The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Still On A Sober Holiday, Waiting For The Summer!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes on the Battle Bus, it's HUGE and never gets full, the doors are always open, 24/7, every single day.

We're a mixture of people who have been drinking for most of our lives and in one way or another, abuse(d) alcohol.

Some of us have stopped drinking every day completely and are taking it One Day At A Time.

Some are trying to control their drinking with medication, willpower, AA, some of us aren't quite sure what we want or where we're trying to get, but we're here, we're all in the same boat Bus, and there's a seat for ANYONE who wants one.

You can find the previous threads HERE and where this Bus first started it's journey, thanks to a wonderful lady, who'd hit rock bottom face first (and she'd admit that to us herself), seeking help and advice from a bunch of 'strangers' on an internet forum........

Come have a peek, take a seat, we don't bite or judge. We listen and will try to help, best we can.

Ma get a rescue cat, we did 5 years ago and she's lovely. Followed by our rescue dog Alfie a few months ago. They live in perfect harmony. Well almost.Joey where does your dog sleep? Mine has his bed on the end of my bed so I can see him but don't get dog hairs all over the sheets. One of the advantages of being single, no man to tell me he's not allowed up :)

NoNo you said something in an earlier post about recognising that if you had a drink it would set the ball rolling again. That's always been the issue for me, stopping completely for a while, then trying controlled drinking and finding that the ball is indeed rolling and picking up speed....That's why I've decided I can't drink, not even one, not ever. It's hard and I've missed having a drink this weekend but one or two is never enough and will always lead to a binge eventually. I hold this knowledge close to me now and it protects me. As well as the antabuse of course. I've decided to only take it when a craving hits me or before I go out socially. If I can do that it means I won't have to take it that often. And I don't want to rely on it for ever so need to wean myself off it.

Mouse you're right about the social stigma that still exists. Yesterday I was at a friend's having a quick drink before lunch with her lovely 94 year-old gran and I asked for a juice. Her gran said to me "you won't get to be as old as I am if you don't have a proper drink you know." If only she knew.

Carrie will try the Bottle Green cordials, thanks. Are you there Bproud? Let me know when you're next passing through. Have a great day everyone.

Thanks all

I would love to get a cat. Think I will at some point

Feeling ok about last night's gin. Not having any tonight. Not sure whether I really want to drink at the moment. The gin was there. If it hadn't been I would probably not have been tempted.

Morning:) Haven't had a chance to catch up properly yet, Day 22 for me, will stop counting when I reach Day 28 . Weekend was spent mainly watching telly but I felt a bit more content to sit at home this weekend!
This morning I set my alarm and walked for an hour before work, and today I am determined to drink 2ltrs of water:)

Morning, tis me, Mouse

NoNo - Bingo! The gin was there so you had some. See, that's the trouble with me, if there is booze in the house and I'm feeling low/in excruciating pain/pissed off/over tired then that's when the risk of me picking up increases to EPIC proportions!

DH always has wine in the house, he has it delivered quarterly so I know that if things get really desperate, I can have some of that but to be honest, it's in a wine rack in a different room so I can't see it. To me, that makes a massive difference.

If I open the fridge and there's a nice, ice cold bottle of cider, or some vodka, I struggle. But the daft thing is, when I do drink, I only have one or two and yet I still beat myself up about that small amount. So, I tend not to bother drinking it at all.

Soma - yep, well done her for getting to the age she has but if she knew the dangers alcohol does, maybe she'd be thinking differently. My grandmother comes from a generation where alcohol was very much part of the daily routine.

A drink before dinner, a drink with lunch, it was very much like smoking; completely acceptable, and even expected in some social circles.

Koti - yet again you have made me and DH is looking at me like again. I like your school of thought!

Ma - get the cat. You need someone to love you when the DC's aren't there. Cats love cuddles (well, mine does) and they are great at wrapping themselves around you on the sofa too. We have Mabel who is 17. She's lovely.

