He's obsessed with sex...

[Littleblue]

We have been dating six months , and they have largely been the happiest ever for me , except for his obsession with sex.... he takes it as rejection if I turn him down , and mostly manages to get over it.... but I turned him down last night , I was tired and stressed and not in the mood , (and his expectation is a huge turn off anyway)We were snuggled up , and he kept groping me which I was fending off but gently , to me it should be clear by then?! so he turns my face to his and insists on proper tongue snogging , which I had been evading... I HATE snogging if i'm not in the mood for sex.. I'm not frigid , when were both in the right mood the sex is incredible....he seems to think that because thats the case , we should ALWAYS be at it... so pissed off ,he turned his back on me last night, he's clearly sulking today...

It's scary reading isn't it? A real eyeopener

Unbelievable! , all those little things adding up to make the same picture as my exe , the exe he struggled with cos he'd "pissed up his lamp post" both on the same spectrum....how in hell didnt I see it...

My story is on that thread too x

You are well rid - start rejoicing OP - you don't need a cock like this in your life. Keep well and happy xx

I read as far as I could take... so many stories , so many battered lives/souls ... it makes me terrified to even contemplate trusting a man again... I always seem to pick the nutters I saw some of it Shaky , and I knew that you had every reason to empathise with me from your posts here xxx, and thank you... to everybody, this thread has kept me sane this last week...its been unbelievably hard , but I'm eating again now after a week of not being able to swallow past the gut hurt , I'd hoped we could be friends one day , he and I.... but no....not a chance.

Stay strong littleblue, keep posting, we are here for you.

You are doing amazingly well x

Thanks :) I do feel very fucked up by it , but also kinda cleansed if that makes sense... I said to him if someone resists being snogged and you force the issue , thats a massive frickin line in the sand crossed right there.... Im clearer now about what a fuck up I have allowed to happen to me emotionally than I have been in years.... my mother has just gone back to a man who fucked her around for years...shes another relationship addict..well fuck it , I am taking my dogs out to walk til we drop tomos , then I'm gutting my house , and moving on... alone :) (sorry for all the f- bombs in that post )

Go for it littleblue I'm dead proud of you!

F - bomb all you like, it's therapeutic.

We should never apologise for expressing our feelings

Susie thank you for linking the thread, I appreciate it. I would have done it myself if I could

Littleblue, sorry to hear you are hurting. I am thinking though that it is really positive that you have recognised that this relationship was nowhere good enough for you and you have got out of it. This time, it took 6 months, next time you will be that bit more aware of your needs and rights I'm sure and if you do get in with a wrong 'un, it will come even more quickly to you to walk away. While looking back at old skype convos sounds like it could bring you down, the fact that you are noticing from them now actually how massive the imbalance was towards his needs, makes it a really useful exercise - although, I'd say, limit it and try and distract yourself with happier stuff too :-)

To you and the other people posting here about partners doing things they don't want sexually, please believe that worthwhile partners listen and adapt their behaviours when asked not to do something. If you have told a partner that you don't like something and if they ignore and keep coming coming back to it, this is the only red flag you need to get out before it is too late.

It's really shocking that this man is a chiropractor LittleBlue, he of all people should understand about the body and physical boundaries so that leads me to think there really is very little chance that he would change and grow up and become mature about sex and interested in your needs other than physical. The thing with inviting his ex around while you were away sounds so cruel and immature. Overall, he sounds like he has got stuck somewhere around his late teens.

Thanks Shaky :) and yes it is Eurostar... he actually pinned me to his table when treating me once for one of his snogs , and really got his moneys worth too..it was horrible , I couldnt pull away at all...I should have punched him... He's made much of how his tables just the right height , wink wink...etc , and his longest relationship only lasted a year , they split after a few months of living together... and yes too on the arrested development...he's highly intelligent , but an overgrown child , definitely....I've made it abundantly clear no further communication welcome by blocking him on all platforms... I doubt I have heard the last of it however...

Everytime I wobble , a quick scroll here...and i'm renewed....

