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Original poster

Sofas and Slankets V Irregular choice shoes and Snogging - Dating Thread 23

999 replies

watchoutforthatsnail · 28/09/2012 10:14

:)

OP posts:
AndLibbyMakesThree · 04/10/2012 22:14

Happy Birthday Yoga! Hope you had a wonderful day.

OhWesternWind · 04/10/2012 22:31

Shuckle not sure if FWB really works without the B!! You need a red hot stud type of a bloke for that kind of thing, I would imagine - if it's all about sex then theres no point if the sex isn't good. Think he needs to go and you find someone for some proper how's yer father.

ChaoticismyLife · 04/10/2012 23:05

Thanks Yoga and Shuckleberry :)

Yoga, maybe I missed it but have you heard anything about your interview?

MadameOvary · 04/10/2012 23:08

Moving - that doesn't sound great. It is utterly shite when you want to share enthusiasm with them and they aren't interested.
Plus use of the word "hun" is grounds for dumping imo Grin

Shuckle sounds like you want a non-exclusive relationship? Shame I can't hook you up with my PFWB. He sent a text yesterday, and then another today. Both unanswered.

Welllll, my date was lovely. I asked if we could go back to his, mainly because I needed to relax my back (not a euphemism!!) . Time flew and we're gonna see each other tomorrow evening. Smile

shuckleberryfinn · 04/10/2012 23:08

western I think you are right. Such a shame. I had such high hopes... the hug that started it off, one random move to left and I would have gone off like a rocket. arghhhh. What a waste. Thing is, the foreplay, the rampant wanking is fabulous. Mind he hasn't gone down on me yet.... the bastard.

Then again, I backslid with STBXH a couple of weeks ago purely because we did do the explosive sex so well. Obivously I need to walk away from both :(

Yogagirl17 · 04/10/2012 23:39

Thanks for all the birthday wishes - had a great day. (no, no word about interview from last week yet..)

MadameOvary · 04/10/2012 23:58

Yoga Happy belated birthday Blush
Fingers crossed for you.

Yogagirl17 · 05/10/2012 00:10

MadameO - date sounds good, fingers crossed for u too!

OhWesternWind · 05/10/2012 08:49

Miranda - hope all went well for the big meal!

Mme - sounds great!! Lovely news.

Shuckle - that's not good. I am getting a lot more B from the lovely optician who I'm not even shagging! Stay away from the ex, though, that will only complicate things . . .

Original poster
watchoutforthatsnail · 05/10/2012 09:11

madam - thats great, so, tell us more about him.

shuckle, never agood move, but im sure you know that.

Sponge - good luck with the boy today :)

moving - i dont know, it sounds like maybe hes not really interested, if he was he would call... or text more. I think maybe you have to put him to one side, think nothing more of it, then if something does happen it will be a plesant surprise.

Pirate texted me few times last night, am looking forward to seeing him sat. Puppy called and was really sad about not seeing me for a while, i told him he would be ok. i felt like his mother.......Also, i hadnt mentioned that he had taken to wearing a badge ( yes, an actual badge) of a writer, pinned to his leather jacket. it was embarassing. Absolutley right thing to do, even if i feel shockingly awful about it.

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 05/10/2012 09:44

Just the badge would be reason enough to chuck him. (Which writer btw)?

Yogagirl17 · 05/10/2012 09:50

Here's a funny thing I was thinking about. I got a birthday message on FB yesterday from a very old friend. It was really funny and made me laugh and I remembered how well we used to get on. If I'd met him through OD he would be a perfect-on-paper guy. And the chemistry would have been brilliant. Right up until the point we met and I realised I wasn't actually attracted to him at all. When you meet someone in RL I think the expectations are different. You can take time to let a friendship develop - when I was in school & uni I had tons of male friends. But with OD, I want everything to be just right or it's a total right off for me. Quite a few men I've met who I thought I could have a laugh or enjoy their company but because I could see the whole package wasn't there I couldn't really bothered with a second date, or in some cases even a first date! Anyway, enough rambling for one morning.

Watch I know it feels awful but if you were his first ever proper girlfriend it was never going to last, was it? Try and remember that we have pretty much all been in his shoes - we've all had to go through that thing of getting over our first love, our first real relationship, and hopefully grow up a little as a result. It's like a developmental milestone! Ok, yes, he will be crushed. But he'll also get over it - you know he will (whatever you do, do NOT fall into the trap of being his emotional crutch once you've done it!!!!). And then you will both be able to move on to better, more fulfilling relationships.

OhWesternWind · 05/10/2012 13:46

Yoga - that's interesting. I wonder if we (and OD men) are too quick to leap to conclusions about whether or not someone is "suitable"? Thinking about the partners I have had in the past, short- or long-term, none of them have really ticked all the boxes on first meeting. Some never did, some ticked other boxes that I hadn't really even thought about previously (but are now firmly on my list), and some took a while to get to know but ended up being just what I needed! And that's something I am really conscious of, that relationships and people grow on you. It's not realistic to expect to have it all on day 1 and as you get to know people and become more involved in each other's lives, things will inevitably change. It's the whole instant gratification thing that's so prevalent in UK society today - is OD the MacDonald's of relationships? Having said all that, there is no point continuing at all if someone is very obviously wrong for you in whatever way, but should we all give each other more of a chance?

AndLibbyMakesThree · 05/10/2012 14:26

Yoga and Western, interesting thoughts. I've been thinking along similar lines. When I was younger, the vast majority of my boyfriends were people I was friends with first. Sometimes the attraction wasn't immediate but grew over time. But with OD, there seems to be a need to make a decision very quickly - at least by about the second or third date, if not earlier. I agree that it's not realistic to expect everything to just click on the first date. But equally, there's only so many times you can meet up with someone, trying to work out if you're attracted to them, before things get awkward. It's a tricky one!

