Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH hit me in the face last night and he's not sorry.

426 replies

Blackberryinoperative · 29/08/2012 10:30

My DH hit me in the face last night while I was breastfeeding our baby. He is not sorry. He says he has "forgiven me" for our argument, why can't I forgive him?

I told him he is not forgiven. I am really angry at him but the worst thing is he is not sorry. He doesn't think he was wrong. He did it because I told him to fuck off three times. He warned me to stop saying it but I carried on. He says swearing in front of the children is just as tantamount to violence as hitting.

I am not a weak person or an apologist but I really am nonplussed as to how to take it from here. Separating will be hell on earth. Not because we are so in love or anything but just logistically things will be a complete nightmare. How do I make him see he was wrong to hit me? And that swearing sometimes does not a bad parent make?

OP posts:
Blackberryinoperative · 29/08/2012 14:17

I don't really know what to say. My self confidence is pretty low now, it wasn't before. Thanks mumsnet.

I know it was wrong to smack dd. I don't think it's the same as a punch in the face. I didn't have fair warning. I had a small baby to hold.

I think I have all the advice I can cope with for now. I am going to talk to him tonight about separating. If he wants joint custody I will allow it as I think some people are right I'm not cut out for the job without support clearly.

OP posts:
CherryBlossom27 · 29/08/2012 14:17

I think theQuibbler's post above is very sensible.

OP, your husband should never hit you under any circumstances. If he felt so angry he had to burst he should have punched the door or something, but not you!

I agree with the other posters who have said that if you get away from your husband then you will not be stressed and shout or smack your children.

If someone is telling you that you are useless and crap every day you will start to believe it, IMO you need a break and time away from your husbands criticism to find your own strength again.

LoopyLoopsOlympicHoops · 29/08/2012 14:20

Sorry to contradict you naturalbaby but relate is not the answer to being punched in the face whilst holding a baby.

gingerchick · 29/08/2012 14:20

Sweetheart I am so sorry that this happened to you, you must be in pieces and so confused, I was in a violent relationship for 11 years so am experience here, my mother is dead and my father not around. I have two children one I was pregnant with when I finally ended things. There is only one answer here, unfortunately it is the hardest one, this will not be an isolated incident it will happen again especially if you Just 'put up with it' this time. You smacking your little girl is not the issue here, a very occasional smack will not harm her, what will harm her is her father treating her mother badly and most importantly her mother being so unhappy. Your children will know how unhappy you are and this will make them unhappy. For your children's sake and yours you need to get out, I had had noone I get that you feel alone butt there are people who can help you, you really do deserve better than this

CherryBlossom27 · 29/08/2012 14:21

I also wanted to add that you need to trust yourself. If you were a bad mum, you wouldn't feel so bad about smacking your daughter.

AlexanderS · 29/08/2012 14:21

I wouldn't rush into anything OP. Joint custody with a man who has done something violent like that? I'm not sure about the wisdom of that. You can be just what your children need. You love them and you're their mum.

dreamingbohemian · 29/08/2012 14:21

You don't have to make any big decisions about custody right now, and certainly not without speaking to a solicitor.

Whatever issues you have, your husband has been violent to you while you were holding your baby, that doesn't bode well for his parenting either.

Do you feel safe having that conversation with him?

PooPooOnMars · 29/08/2012 14:22

But if he won't step up when you are struggling with the kids how is he going to be with sole care for half the week? Do you think he would even want shared custody?

Blackberryinoperative · 29/08/2012 14:22

If people could only read between the lines....

I have said that whenever there is a problem with the kids it's not accepted by him as a natural occurrence in the life of a parent.

IT'S MY FAULT and IM DOING IT WRONG and I CAN'T COPE.

This is all I get from him. This is what he thinks.

OP posts:
LoopyLoopsOlympicHoops · 29/08/2012 14:22

NO OP. People saying you need support do NOT mean that you are as bad as him. Very likely you will be much less stressed to the point of not snapping at your kids when they are naughty if the horrible man goes.

Please think this through before just asking for separation. He sounds very manipulative, and highly unsuitable for joint care of children.

Really, honestly, truly, do you think he should be looking after your kids? He punched you in the face. Call the police.

gingerchick · 29/08/2012 14:23
  • am talking from
AlexanderS · 29/08/2012 14:24

Don't ever forget that, because you are their mum it is you that your kids need - it's a role that can never be performed 100% satisfactorily by anybody else, no matter how rubbish you may feel you are at the mothering thing and how good others appear to be at it.

Blackberryinoperative · 29/08/2012 14:24

He would want FULL custody. He wouldn't get it though.

He is mr perfect with the children. Never gets cross, never smacks, never shouts, washes, dresses and feeds them better than I do.

Oh yeah, about three times a year!

OP posts:
Offred · 29/08/2012 14:25

I'm not saying an occasional smack will irreparably damage her children btw Hmm

I'm saying the attitude that her smacking was acceptable because she did it the right way but DH's punching was not ok because he did it the wrong way and has not said sorry is what will harm them. The issue is not that he won't say sorry or that you feel bad about dd. it is what you do about it that counts. The combo of pity party and aggression/word twisting is really hard not to react to tbh.

CherryBlossom27 · 29/08/2012 14:26

I'm going to shout (sorry)

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU ARE A LOVING MUM

Ignore your husband he is criticising you to keep you under his control.

