Don't know what to think.

[CherryPie3]

Last night my husband sat me down as he had something to tell me.

On Friday he went to his friends evening wedding reception. I was working at his mum's shop.
As he was leaving at 11:45pm a young girl that was attending someone else's wedding reception walked across the carpark explaining that she had no money and could he please take her into town to meet her friends. She was also on the phone to her friends explaining that she had no money.

Despite town being out of his way he took her as he didn't want to leave her stranded.

As he was driving she declared that he was gorgeous and placed her feet up on his dashboard. She then started using her fingers to pleasure herself and asked my dh to take her somewhere dark and private. Which he didn't, he explained he had to get back to the reception as he had left his friends there.

Upon arriving at town she asked him repeatedly to have sex with her, and was getting quite angry that he was refusing to. When she finally got out she punched my dh on the cheek and slammed the door.

My dh then went back to the wedding reception and didn't get home until 3am. He explained he was so late because his friends wanted taking home.

I was very calm while he was telling me as something similar happened to me twice before - not as disgusting but a 'friend' tried kissing me whilst I was dropping him off at home, he then sent me disgusting texts despite me telling him to take a run and jump! Another 'friend' tried to kiss me after a group night out.

I'm absolutely sickened by the whole thing and have been physically sick this morning because I had to drive his car on Saturday, completely oblivious that this woman had been sat in it pleasuring herself. I never ever want to set foot in that car again! She was sat where I normally would if dh was driving.

Now I'm thinking about it I have so many questions that don't make sense.

1. Why would she ask a stranger for help when she must have friends/family at the reception that could have helped her out?

2. Why did my husband go out of his way to help a stranger, knowing there must be other people she knows that would help her.

3. Why did he return to his friends afterwards instead of coming straight home.

4. Why didn't he explain he had a wife and 3 kids waiting for him at home instead of having to go back to his friends.

5. Why did he leave it until last night to tell me?

I am so confused and hurt and upset and angry and devastated.... I love my husband so much and I don't think he would ever, ever cheat on me but those questions are getting to me. I wish I could switch my brain off.
I'm very insecure at the best of times without this. I am a very wobbly size 24 lady and he says this girl was a slim girl with short blonde hair.

We have just recently celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary, he is 25, I am 27. Our children are 7, 6, 2yrs.

What should I be thinking? I'm sorry it's long.

online!

Sending good vibes cherry :) Gather all the info you can while you're there.

Virtual hand hold. Hope the police are kind to you. So sorry this is happenin

Hope it goes ok. A list of questions to take in with you would be good (although I assume you are already there now) so that you don't forget to ask anything. CCTV viewing procedure, as Shh suggested would be a good one to ask.

I'm in town now. Sat in can wondering on earth I'm doing. Hating this.

I have cried the whole way here because I feel like I'm betraying my dh.

I've convinced myself that the police will think I'm wasting their time with my marital problems.

*car

Good luck Cherry. Have just read your whole thread. It's a very difficult situation. You can get around any privacy issues by asking for the WPC who was manning the desk at X time on X date. Then, if there's more than one, you can ask which of them spoke to you, when your husband was at the station. Hope that helps.

Cherry, he brought the police into it.

Stick to the bit which relates to you.

Tell them someone spoke to you on the phone and said they were a WPC, but you think they weren't, could you please check.

That's perfectly reasonable.

You are not betraying your DH.

He has betrayed you, by concocting these stories and putting you in this position.

Yes, I agree, a list could be a very good idea.

Why not write one quickly now - on your phone if you don't have a pen.

Oh crikey cherry! I was all for believing him at the beginning but tbh the police bit does sound dodgy

I too wish you all the best. Good luck

Cherry you poor thing - good luck whatvever you decide

Oh GOD I hope so much he is telling the truth. Good luck - stick with it and find out the TRUTH.

I feel so bad for you and I don't ven know you .

The police are there to help people. You need and deserve their help. Ask to speak to a female officer if you can.

Cherry - as others have said - you need to tell them you spoke to a police woman yesterday.

This means the ball is in their court. They'll be interested either way.

If you DID speak to a police woman than it is your business and they'll have to talk to you.

If you DIDNT speak to a real police woman - they'll be even more interested.

Get this sorted one way or tuther.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this Cherry, I hope you get some answers

Good luck cherry x

Cherry stay strong my love. You need to get to the bottom of this, if you do nothing you will always be wondering. Once you know the facts only then can you make a decision what to do.You are NOT betraying your DH., he has chosen to lie to you for what ever reason, I am keeping an open mind. You have received a lot of good advice here. Keep posting.

I'm almost at the station now. I'm dawdling because I need to get my head together.

I had forgotten it is directly opposite where dh and I got married :(

This is so hard.

I'm going to try and put a list together now. God I feel like such a shit.

Cherry dont feel bad. He has lied about something. I don't know what/why/the extent of the lies but I do know he's lied to you. He won't tell you the truth, but you have a right to know. Please don't feel bad.
Big un Mumsnetty hug from me

You're not a shit.

If he wasnt lying he doesn't even need to know you've been there today.

If he was lying - you wont be feeling sorry for him any more.

((hugs))

Thank you

I'm trying to remember things I need to ask. So far I've got:

1. Would you consider this particular incident worth reporting? Eg, would it be considered her word against his?

2. Would he be given a ref number?

3. Would you be able to see CCTV footage on your computer so quickly?

I'm very reluctant to mention me speaking to an officer as I don't want to get anyone in trouble. However, this will be my last card to play.

I'm so nervous. I'm crying before I even get in there.

I wish I could take you all with me.

Cherry listen try and keep it casual, just go in and say "I had a call yesterday from someone and sorry I forgot their name but just wanted to ask a couple more questions" and take it from there.

Fingers crossed for you cherry. At least hopefully you'll be able to get to the bottom of this one way or another. We're all behind you today. Good luck. We will all be with you in spirit, and here for you after. Thinking of you now - you're doing the right thing here, you need to know one way or another.x