MadameOvary · 05/10/2012 14:29

Ok - here's the lowdown. We were chatting, and he seemed nice, slightly geeky. He is 50, and looked younger in his photo, but when he walked through the doors I was blown away by how young he looked. Very open and friendly face, a little nervous (which was sweet rather than off-putting)
We chatted easily and he wasn't put off by my tendency to babble on and digress, which was good.
I dunno, I felt relaxed with him pretty much immediately. He seemed to feel comfortable with me too, after the initial nerves. I have an acute radar now and his whole manner was of someone with nothing to hide. The two hours passed really quickly, so much so that I looked at my watch and said "Shit, I have to go" He drove me back and I had to get out quickly as my neighbours needed to get out so it was pure Cinderella.
I was quite giddy but then that often happens after a first date so I didn't pay much attention. We stayed in touch and spoke on the phone and texted, and arranged to meet again.
2nd date we were going to the same place but I asked if we could go back to his, just because my back was sore. I made sure he knew my intentions were honourable! Grin
His place is gorgeous and I felt at ease straight away. He had an amicable seperation from his wife who lives nearby with their two daughters, so he sees a lot of them and they spend a good bit of time there.

We had a good chat and I said that I wanted to take things slowly and he was fine with that. He feels the same way. He said "I'm not going to lunge at you" which made me grin. And when he said "Do you mind if I just go change out of my work clothes" i said "As long as you don't come back wearing a black silk kimono" which made him laugh.
Again time flew really fast and i booked a taxi as he was drinking - he contributed which was nice, (I accepted reluctantly as it was going to be ££'s) but had also offered to have a coffee and drive me.
I went home high as a kite and had a very animated convo with the taxi driver who was a divorcee and about to go on his first date in ten years Grin
So it's all good, so far. I'm seeing him tonight too.

janflan · 05/10/2012 15:42

Can i join you please.

I split up with my ex 2 months ago after 8years.

I was supposed to be going for lunch with a very fit young man today. This morning he told me he wouldn't know for definite until 11 if he could come because he had to be on standby for work. This is after he'd told me yesterday he had theday off.So i told him not to bother i wasn't getting all dressed up for him to pull out at the last minute. He's not very happy about it but tough!

hatesponge · 05/10/2012 15:48

Very quick update from me, will add more later. but 'the chat' has taken place, wasn't quite as expected. Considering whether or not he was too young for me was all a bit of a waste of time because it turns out he's about as interested in me as every other man I meet (ie not in the slightest).

Yogagirl17 · 05/10/2012 16:23

sponge he's not even a proper grown up yet, you'd tire of his "charms" pretty quickly anyway! Doesn't matter if he's not interested because he's not right for you anyway. Stay positive.

Madame - sounds like it's off to a pretty great start.

Western & Libby "Is OD the Macdonalds of relationships?" Ha, ha - maybe! Not ideal is it? I guess when you meet someone in RL it's because you have some common ground - work or kids or mutual friends. Situations where you can hang out and get to know each other without it being a "date". Had coffee today with a friend who's been divorced for about 7 years now is finally seeing someone who sounds lovely. It took her a while to warm to him but now things seem to be going brilliantly. We were also with another friend who's been divorced for years and now two years into a relationship she's really happy in. They both still live in their own places but all the kids have met so they often hang out together as a family either at his place or hers. She says it's perfect for her. So there is hope!

Hi Jan. Welcome.

OhWesternWind · 05/10/2012 16:35

Mme - brilliant! And another date tonight!! Really pleased for you and hope it all goes well again.

Sponge - you would have got very tired of him very very quickly (a la Watch's puppy).

Jan - welcome! I've seen your thread over on the other board. Glad you made it over here . . . You are starting off with the right attitude, don't take any shilly-shallying shit.

snapespeare · 05/10/2012 17:40

Just popping in quickly to wave, :) for good news Sad for rubbishness...

I'm doing my Saturday morning clean tonight, so I can spend tomorrow primping for the lesbian ball. Hopefully have some notepad goodness for you tomorrow, or later tonight. :)

MirandaWest · 05/10/2012 17:55

Meal last night went well :) everyone talked a lot. And my mum and dad seemed to like him :)

Need to find out exactly what Mr Nice thought of them later in as once DC have gone to XHs house he will be coming here for the weekend. Am very tired today (last night went on quite late and have been running and cycling today) so am hoping Mr Nice doesn't object to going to bed nice and early. Quite possibly to sleep Grin

hatesponge · 05/10/2012 19:28

It's the utter predictability of it all.

So fed up with stupid men who don't see me as being worth anything, and stupid boys who are clearly the same. I never jump to conclusions quickly about men, but they clearly all do about me Hmm

What with that and another helpful pep talk from a so called friend along lines of how I shouldn't be wasting my weekends sat at home, when I could be out meeting men (ha fucking ha), I am feeling more murderous than cheery at present...

Lueji · 05/10/2012 19:44

Sponge, you should get weekend activities, but for you, not to meet men.

Join classes, groups, charities, go out to museums, plays, films, whatever you like.
Find a challenge.

Something that will give you pleasure and if you interact with new people, who share your interests, you are likely to broaden your social circle and, yes, even find a man that fits with you. But that would be a bonus. One that would come to you, a happy woman, full of confidence in yourself.

snapespeare · 05/10/2012 19:46

sponge. He's a BOY. He has absolutely no idea. do not let this drag you down.

Lueji · 05/10/2012 19:48

And it was a drunken snog at an office party.

Please do not define your life by lack or presence of a man.