LoopyLoopsOlympicHoops · 29/08/2012 14:27

I'm trying not to scaremonger but he sounds very unstable and very manipulative.

He is trying to make you believe that you are incapable.

He is violent, but he could well paint the picture that in fact you are. Although I don't agree with smacking children, I can so very easily see how it happens, especially if undermined by the other parent. This does not make you incapable.

Please believe this and report the bastard to the police before he either hurts you again, hurts the children, or tries to separate you from them altogether.

Offred · 29/08/2012 14:27

It isn't your fault, you aren't doing it wrong though. You know it. BUT what are you actually going to do about it? It is destroying you inside and dragging the whole family down.

BlackberryIce · 29/08/2012 14:28

Don't be so sure. Courts are giving more and more these days, with 50/50 being the starting point

Dv towards the other parent won't stop him having good access

gingerchick · 29/08/2012 14:28

Sweetheart he won't get full custody he is making you feel useless to keep you in your place he needs your self esteem to be low because it suits him, this isn't about your faults but his, you sound like a great mum honestly in extremely upsetting circumstances, don't be too hard on yourself

PooPooOnMars · 29/08/2012 14:28

I have said that whenever there is a problem with the kids it's not accepted by him as a natural occurrence in the life of a parent.

I did notice you had said that. Does he really think that or do you think he uses it as a stick to beat you with?

OneMoreChap · 29/08/2012 14:29

Once is too often.

He's done it once, he will again.

RabbitsMakeBrownEggs · 29/08/2012 14:29

I think people are jumping on a red herring here, this is a woman in a relationship where she is being belittled and mentally abused by her partner, who has come in at her time of need because he has punched her in the face. She needs support, not people focussing on what sounds like a symptom of a loveless, unsupported marriage to a man who is abusing her.

And if not, there is plenty of time in the future to worry about the way she parents, AFTER she has sorted herself out.

I am sorry to say OP that it doesn't sound like your marriage is bringing you anything, the man you married sounds like he doesn't respect you at all, which is apparent in how he is systemically destroying your confidence as a parent (your weak spot I gather since you are concerned about this) so that he can control you. Even if I am completely wrong and he is willing to work on his temper and lack of respect, I think you need to have some distance. You can report the assault and the police will escort him off the property, then a solicitor can help you to protect yourself from him coming back.

Don't let people's response her stop you from taking positive action to protect yourself and your children. What's betting that without the pressure of this man belittling you and punching you in your face when you shout back, that you are a much more relaxed parent?

garlicnuts · 29/08/2012 14:30

Blackberry, you can call the police non-emergency number (101) and ask to log a domestic violence incident. You don't have to press charges, this is entirely your choice. As others have said, requesting that it be put on file will be helpful if things escalate. Oddly enough, it may also help you feel less bludgeoned by doubts, as making it 'real' in a small way clears up the part of your mind that still wants to pretend it didn't happen.

So have I got this right?
His dad: grumpy, sullen, abusive.
His mum: conciliatory, minimising, keeping up appearances.
Your dad: grumpy, angry, abusive.
Your mum: angry, expressive, fighting a losing battle.

If right: Neither of you are too impressed by your dads.
H recognises that his mother didn't stand up for him. Your mother stood up for you; H sees her in you and hopes you can fill in the gaps left by his "smoother-overer" mother.
You recognise that your mum had to fight your dad's violence. You see that H doesn't do violence and hope he will save you from having to fight.
H fails to realise how much he still values his mother's "appearances". He has difficulty with your expressiveness, being more used to suppression.
You fail to realise that non-violent abuse is just as bad or worse. You have difficulty with his sullenness, being more used to explosion.
Despite loving the ways you differ from his mother, he tries to make you more emotionally restrained.
Despite loving the ways H differs from your father, you try to make him more emotionally dynamic.
This sets up a powerful struggle between you. Since neither of you give much conscious thought to what's going on, each of you experiences the other as critical and unhelpful.
Because you're both strong characters, the power flows both ways.
Sometimes he gives in to your hidden wish for him to be more explosive. Because it's unspoken, this gets channelled into the one thing you wished to avoid; violence.
Sometimes you give in to his hidden wish for you to be more suppressed. Because it's all happening under the surface, this comes out in the thing he most wished to avoid; putting appearances before reality.

If you think I'm on anything like the right lines, your relationship could theoretically be addressed through counselling if you were both on board with it. You would certainly need to start with a strict "No violence, more talking" rule and get yourselves booked in with a strong, sensible counsellor. I've got to warn you that, in my experience, violence can be stopped but controlling behaviour can't: only the methods alter. It's up to you - and perhaps more discussion on here - to work out whether you feel there is still a way forward or it's better to agree you're incompatible and split as reasonably as you can.

Either way, it's time for you to acknowledge that counter-attack isn't always the most effective response to feeling attacked.

This has taken ages to type, so may have cross-posted with many. Wishing you well!

dreamingbohemian · 29/08/2012 14:32

If you think he would pursue full custody, that's even more reason to report him to the police for hitting you.

PooPooOnMars · 29/08/2012 14:34

I can imagine that if i got called a useless mum every time my children played up or were crying because they were teething or whatever, i would start to get more stressed and worried and might be harsher towards the children.

Not that its right. But if my ability as a mum was being constantly criticised i would really want them to be well behaved because i would want the criticism to stop.