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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sofas and Slankets V Irregular choice shoes and Snogging - Dating Thread 23

999 replies

watchoutforthatsnail · 28/09/2012 10:14

:)

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KirstyWirsty · 04/10/2012 09:48

Joy I think I will wait until I move into my own place .. I'm living with my mum!! Luckily I kept putting off telling her I was going on the dirty weekend with Mr C as she would not have been impressed! (I'm 44 btw) Hmm

watchoutforthatsnail · 04/10/2012 09:53

there is literally nothing flakier than an online dater.
true fact :)

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Yogagirl17 · 04/10/2012 09:54

Morning all. Kirsty - sounds like bad, bad news, you are well shot of him.

Snape & Sponge keeping fingers crossed you both get good news. I'm still waiting to hear about dream job I interviewed for last week!

But not worrying about it today as it's my birthday. Friend taking me out for lunch and DD cooking dinner and homemade birthday cake and XH's birthday card went in the bin cause the fucker is stupid enough to think wishing me a happy birthday makes up for a year's worth of disgusting behaviour. So it's all good today and I am Smile.

KirstyWirsty · 04/10/2012 09:59

Happy birthday Yoga!! Wine

watchoutforthatsnail · 04/10/2012 10:12

happy birthday yoga, hope you have a smashing day :)

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ChaoticismyLife · 04/10/2012 10:16

Morning :)

Welcome to Mac and Joy.

Snape hope you get something sorted soon. Wrt your post of yesterday at 22:31 with what's happening plus the notebook then maybe this is destiny's way of making PM realise how much he loves you, and he does, and that he can't lose you so he'll declare his love, move in and everything will be okay.

PS, I have to admit that last bit, the strike out, did make me giggle...sorry.

Excellent replies from snape and MadameO there.

Kirsty sounds like you're well rid of him.

Worley hope you're feeling okay now, must have been a shock.

watch he really is a cheeky fucker

ChaoticismyLife · 04/10/2012 10:18

Happy Birthday Yoga :) Thanks

snapespeare · 04/10/2012 10:19

birthday yoga!! Wine Flowers [fuck-ton-of-cheese] [equally huge amount of chocolate] :)

meh, I'm doing my business case. have engineered great email from my new LM about what an asset I'm going to be to her team and blah blah.

PM away until friday. (his additional birthday present arrived yesterday, so I'm now having a smashing time teasing him about that. it's a stetson. 'because you're going to hate your made-gift, so this is compensation...' Wink actually cost me sod-all as from amazon with MN gift token for doing a survey thing , so cheers MN!) but being nice/supportive by text

prof back on saturday, itch to scratch, might try and see him next week.

right! back to busienss case!

Yogagirl17 · 04/10/2012 10:21

Thank you all. Smile

Watch puppy needs to go back to the home for more training!

OhWesternWind · 04/10/2012 10:52

Happy birthday Yoga - hope it's a great day for you.

Right, have managed to get babysitter sorted (it's my mum and have misled her a bit about what I'll be doing/who with - feel bad but don't want to say anything as it is still such early days and I would get the third degree for ever and ever about it if I told the truth) so am off on Date 4 tonight yippee!! Guess I didn't do anything too awful the other night then. (I texted him last night and said something like "Should we do it again soon?" and he was straight back with "Tomorrow?" he he).

Lueji · 04/10/2012 11:15

Happy birthday Yoga.

Puppy deserves the dog house. I'd be more and more inclined to dump him before the course. FGS, the cheek!

OhWesternWind · 04/10/2012 11:38

Watch - I agree about the puppy. That sort of behaviour's not on, sounds like he is a bit of a user. It would be okay if you were both going to the gigs, but to not invite you and then expect him to put you up is not on. Do it before the course, do it NOW!!!

Yogagirl17 · 04/10/2012 11:42

I agree watch - there's always going to be a reason to put it off. Just get it over with.

hatesponge · 04/10/2012 11:55

yoga happy birthday :)

watch what an arse he is! You know what you need to do...

Hoping to hear re job tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

watchoutforthatsnail · 04/10/2012 12:09

i know, its hard, i feel like a cow. I cant do it before his course, i just cant, but will when he gets back.

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MacAndCheese · 04/10/2012 12:43

Happy Birthday Yoga! Cake

watch just do it, it will only get more difficult the longer you leave it. Why can't you do it before his course?

Lueji · 04/10/2012 12:50

Or let him knock on your door after the gig and tell him to fuck off.
And get a fucking taxi

watchoutforthatsnail · 04/10/2012 12:54

because its an important course, he cant fail it else it would have bad consequences, last time i dumped him ( ive done so twice already) he was so upset he didnt eat for days. Obviously thats malniplutative tellingme that, but i cant have that on my head....

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snapespeare · 04/10/2012 13:13

it's not on your head though is it. you're not responsible for his feelings.

you're being a nice, empathic, lovely woman not that you get similar treatment from him and something will always come up to prevent you properly and irretrivably dumping him. If you are treating him with kindness, as you would wish to be treated, then you are being kind to be cruel, becasue the longer this goes the more attached he will be, he's slipping back into 'old ways' already...

I do see your point, but you need to set an absolute cut off now and stick to it.

JoylessFucker · 04/10/2012 13:15

Am trying to stay out of the "dump the puppy" stuff as am a newbie, but I have to say that your last comment would have my darling daughter saying: oh tell him to strap on a pair! Grin Sorry, its that whole the apple doesn't fall far from the tree thingy ... Good luck with it though, I know how shite I am when I feel guilty (bastard catholic upbringing)

watchoutforthatsnail · 04/10/2012 13:19

old ways have come straight back - what, its been about a month? as ive said to him only a few weeks ago, people dont change, or shouldnt have to, its not him, nor me, we just arent a good fit. I said that literally two weeks ago.
I also told him at the same time it all felt abit one sided from my side, he said he hadnt really thought anything of it at all, so i told him that was the issue, the fact that he hadnt even realised.

I shall do it when he comes back. I wont be able to speak to him while hes on the course, so, it will be no contact for a week too.

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Lueji · 04/10/2012 13:29

You don't actually know that he didn't eat for days...

watchoutforthatsnail · 04/10/2012 13:33

i just feel mean. Im his first ' proper' girlfriend. Essentially i see why!!
so he does this whole ' i dont know what im doing really' thing, when i bring anything up.

So he either has no idea of how to behave in a relationship
or
is just a selfish arse

I dont care which it is really, hes not for me, and ive known this for months...
Its just quite hard to do something when you know someone is besotted. Plus, i now feel even worse over the birthday thing. Id like to dump him now and am trying to think up reasons to get out of frday as i dont want to see him. BUT, then i feel like some kind of gold digger or something as i accepted a birthday present.

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snapespeare · 04/10/2012 13:42

I dumped someone the day after i got a christmas present. it was still a relief.

watchoutforthatsnail · 04/10/2012 13:42

no, i dont know that at all, do i.

I think he pretends to be nice but uses people actually. Apart from the not paying me for his supermarket stuff, hes also back to eating at mine for free. We had a whole conversation about it a month ago, i mentioned it again the other week, when he said he would come up would stop at macdonalds first and eat that at mine. I told him there was no need for that, and i dont mind him eating with me, but that if he could sometimes contribute then that would be good. He said of course, he had been thinking about that... do you think ive seen any money.... no.

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