Don't really know where to start, but here goes.
We have 2 dds, 8 and 2. A year and a half ago I got pg and as DD2 was really young, and we were were not ready financially, didn't have the room and loads of other reasons I had a termination. I found this really hard, it took me a long time to 'get over' it. But I accepted it, realised how lucky I was to have 2 DDs, we were moving on and happy.
Now despite religiously taking my pill I found out yesterday that I'm pg again. I can't believe this has happened. My partner is saying that I should have another termination. He said that if I went ahead with this pg that he would leave as he couldn't handle it. He only said this in anger and has since said that he didn't mean it but that having this baby would be the downfall of our relationship. He doesn't see how we would cope financially and the fact that it would mean having the baby in with us or 3 children sharing 1 room. We can't afford to move. We couldn't afford holidays and extra things for our DDs, like activitys etc. He thinks that we would struggle so much that the pressure on our relationship would be too much. He wants us to have a good life and he thinks this baby would put everything on hold. To say he is dead against it is an understatement.
But, although I can understand all his reasons, there's this feeling that I really want this baby. I love being pg, love birth and have always wanted 3 children. I think that it would be a struggle but surely worth it? I'm not getting any younger and this may be my last chance. I think about how I struggled with the last termination and don't know if I could cope with it again. I just have such a yearning for this baby. But I don't want to bring this child up with a father that will resent it, and I don't want my relationship to break up and end up alone with 3 kids. I don't want my existing children to suffer.
I don't know what to do.