Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Huffy, illiterate men, scared of peas, it's a weird, weird dating world (No22)

999 replies

ChaoticismyLife · 11/09/2012 15:10

Oh, watch...you mentioned flowers Grin

Tell us more...

OP posts:
OhWesternWind · 16/09/2012 00:07

Tess - so long as he knows where you're coming from (fnar) then its his decision as to whether to go ahead or not on your terms.

Date was nice but so not my type. And so of course he wants to see me again. And has just texted to say what a nice time he had. One day, please god, we'll both feel the same. Worried now about how to be heartless cow doing the brush off stuff.

KirstyWirsty · 16/09/2012 06:22

So man from work .. Shall call him Mr Cheeky .. has been texting .. Around 20 over the course of yesterday .. I remember someone saying too many texts could be a red flag?? Doesn't feel too much though and great fun :)

As I am new to all this stuff I thought best to check with the experts ..

watchoutforthatsnail · 16/09/2012 08:06

Western, that's so typical, isn't it.

Kirsty, I Think its subjective, there isn't a number. If It's constant texting, And maybe those texts are of the racing ahead, declaring feelings when you haveht met. Yep, that's weird. If they are chit chat, conversation ( or filth, should you be that way inclinedesld) then its ok. Filth prior to meeting is usually a big clue they are just after sex.

Ive moved onto texting with beard ( which he will now be known as) hes an English teacher, whos a singer in one band and lead guitar in the other. He sort of looks like Justin hawkings. He has big teeth. I appreciate hes now sounding quite odd ..... But hes hysterial to chat to, clearly clever, goes to the theatre off his own accord. AND, did I mention the bands.... :)
We have a coffee date on my birthday weekend :)

Scattylatte · 16/09/2012 08:55

Sponge. How was the film?

Watch: beard will be good, English teachers are cool. I bet you don't get hi Hun, wanna chat much! I don't think you will even get a cock pic.

Kirsty if you like it it's cool but if it ends up as all text no meeting or action, it's seriously tedious.

Tess, what was not so good about the date? Just curious

KirstyWirsty · 16/09/2012 09:00

Hi watch No declarations, no kisses on texts just 'hey how are things' and a bit of flirty banter. Have fancied him for aaaagges so all looking great however I am going to have to control myself as the way I feel I just want to jump his bones!!! Grin

Beard sounds promising. Did you finish with Mr L then? I must have missed that

KirstyWirsty · 16/09/2012 09:02

scatty he works in my company and we are going out a week on Tuesday (first time I am free)

KirstyWirsty · 16/09/2012 09:03

And he can spell Grin

Scattylatte · 16/09/2012 09:09

Kirsty. It all sounds like its going in the right direction. I've had a flood of messages on pof and I had to check to see if my profile had been set to IE. Maybe one or two are not King Edwards. It's frustrating that the ones who have the art of conversation are, in the majority potatoes.
So I've narrowed it down to 2. But as sponge will testify...it means nada

Scattylatte · 16/09/2012 09:13

Hold that....down to zero. Both have asked for a drink and both are saying they are now abroad for 2 weeks. In total that makes 5 men messaging me who are either going or are in another country!

snapespeare · 16/09/2012 09:14

madameO oh absolutely, very few people absolutely 'get' me. even less men. :) PM got me on the spot - thats so rare as to wonderful. as regards the bite-mark, yes - i think they're manky when on public display. As it is, only he and me (and us!) know about it, so it's a handy little reminder of an afternoon well spent.

I'm in a 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' frame of mind as regards PM and his mystery assignation yesterday. has he got back together with the ex? was it a booty call? Hmm Sad

Scattylatte · 16/09/2012 09:23

Snape, do you think PM was just being mysterious and is actually doing something quite ordinary?

Men definitely don't get me. Because I don't slip into their expectation of what they perceive I should be I get judged as being different. I like my own space and doing solitary things, being with nature etc. My ex couldn't handle this and assumed when I wasn't seeing him I was partying, seeing men etc. He was very insecure and I am very independent....so it didn't work for obvious reasons. I find people just don't take the time to find out about another human being...

snapespeare · 16/09/2012 10:23

no scatty i think he's up to something. Hmm he said it was a 'helping-a-friend' situation yeah, helping a friend have a multiple orgasm when i first asked what he was 'up to' he immediately said, 'it's not a date!!' i know its a bit intrusive, but it's absolutely driving me NUTS. Hmm

checked back through the threads that i so helpfully posted the other day - he was seeing the ex gf for around 3 months and while there may have been the occasional texts i didn't see him the whole time they were together because i reasoned when you love someone that much you have to give them the chance to be happy. except he wasn't... and i was utterly miserable.

so, seeing him monday and tuesday for the gym, he's away with new job weds - fri, so i'll see him on friday....no plans to see the prof, i'll be catching up with other friends wednesday/thursday nights. going to have a bit of a health kick fortnight prior to the charming of the lesbians...

