Don't know what to think.

[CherryPie3]

Last night my husband sat me down as he had something to tell me.

On Friday he went to his friends evening wedding reception. I was working at his mum's shop.
As he was leaving at 11:45pm a young girl that was attending someone else's wedding reception walked across the carpark explaining that she had no money and could he please take her into town to meet her friends. She was also on the phone to her friends explaining that she had no money.

Despite town being out of his way he took her as he didn't want to leave her stranded.

As he was driving she declared that he was gorgeous and placed her feet up on his dashboard. She then started using her fingers to pleasure herself and asked my dh to take her somewhere dark and private. Which he didn't, he explained he had to get back to the reception as he had left his friends there.

Upon arriving at town she asked him repeatedly to have sex with her, and was getting quite angry that he was refusing to. When she finally got out she punched my dh on the cheek and slammed the door.

My dh then went back to the wedding reception and didn't get home until 3am. He explained he was so late because his friends wanted taking home.

I was very calm while he was telling me as something similar happened to me twice before - not as disgusting but a 'friend' tried kissing me whilst I was dropping him off at home, he then sent me disgusting texts despite me telling him to take a run and jump! Another 'friend' tried to kiss me after a group night out.

I'm absolutely sickened by the whole thing and have been physically sick this morning because I had to drive his car on Saturday, completely oblivious that this woman had been sat in it pleasuring herself. I never ever want to set foot in that car again! She was sat where I normally would if dh was driving.

Now I'm thinking about it I have so many questions that don't make sense.

1. Why would she ask a stranger for help when she must have friends/family at the reception that could have helped her out?

2. Why did my husband go out of his way to help a stranger, knowing there must be other people she knows that would help her.

3. Why did he return to his friends afterwards instead of coming straight home.

4. Why didn't he explain he had a wife and 3 kids waiting for him at home instead of having to go back to his friends.

5. Why did he leave it until last night to tell me?

I am so confused and hurt and upset and angry and devastated.... I love my husband so much and I don't think he would ever, ever cheat on me but those questions are getting to me. I wish I could switch my brain off.
I'm very insecure at the best of times without this. I am a very wobbly size 24 lady and he says this girl was a slim girl with short blonde hair.

We have just recently celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary, he is 25, I am 27. Our children are 7, 6, 2yrs.

What should I be thinking? I'm sorry it's long.

So just to clarify, the CCTV was never checked? You misheard that part on the phone? That was the part I found hardest to believe because I KNOW they can't just access it like that. So it makes sense now.

And it's normal practice for police officers in your area to phone people who are not involved in a crime to just give them marital reassurance?

And finally - I'm disgusted that the police in your area don't take this kind of thing seriously.

It's good that you're satisfied by what you've been told and your mind is now at rest. Have a !

That's correct Sshhh
The CCTV was NEVER checked, I misheard.

I'm so sorry, I truly believed she said she HAD checked.

I am very surprised that it wasn't officially recorded too!!

I have come away with the officers name and direct dial which she said. She never gives to anybody.

I'm just relieved it's over.

Dys,

Are hats best with mayonnaise or ketchup?
There are many other hat eaters on this thread in need of your advice on this.

The CCTV is a detail. The real point is why are the majority on this thread so unwilling to believe a man telling a story of sexual assault?

OP, I am really pleased you are now satisfied. Please now stop picking Over it in your head and focus on supporting your husband. Never mind whether you need to talk about it more, consider his needs.

I suppose she came on the phone because the incident was being told 'off the record'.

I honestly have no other explanation

Larry - I know, and thanks! He needs my support now x

Oh and my final gripe with the police is this part :

I could tell instantly by her voice, plus she confirmed it when I started reeling off why I was there.

Looking at confidentiality here :

She should never have spoken to you on the phone about this matter anyway. She had no proof of who you were just your H's word for it. He was reporting a crime that they didn't take seriously and not only that, they started discussing what could have been evidence with you!

Plus, I don't think someone on the front desk should just start talking to you about this when again, she has no proof who you are , and no proof that you are in fact the same person she spoke to you yesterday. Your H went in there to report a crime and the police shouldn't be discussing any of this without your H's permission.

We weren't on the front desk, we were in a room.

The police aren't robots - sometimes they step outside of official duties and provide a bit of empathetic counselling to people obviously in distress.

Phew....what a saga! What a relief!

More of an office actually, lon and narrow with 3 desks.

Larry, many of us believed it UNTIL the 'minor' detail of the CCTV. It was that and the total inacccuracy that the police officer just flicked a switch on her computer to watch it and then started telling a complete stranger on the phone all about it that set off alarm bells.
Maybe OP could have considered that she'd misheard. Maybe one of us should have asked her. But I took her word for the conversation.

Wow. Your local police are very kind! Very happy for you.

larry i have a lot of hats and definitely not enough mayo or ketchup...

Larry, many of us believed it UNTIL the 'minor' detail of the CCTV. It was that and the total inacccuracy that the police officer just flicked a switch on her computer to watch it and then started telling a complete stranger on the phone all about it that set off alarm bells.

Shh - I believed that's what I'd heard, in sorry. It never crossed my mind that I could've misheard but considering how upset I was, it seems obvious now.

I'm*

Come on everyone Three CHEERS!!!

So happy for you. Now you can move onwards and upwards!! So happy for you both

Hurrah!! So happy for you OP. I believed your husband until the CCTV thing and I'm so glad now that's cleared up.

By the way Cherry - where do you live? I think I want to move there...The crime rate there must be so low for the police to be so kind and take so much time to help out when they won't even consider a crime has been committed!

(still v disgusted that they don't take this seriously).

oh thank fuck for that!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!

Cherry in your post about the phone call with the police employee, you said:

She checked the CCTV, it's still there, she, eventually, saw this woman slamming my dh's passenger door and storming off.

That's some mis-understanding. The word 'eventually' implied that the person on the phone was poring over CCTV footage.

I'm frankly sceptical that any real police officer would deal with an incident report so unprofessionally and so giving this account the benefit of the doubt, wonder whether she was a civilian (albeit) uniformed employee.

This still doesn't account for why your husband returned to the function for hours afterwards, mentioned the police when he did come home and then failed to tell you it all for 48 hours.

only one person knows what really happened that night - the dh.

the whole story still makes no sense - if this woman was attending a wedding reception then he should have told her to go seek help from her friends. it was 11.45 people would still have been at her reception.

the police had nothing to investigate (ie no charge against the h ) because nothing of this sort happened.

it still all sounds very odd.

but then op knows if h is someone always willing to do things for others, picking up strays, giving lifts to friends all the time. she knows if he is always a very generous person like that, would do anything for anyone. picks up strays etc. has a scary eperience but still puts his friends first because they need lift home from wedding reception..this must be the kind of gerous hearted person he is...

but he also needs lessons in life - he could put himself/his DC/his wife at risk if he stops and believes people like this, chancers....

oh well put it behind and move on.

Cherry, one question

What she actually said to me yesterday was if she was to check to the CCTV, she would have seen the woman slamming dh's car door.

But how would she know what she would have seen unless she had seen it?

Maybe from what Cherry's DH told her.

I was pleased for you until I read the line that dysfunctional has just highlighted. It doesn't make any sense to me? How could she even begin to know that unless she had seen it or your H had told her this?

Something really doesn't sit right with me about the whole thing still, just because he went to a police station doesn't mean he's told them the truth. Attack is the best form of defence and all.