Blackberry, you can call the police non-emergency number (101) and ask to log a domestic violence incident. You don't have to press charges, this is entirely your choice. As others have said, requesting that it be put on file will be helpful if things escalate. Oddly enough, it may also help you feel less bludgeoned by doubts, as making it 'real' in a small way clears up the part of your mind that still wants to pretend it didn't happen.
So have I got this right?
His dad: grumpy, sullen, abusive.
His mum: conciliatory, minimising, keeping up appearances.
Your dad: grumpy, angry, abusive.
Your mum: angry, expressive, fighting a losing battle.
If right: Neither of you are too impressed by your dads.
H recognises that his mother didn't stand up for him. Your mother stood up for you; H sees her in you and hopes you can fill in the gaps left by his "smoother-overer" mother.
You recognise that your mum had to fight your dad's violence. You see that H doesn't do violence and hope he will save you from having to fight.
H fails to realise how much he still values his mother's "appearances". He has difficulty with your expressiveness, being more used to suppression.
You fail to realise that non-violent abuse is just as bad or worse. You have difficulty with his sullenness, being more used to explosion.
Despite loving the ways you differ from his mother, he tries to make you more emotionally restrained.
Despite loving the ways H differs from your father, you try to make him more emotionally dynamic.
This sets up a powerful struggle between you. Since neither of you give much conscious thought to what's going on, each of you experiences the other as critical and unhelpful.
Because you're both strong characters, the power flows both ways.
Sometimes he gives in to your hidden wish for him to be more explosive. Because it's unspoken, this gets channelled into the one thing you wished to avoid; violence.
Sometimes you give in to his hidden wish for you to be more suppressed. Because it's all happening under the surface, this comes out in the thing he most wished to avoid; putting appearances before reality.
If you think I'm on anything like the right lines, your relationship could theoretically be addressed through counselling if you were both on board with it. You would certainly need to start with a strict "No violence, more talking" rule and get yourselves booked in with a strong, sensible counsellor. I've got to warn you that, in my experience, violence can be stopped but controlling behaviour can't: only the methods alter. It's up to you - and perhaps more discussion on here - to work out whether you feel there is still a way forward or it's better to agree you're incompatible and split as reasonably as you can.
Either way, it's time for you to acknowledge that counter-attack isn't always the most effective response to feeling attacked.
This has taken ages to type, so may have cross-posted with many. Wishing you well!