I'm quite happy with a jar of Branstons

[LouP19]

Morning all.

Talking of Toast Toppers, he took 2 tins of that as well. Yes, really.

My pantry is now full of Heinz cheese ravioli and Tesco sausage and beans.

[Kaloobear]

I completely agree with LostMyIdentity. I'm sorry Porto that you're experiencing this, you really don't deserve it.

Lou, I hope you're doing ok this evening and I'm glad your counselling session was helpful. I'm not posting often but I'm still thinking of you and so is my DH! Do text/call/PM if you ever want a chat. I still reckon you're Wonder Woman! x

[Portofino]

Um garlic, she is expecting his child. Yes she doesnt HAVE to talk to him but I am sure it would be advisable to do so at some point unless she just wants to the courts to decide.

[WetAugust]

Lou doesn't need any advice from any of us - she has plenty of RL advice.

We should post supportively. Recounting our own experiences is fine - but not when our own experiences colour matters to the extent that they become the only way something should be done.

[LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay]

Jesus. Well, I think this thread is as bonkers as a bag of frogs. I've just been sent a msg which I think is accusing me of being a troll??

However, as I'm not sure, I'm with lissie, wishing Lou all the best and I'm totally off this thread.

Insanity.... (*Lost departs, confused, possibly offended but probably can't be arsed to be, and now looking for oatcakes and brie - they can't possibly piss ANYBODY off...?)

[bleedingheart]

I don't understand how posters can be criticised for guessing how Lou's husband will act but then we have a description of how the pressure on him to conceive has driven him on?!
Lou is smart and crucially, very well supported in real life. It is less than a month since her husband took all of his possessions (and some of hers) from the house without warning, moved to an unknown location and disclosed he's got a pregnant OW. Lou has hit a solicitor, Lou has spoken to the ex, she had spoken to the utility and mortgage company. If mumsnet provides some light relief and crumpet talk it really dorsn't hurt anyone. A brief assertion limited to one post if something us legally/factually wrong will protect other posters and lurked surely.
Lissielou- I am sure your counsellor didn't blame you; ther are different forms of counselling and counsellor. Please don't feel attacked. You shared your experience to help others.

[bleedingheart]

Got a solicitor not hit one! iPhone!

[Portofino]

I have said nothing on this thread that was not in Lou's best interests. Many others have given poor advice in the name of support. I apologise for sticking to the advice and not pom pom waving - but that is ALL I have done and will not be demonised here. Others need to look at their own motives.

[Bobyan]

The tread's more interesting if you hit the solicitor

[bleedingheart]

Why can't Lou have both? Does she not deserve a bit of 'Pom pom waving'? She isn't making any choices based on what is said here. People have been quite explicit in parts as to what she should do; she hasn't done it.
Pulling apart every new situation the OP is in, isn't actually advice or support either, is it?

[Portofino]

bleedingheart, I agree. I was only replying to the personal attacks on me.

[Abitwobblynow]

Sorry Porto. If I had said 'don't be so po faced' nobody would have noticed anything.

But please do not doubt Lou's capability. She CAN survive recipes, fantasies on how to deal with Chunt, clever doggerel and outrage on her behalf. She CAN distinguish between it all, she is a clever lass.

And you calling her professional advisers dodgy incompetent etc, and insist on giving her CORRECT advice, well, sadly it slightly proves the point does it not?

Lets not get too pedantic. This is Lou's life, and she will make the decisions that are best for her. Whatever we say, exaggerate or fail to say. We really don't have that power, but we can be there for her.

Make no mistake, however sad Lou is right now, she is a very capable person.

[herethereandeverywhere]

Still don't see how criticising OP's counsellor for supposedly being "unprofessional" is in the OP's "best interests" when the OP described how positive that counselling session was.

[RebeccaMumsnet]

Hi all,

We really don't want to have to delete this HUGE thread because it descended into a bunfight towards the very end.

Can we please ask you to focus on the OP and stop the cake throwing or we will have to zap it

[olgaga]

I would like to add my voice to those who are defending Porto. What on earth has she said that is so wrong? Some of us can't be bothered with the whole chutney/crumpets/poetry stuff but that doesn't mean we don't have valid points and observations to make, and sensible advice to to put forward.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with pointing out the fact that if Lou goes ahead with this pregnancy, that will mean the involvement of her ex in the child's upbringing. His conduct so far and the manner of his departure - awful though it has been - will have no bearing on the divorce, the financial settlement, the residence/contact arrangements or his involvement with the child's upbringing. Communication will be required, even if it is through a mediator.

I think some people on here have allowed themselves to get rather over-excited. It isn't a soap opera!

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

Telling posters not to post on a thread on a public forum is a bit iffy if you ask me. I have nothing against cliques formed on mumsnet but if you don't want contributions that are not of the pom pom waving kind and that are of a different opinion then you really ought to start a facebook group or summit. It would be a shame because OP obviously benefits from the support and advice but watching posters be attacked for having differing opinions is horrible and not in the spirit of mumsnet.

[WetAugust]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with pointing out the fact that if Lou goes ahead with this pregnancy, that will mean the involvement of her ex in the child's upbringing.

I think the OP may have realised this herself.

She strikes me as quite intelligent.

[Portofino]

olgaga - thank you. That is exactly the point I am trying to make. Everyone has got so carried away with the support thing - like it is Eastenders or something.

[WetAugust]

'Cos it's the bleeding obvious innit?

[Portofino]

What is?

[Ponders]

IMO it is the style of Porto's posts that causes a problem, not the content, which generally just states the bleeding obvious

[Ponders]

sorry, WetA, X-posts

[Portofino]

Yes, the obvious is that I am not a pom pom waver. I go on what Lou has written and give the best advice based on that.