Honey traps leading to kinky fuckery and other dating adventures (No 21)

[KirstyWirsty]

I want to know what Nicholas's tip was ... and the last thread was full!

So, my date...

Went well. I am supposed to be seeing him again today.

BUT (theres always a but isnt there) when he left here last night he said he'd text me when he got home - he'd left his inhaler at home (asthma) so wasn't feeling great, and said he would text so I knew he was back ok.

and he didn't. And still nothing so far today. And yes I KNOW its only 8.30ish, but the old doubts are creeping in. Which is stupid considering he was talking about bringing a spare inhaler with him today to leave here, and other things he said which suggested this I would be seeing him again. But then I would have said he would definitely have text me, and he hasn't. So I really don't know :(

Sponge, did you like him? What was he like? Has he bad asthma?

Scatty, I really did like him, he's clever and funny, very entertaining. It was a lovely evening. He said his asthma is normally ok, but he always carries his inhaler and has to use it first thing every morning etc. He said not having it panics him (he didnt realise he didnt have it with him until late) and he did get v wheezyg/coughin before he left, so I was a bit worried. I really expected to wake up to a text from him, but nothing.

Dont worry sponge. You know the drill. Chin up and get busy...
Glad the date went well. You get loads of dates and that's good.
I keep wondering what is wrong with me. I don't give men a chance yet I expect them to give me a chance.
Man has been messaging me on pof. Seemed nice but then I was out off when he said his business has been through a quiet month. To me that seemed like an emotional dump so I didn't message any more.
Man with pink shirt and slip on shoes messaged me asking what I thought of the site. Do others get these (I get a lot)? I replied tnat it hasn't been a roaring success for me etc. he replied by saying 'just having a conversation'. This was after I had messaged about going to the Olympics yesterday. I went to to the Olympics!! and all he could ask me was my opinion of a dating site.
Man with load of kids messaged to say he had a bad accident and was now out of work.
I think I need to maybe be a bit more tolerant.
Also I ended up texting my self absorbed friend to say that being humble is essential to be a friend of mine. This was after he text to say he had gone out on a date and had been asked out whilst on that date, all said with an arrogant tone.
And man on a train with a huge bunch of flowers between his knees kept slapping me on my knee saying 'is this your station?'. FFS

Oh, that happened to me sponge, guy asked to do something the next day.... Evening progressed, no sex....
Next day I get up early and get ready, because we didht say Times and I wanted to be ready.
Do you Think I heard from him? Did I Fuvk.

Anyway, I do hope he is in contact. It's incredibly rude otherwise....

sponge didn't it freak you out when he said he would leave an inhaler at your house? That would make me feel like he was trying to move too quickly!! and then I would consider why he wanted to move so quickly? As in the end I suspect they all pretend they want a full blown relationship just so they can sleep with us! When actually someone moving at high speed puts me off big time!!!

Like mr intense. He wanted a full blow relationship, I told him he is too intense and wants to move too quickly, so he said no no i don't I want what you want and I slept with him once now he won't leave me alone and text me last night asking if I was horny

And that's not even mentioning fwb and him desperately wanting sex with me! And always implying he is in love with me! Just so he can sleep with me

scatty - I know how you feel, options right now are crap or crapper

watch - what an arse! So did you try to text him or just wait to see if he was going to text you?

He had my number, I wasn't going to make myself look desperate by calling after he had,asked if I wanted to do something and after he had said he would call me.

I know we/ I might sound pretty jaded to any newbies. Tbh, when I first started online dating I expected to have a few dates and to be in a relationship pretty quickly.
I had no clue about how unscrupulus people are, how dishonest and rude.

If any of us sound less than optomistic, It's usually because we have experienced the same thing 1000x over.

Ha Watch, I've been at this less than three months and I'm super-cynical already. I actually think intolerance is good. It's our instincts kicking in. I get a visceral response at a photo, and "something" puts me off. I think we are pretty good at reading non-verbal clues and don't give ourselves enough credit.
So don't feel bad. We're not there to prop these fuckers up, we're there to find a relationship that works for us. The needy and the nerdy can jog on!

Oh, I don't feel bad :)

I'm Just explaining to any new comers why those of US who have been at This a while, automatically Take the cynical view.

How's this for a message from one of "the needy"

"Hi, I'm a 45 year old widower and really missing some female company"

Deleted.

sponge - any word?

Sponge, he asked you about today, then he left. You have not done anything ' wrong' overnight while you have been asleep. It's impossible.

What is possible is hes a lying twat, who said those things to lead you on in hope you would have sex with him.

Absolutely nothing from him.

Half of me is massively disappointed. The other half not in the least surprised. Every time I think it will be different, and it never is - plus ca change, plus la meme chose.

And he was talking not only about seeing me today, but when we could meet again after that etc. But obviously all just talk, it seems.

Meh. Am deleting my profile now, that really is it for me.

I suppose its possible he MIGHT still be asleep . It was very late when he left.

Or else Watch you're right and he is a lying twat.

We have exchanged 900 odd texts since Wednesday. And the one day I want to hear from him...!

Sponge I want to hug you, and I want to kick him. Twat.

Still enjoying my email convo. He is very funny. And literate too. We are deliberately not texting as both know it could get insane. I knew he was alright though as in the initial shall-we-text convo he said "Promise I wont sent pics of my genitals"

Currently swapping dating disasters. Not a bad way to pass the time.

Tomorrow is Writer Boy. We shall see...

It is possible, but like you think its unlikely.
Almost exactly the same as happened to me :(
Because he's an arse

I know it gets to you, each Time you think it might be different and it never is.
Each Time you put effort in for nothing, put your self out there... And get no return.

I can promise you it isnt you.
Think of how much attention you got in rl last weekend....

Madame and Watch thanks.

It is unlikely, I know :( He left here at 4.30, should have been home by 5...I'd expect him to be up by now, I've been up since 8.30.

Bollocks to it all. I'd just like to hear from him - whether it's a polite no, or even if I get some bullshit like I did from Mr Imnotreadyforacommitment - or the other one who told me I was a player. Anything rather than silence. I'd just prefer to know it's a no, rather than be left hanging.

The excessive texting is a red flag. Points to an attention junkie with inappropriate boundaries - not you Sponge! When the texts disappear it's often a sign of someone who doesn't cope with the idea of the woman as a real person. Once reality intrudes and they can't project all their fantasies onto you, they lose interest.
Again. NOT you! x

Like snape with the catwesel.
Or me with numerous others....

I know the silence is crap. It really worse than hearing a no.

Meh, don't know what else to say. It realky is awful

He even gave me a pet name. I don't think I can bear to tell you what it was, but it's what I'm listed as in his phone (I saw it myself).

If he doesnt contact me he really is an utter twat.

Sponge - PM me his number and I'll call him and then say "Oops, sorry wrong number" then you'll know he's awake or you could just use 141 and do it yourself

Oh sponge what an arse. (hug-type-thing) lets go for a coffee next weekend, shall we?

Nowt from the prof since 5pm yesterday, he's off up north to visit him mum for a couple of days (shrug). The fact that I'm not that bothered speaks volumes.

Tons to do today. Need to do a dump-run, take the money-leech-children out, might go for a swim later if I have time. Last free listing day on eBay, need to do that...never enough days in the weekend.

Ok, just to play devil's advocate for one minute, two thoughts - 1, if he didn't get home til 5am he may well still be asleep. I wouldn't be but I know people who would. 2, if it were me I know I wouldn't be able to resist texting him to find out what's up. Not sure if that's the right thing to do but it's probably what I would do. (Then again it seems giving undeserving people the benefit of the doubt is fast becoming my trademark!)