MsArseBiscuit · 16/09/2012 11:00

I'd just like to say thank you to all of you on this thread - it's a public service and like having a group of online dating experts hold your hand as you navigate the weird world of Internet dating. I hope you don't mind me sticking my oar in.
I'm two weeks post-profile, one date with a man who claimed to have a Masters and who turned out to have educated himself via the medium of reading lots of bollocks on the Internet, which apparently he considers is the equivalent of a formal qualification - hmmmmmm. Now corresponding with a milkman who's getting a bit serious.

Scattylatte · 16/09/2012 11:05

Msa. They all say something along the lines of being professional, educated etc. and if that fails they show you a picture of their cock.

Snape, health kick sounds good. What will that entail?

MsArseBiscuit · 16/09/2012 11:22

No cock photos as yet Scatty, fortunately, and to be honest my job makes me pretty blasé about stranger's penises . He also told me that although he didn't drink, smoke or do drugs he had some ' interesting fetishes' at a guess, he likes having his scrotum grated or dressing up as a giant baby.

MsArseBiscuit · 16/09/2012 11:23

Actually should be 'strangers' penises' which makes it even worse.

Scattylatte · 16/09/2012 11:36

Lol. Stranger peni would be correct!! Yes the illusion of peculiar fetishes is having his scrotum grated.

So, I'm now talking to a man who paints. He seems normal. And another who infers we should take a roll the hay together. Slapping my head, rolling my eyes.

snapespeare · 16/09/2012 11:43

Five days dukan stage one, protein. Then slowly reintroduce green leafy veg. Gym at least three days, preferably 5. No alcohol (hahahaha! I see a slight glitch in my plan...) take supplements, 4 litres of water a day. Stop smoking (again...)

MsArseBiscuit · 16/09/2012 11:49

( not that you know me, so forgive the familiarity) but Snapes that sounds a bit extreme, and you have to snog PM, he loves you.

Yes, Scatty, I'm always unsure about the plural as penis, which is as it should be, I feel. I had a message today from someone who said that being in bed 'alone' was 'no fun' - it was very hard not to suggest he make the acquaintance of Farmer Palm and his five lovely daughters.

Scattylatte · 16/09/2012 11:56

Snape I couldn't do 4 litres of water, but I can do the rest although I'm addicted to carbs. I need to join the gym as my exercise consists of meandering.

Mrsa I too got a 'I'd love to be in bed with you'. Fuck off

MadameOvary · 16/09/2012 12:14

Have rewritten my MA profile to sound mega-snooty in hopes of repelling all the Neanderthals.
Honestly, when a raging 5'6 potato (I couldn't even see the photo properly and I could tell) rocks up saying he's looking for a "fit girl" and wants one "who can cook" and who describes himself as "Waste Management Consultant" I just want to bang my head off the laptop.

Anyway am messaging a geeky scientist now which is sweet relief after that!

Snape maybe you need to go a bit crazy, strategically so, to find out what PM is up to. That said, if you're good at playing the long game (I'm not) then fair play.

Kirsty isnt it lovely when they call spell and form a sentence Grin.

Scatty Can identify with eye-rolling/head-slapping mindset for sure.

Watch - ooh English teacher sounds good. I'm funny about teeth, projecting my own wonky bottom teeth I guess.

MsArseBiscuit · 16/09/2012 12:14

I wonder if they think it's the epitome of irresistable chat up lines - ' Corrr a strange fat bloke wants to shag me - whoops my knickers have just fallen off '

snapespeare · 16/09/2012 12:16

Hello msarse nah, I need it to be strict, otherwise I will just sit on my arse doing fuck-all and gradually get fat again.

Being in bed alone is terrific fun, you can sleep in a giant X shape and eat toast. :)

Yogagirl17 · 16/09/2012 12:34

I wonder what the collective for peni is then - a harem of peni? I'm feeling almost insulted that I have never yet received a cock pic! I'm obviously doing something wrong.

MadameO - I like that approach too!

Frenchman continues to charm. Not only can he spell and speak french, he can cook. No doubt when we meet in person he will smell like cheese or something but in the mean time a girl can hope. Smile

hatesponge · 16/09/2012 13:15

yoga If you really feel you're missing out you're not I've got several of the scaffolders if you want me to send them to you! but really its not that worth seeing tbh. Men send them to me all the time, I think I just give the impression of being up for it Hmm. The best one was ScaredofPeas who sent me one for the first time the morning AFTER our date. Weirdo!

I am currently nursing the hangover from hell. Was a good night last night, but was doing aloof unavailable ice queen so although I got lots of looks, I didn't have the hassle of conversation :)

My best - and oldest, known her since I was 5 - friend, who I was out with, has banned me from OD for the foreseeable, as she says scaffolder was clearly so much not my type in every way other than occupation, that my faculties must be impaired to have even agreed to go on a date with him. I suspect she is right.

Friend's film was rather good. Quite moral, but not too preachy, which was a relief! I'm not a believer, but I almost wished I was, as I was so struck by the sense of community & friendship among everyone there, seemed it would be a nice thing to be a part of. Except for the religion of course!