Dh will not accept that I want to split up

[Pinkjenny]

i have tried to link to my previous thread but I can't seem to do it on this iPad. I told dh 3 weeks ago that I want to split up. I have told him over and over again. Basically he is following me around the house, sobbing about his kids and what he is going to lose etc etc, telling me i am destroying everyone's lives and threatening to kill himself. He keeps waking me to talk at 3am, waking me with wracking sobs etc. I have never seen this side of him before, I know it is a horrible situation and I honestly am not a bad person, but things have been terrible for so long and I just want to be happy.

Now he is saying that it is up to me to convince him why I don't love him, and explain what I want in a partner, and once he is sure he can't do that or be that, he will accept it.

I am emotionally drained and I can't go on like this. My solicitor has advised me not to leave the house, or that is what I would do.

Pink,do you still have the solicitors appointment today?

Ok. You have a bit of a written and date-stamped record (here and your previous thread) of verbal and physical harrassment. Would it be an idea to type out brief extracts/summary and show it to the solicitor, and suggest you want to arrange to nip off quietly to your parents with the DCs - when are you next seeing solicitor?

Basically, if you don't feel entirely safe then I can't imagine any solicitor is going to recommend you stay in the house. It could be just general jangled nerves, but then again it could not be.

Solicitor is off until Tuesday now.

Some men seem to delude themselves.

Ex still seemed convinced we would be back after I told him it was over, left the house with DS, got the police to be there when I wanted to collect my stuff and DS's, him signing off the rental agreement, me saying I wanted a divorce. And me asking court for full custody, and even at the first divorce hearing 8 months later.
Yes, it did turn to anger and violence when he was rejected.

Mad - yep, it's the fact that I cant determine if it's jangled nerves or not stopping me.

amillionyears, that is unnecessary and against the talk guidelines.

Have you talked it over with your parents af all? Or someone else close? Not as a final word necessarily just as perspective from someone who knows your and H's normal behaviour.

Is it Erik? Which bit please.

Er PinkJenny is a well known poster.

amillion - any implication that the poster is not genuine can be construed as troll-hunting, which is against talk guidelines.

You suggested Pinkjenny is trolling. That is unnecessary and against talk guidelines. Report and leave the thread if you have concerns, do not post on the thread. It's very out of order.

ok,had a look at the guidelines.You could be right.Sorry.

PinkJenny has posted in that name once before. I presume you know her Shiirley.

I will stop posting again now.

Yeah that's one hell of a fictional backstory you've created there .

I guess Million has just misread the line about "I'm going to speak to the solicitor tomorrow" as being "I have an appointment with the solicitor tomorrow". Hence latest post appears inconsistent. Still, her choice.

I don't think you know how to use the search function. I have just had a look and there are over 500 messages by pinkjenny. It's really hurtful to be disbelieved which is why you should always report and leave the thread. Especially here where you have no reason to be suspicious

Been on the school run. I have no idea why anyone would think I was trolling and have no idea what has been said. My solicitor doesn't live locally, I thought I said I was speaking to her tomorrow, not that I had an appointment.

Anyway, I have been here since 2006, and Tilly and Jam who have posted on this thread are real life friends of mine.

I am genuinely disgusted that anyone would suggest I was trolling.

Weird.

Anyway.

Mad - my parents are on holiday at the moment, they are back tomorrow. My relationship with my Mum is well documented on MN. She has been very inconsistent with her support regarding the situation with dh. There has never really been any love lost between them, but get primary concern will be for the dc and not for me. Sometimes she is all, 'yeah, leave the bastard!' and then the next day, 'it's just a nightmare.'

I have lots of friends who are supporting me though, and plenty of places to reach out. I just wish it didn't have to be so bloody hard.

If you want to escape sweets you can come here. Tis nice down sarf. Sun is going to shine all weekend.

He is being a total knob jockey, tell him to fuck off next time he comes in with his weirdy stroking of hair business.

I can come and live in your music room, Jam.

I suppose it's quite exciting being called a troll. Is this story really that exciting? I think not.

Love that you are a troll snort

Hmph at your mum. Glad you have other support. Maybe take the kids out a bit this weekend? Hysteria when you leave the house, I'm sure, but then a few hours peace.

Am going to be bright and breezy. And not show any weakness. Time to be strong.

You are welcome here as well lovely. Birmingham has lots to offer

When a man has demonstrated himself to be a bully and selfish it is not remotely unreasonable to be afraid of him; the most dangerous time in an abusive, controlling relationship like this one is when you are preparing to leave. This man is your enemy - he will always have seen the relationship as a contest that he has to win by grinding you down into nothing. So take any precautions necessary to ensure your safety and that of DC, which may well mean locks on doors and keeping your phone on you at all times until you have the court orders to remove him from the house. And if you do feel the only thing to do is grab DC and run then a court may still enforce an order which puts him out of the house and allows you and DC to live there free from him.