow you start to pick yourself up. No man is worth making yourself ill for.

My daughter just appeared with a bottle of wine and a really gruesome dvd to take my mind off things.... shes an amazing young woman :)

Tomorrow I am going to go and get my hair cut properly for the first time in a long time.... fuck it , need a spoiling.

You certainly do

My dogs beside herself.. bless her ,so worried cos mummys a bit brokened... :(

Littleblue, just read the whole thread, I have no experience of what you and some of the other women have been through BUT you sound like an amazing, strong woman who will get through all the pain.

In the meantime take it easy and spoil yourself xx

Thank you.... what a lovely thing to say , feeling this grim , such kindness means alot xx

You will be fine. Better than fine. Look after yourself, have some wine and some nice nibbles. Maybe a bubble bath and some crap telly. You know you have done the right thing, stay strong.

Sat looking at nibbles , maybe tomos... I needed to lose weight , so hey ho , silver linings and all that..... this thread helps , I can scroll back and remind myself of all the horrible fucktard things he did...etc , its xfactor results night , and i have wine...... :) thanks all xxx

when i've felt so grief stricken, i have just taken it little by little. such tiny steps, such pain, but steps and each tiny one towards future calm. Just holding on to that little viable part of me that wants happiness within myself.

xx

Think ive lost sight of that piratecat , I have had a truly horrible year , and my relationship with him was in fact a light (generally) in alot of darkness.... but new opportunities have recently come my way , so I have to focus on that , and find my sense of self again... thats been a long time missing tbh

i understand, i truly do. Have had mostly shit yrs the last 7.

The times where i have felt i have lost sight of 'anything' viable outside myself or within myself have felt so pointless, so i know the depths. I can only say that doing what you are doing here, and really trying to focus on anything 'good' will eventually help you through.

I have to say I think you have been really brave, and taken a leap of faith, for yourself, very quickly seeing as you only started this thread wednesday. That's quite something you know. Hold on to that, as it shows strength, and i think it's really touching others too. xxx

I agree with PC

Thank you , that means alot... I dont feel very brave walled up bawling my stupid eyes out , it keeps coming over me in waves... fucking horrible , he's hurting too , even more so I think as he knows it's on his head and he's just broken irreparably what could have been the best relationship we had ever had... despite his initial protestations(excuses) of his innocence... he knows the problem lies with him , as I truly know I did my best and didn't deserve this.... I'm glad if what I am going thru is somehow mobilising for anyone else feeling the same sense of mindfuck etc... I hope you have a better next seven years piratecat :) I declared 2012 as a positive start , after rebuilding from DV etc... BIG mistake , I am going to raise a toast on New Years Eve to having a fucking shit year... lol (joke) xxx

Why don't you come to the MN Christmas meet up? Lots of us to give you real life support and a bloody good evening out?!

Keep reading back in this thread, keep reading! You are really strong IMO. You have definitely given me strength

I've never taken part in any MN real life stuff.. thank you , what a lovely thought :) and that's nice cannotseeaway!! I dont feel it , but I'll get there.... xoxox