Coldest shock yet.... for me personally , out of curiosity searched threads in my old name.... and found this , almost 4 years old exactly

""He is 4 years younger than me,im livid,as he pesters for sex constantly in bed,wont stop rubbing and stroking,squeeeeezing and patting etc,when im grimly drinking tea,(and im filthy tempered in the mornings),we have been seeing each other for a year,so he should know better.and makes cute remarks about "taking my blouse off later" etc.
Im seeing a consultant at the end of the month,as i appear to be Peri menopausal,even though im not yet 40.My breasts hurt constantly,but he acts sulky if i wear a bra etc in bed.I had sex with him to shut him up the other night,but it was like chucking fuel on the fire,he now thinks if he persists,he can seduce me eventually,even though im flinchy,with my back to him.I just wanted some peace,hes a big bloke,and he sleeps with an arm and leg on me if he can,and kisses me,and "at" me,all the time.He txts me "I love you" several times a day,and phones..he is doing my nut.
He cheerfully said this morning,when talking about going out to dinner with a load of mates he hasnt seen for ages.That when it was pointed out he had lost weight,he said it was healthy eating and loads and loads of sex!angryIm disgusted by that. ''

THIS WAS ANOTHER EXE!! after the dv chap , went out with this one for 18 months.... holy fuck.... speechless

I'd forgotten how bad he was.... and the similarities are uncanny.... jesus

Jeesus fucking christ on a bike, I don't know how you're not in prison for murder - I'd have cracked and swung for them both with an iron frying pan! :)

Have you thought about some therapy recently? I hate to sound all Nooo Yoik on you (though after 8 years here it's hard not to) but I bloody love therapy, it's helped me NO end.

Have you tried the Freedom Program?

First sensible thing I did once I'd recovered from the first bit of this particular example , was arrange to see a therapist....we are due to discuss the options , including cbt , next week.... I already am free mummytime... and I will remain so , my habit of collecting knobjockies is over.... I will return to this and the redflag thread as and when I need to.... I am genuinely amazed at how stupid I have been when it comes to men... I am done with it , in fricking spades!!

Congratulations! (Maybe print out that post and stick it somewhere to look at if you ever feel yourself weakening.)

I feel weak all the bloody time... but I'll get there , I'm just tired tbh.. thank you xx

Actually, I'm not surprised that this bloke is a chiropractor. OK, I have zero little tolerance for woo-therapies anyway, but a reasonable half of the practitioners of them are either cheerful money-hungry con-artists (who treat their patients with great kindness and courtesy in order to keep them healthy and spending), or well-meaning deluded twits. However, a percentage are nasty, nasty, predatory people. Chiropratoring (or whatever the correct part of the verb is) like 'massage' of any kind, is appealing to abusers, particularly the clammy-handed, whiny, touchy-feely kind (as opposed to the out and out violent kind).It's an excuse to touch women and push their boundaries.... and in bad woo-therapists it always seems to be a case of 'If you really want to be cured you need my magic wand.'

Anyone remember the Barefoot Doctor? He was one of these: busted for sex-pesting and disappeared.

He's incredibly professional actually... he has to be , and personally I don't agree with the term applied re woo therapies in this case , my gp has long been a supporter of chiropracty and osteopathy , such practitioners are specialists in their field... :) I know what you mean tho SGB , whatever was going on in his mind if he had attractive women on his table was one thing , but much of his client base here in wales is farmers and old ladies... lol

The insidiousness of his mindset is gradually becoming ever clearer... nastiness about my friends , bigotry , remarks about how I live my life and lastly a few comments about my parenting , very very subtle cos I'd have torn his fucking head off... but all masked with OTT concern about my depression problems... this man who is a relentless stoner and lives in chaos I feel really fucked up by it atm...

sounds like you're coming out of the fog, Little - all the more credit to you for getting away from this unpleasant titface.

Thank you , its gonna take me some time to recover , but I am now starting to talk to rl friends about what has happened... they are all saying the same thing... his loss :)