so for the last few months my rather antisocial hubby has started going out with a group of mates, im really happy about this as i think friendships outside the marraige are really important and healthy.
his best mate is a girl who is into the stuff he likes, wrestling, computer games ect. he goes out to watch films with her a lot and they socialise with others regualy, i have no issue with this, my best mate is a bloke (although he is gay) she has even kipped on our sofa when they went out so she didnt have to drive home. i have had no suspicions that anything other than friendship has occurred.
she is in a bad relationship, talks about it to him all the time, and seems to say lots of leading things like "my bf doesnt like my breasts, what do you think?" and that suggests to me she may be having thoughts towards him in a romantic way... i have told him that platonic friendships are great but its important not to give the wrong idea...
he assured me she didnt have thoughts like that.
i have become aware that his workmates have been gossiping about them, and that makes me uncomfortable, he assuered me it was one comment from someone really stupid and to take no notice.
well today he left his facebook open and thier messages were there, hundreds of messages, really really flirty.
he calls her sugar tits, says he needs to clear his mind of dirty thoughts of her, many messages of sexual teasing, nothing hardcore, all wink winky, things like, i'll let you dominate me, i'll lie there and take it, he replies i am dripping with antisipation (this is in reference to being beaten in the computer game, but its suggestive and sexual.)
he says, if we carry on going to see films together, people will be even more suspicious, more than normal" which means lots of people at thier work are already suss...
i text him and said, u left your fb open, and i read your msgs, sorry for invading your privacy but i am glad i did,
the level of flirting is unacceptable, and really dismissive of your wife. i feel humiliated after all the bending over backwards i did to accommadate your new mates.
i want this flirting to stop, i am not asking you to end your friendship, or cancel saturday (she is kipping on the sofa again) or to cancel the wrestling (they are going with 2 others to wales to watch the wrestling, him and her are sharing a twin room) i just want you to know the boundries and not overstep them.
he phoned and said nothing was going on, i said it doesnt matter if his penis stayed in his pants, the fact he has been texting her this means he has at least had an emotional or sextual affair. he said nothing had happened, and he was sorry for upsetting me, (sounding irritated now) i said i didnt need him to be sorry for upsetting me, that meant nothing to me, he needs to be sorry for doing it. he doesnt talk to me like that, so he needs to talk like that to someone else.
i said, if you want out of our marraige, tell me, i want to know, dont string me along, and drag it out, if you want out, just go. i wont stop you.
he said he loved being married to me and he loves our children, i said well that wouldnt change would it?
then i said i had to go and get kids ready for bed, and hung up.
was i overreacting?