Right, off to do the food shop. Be back later xx

morning - just a quick one.

someone asked about how do you know if you're an alcoholic the other day and i heard an interesting definition that said you had an obsession with alcohol and a compulsion to drink alcohol. not that the first drink you have will necessarily be the one that sends you into compulsive drinking but that you don't know if it will be the one. maybe you'd drink 'ok' for a while but you can't be sure because sooner or later that compulsion will kick in and you won't be able to just have the one or two you planned on and you will be compulsed (against your own better judgement, against what you had decided etc) to drink more. the obsession is whether you're drinking or not.

not got a clear head for explaining things today but wanted to share that.

Great post Saf you've expanded on what I said earlier about knowing that so-called controlled drinking for me will always lead, sooner or later, to a binge. Mouse "I only have one or two and yet I still beat myself up about that small amount. So, I tend not to bother drinking it at all." Is that because you feel that it might lead to drinking too much again?". It's SO valuable to know this finally, that one drink always leads to a bottle or two, even if there are days or weeks in between.

Ob I've been very content to sit around this weekend too, interspersed with lots of walking and a few catch-ups with friends. Why are you working today?

totally soba - that's why it's the first drink that does the damage even if the catastrophe comes several weeks later. you start the ball rolling and you do not know where or when it's going to end.

i find that handy to remember - so when you think of that first drink you play the movie to the end and face that you just don't know what will happen. the illusion of control is gone.

Am in Ireland Soba so no Bank Holiday here:)
SAF, playing the movie through to the end is really helping me not have that first drink, I definitely don't have a STOP button!

Hi babes,
just checking in. Day 4 for me today
Hope everyone having a good day.
Got to dash. Will have to read back later.
Bye for now

Thanks for the warning girls. Last night i felt completely in control of it but I am aware that it is probably a complete illusion. I shan't be drinking any more for a while.

Hope everyone is having a chilled Bh - except those not in Uk obviously. No chance of BBQ and beer here anyway. Pouring rain. Am still feeling crap. Think it is the lurgy still. Bf is here and has said he will babysit when kids in bed for me to go for a run. Will maybe do 3 miles or so. Do like running in torrential rain. Something quite liberating about it

Busy day here - cinema at 1030, trip to camping shop to buy DD a sleeping bag as her blow up bed now knackered. We then had maccy d's (well kids did - I can't stand it!). And then 2 hrs swimming. Everyone exhausted again so quiet tea time then bed. Although we hadn't been in 2 mins when one of the local kids appeared so she and DD are doing craft now. Which means one huge mess as you can all imagine...

Well done rural. You are doing fab!!

hello babes

500ml of wine last night (that's less than an ordinary bottle) and I ended up staying up too late (what is this dislike of going to bed if I've had alcohol?)

It has of course triggered the buying of more. Again, not too much but it becomes a habit.

Oh and in my tipsy state I posted a rather rude remark on an online forum. It wasn't offensive, I just thought I was being amusing but I dread going back on there and reading what people's replies were... if they have any sense they will just ignore me...

soma the dog sleeps on (not in!) the bed. Luckily he doesn't shed hair and he doesn't usually smell because he gets bathed a couple of times a week. But DD has allergies so we don't usually allow him on her bed. Thats why it was so cute to see them curled up together...

I envy you Joey, a non-shedding dog. What breed is he again? Despite being short-haired (JRT) Alfie sheds short white hairs everywhere and I've given up trying to keep on top of it.

Hope everyone's having a good evening.

Dd2 been offered a 3 year place at Glasgow Academy of Musical Theatre and Arts. Course starts next week! She got a surprise late audition. She is thrilled but we can't afford the fees. now what? Haven't a clue about loans and grants etc. On paper we have good salaries so we won't qualify because they won't take into account our outgoings such as debt repayments - we are in the last 6 months of a debt repayment plan which we have stuck to for 6 years without single default. Can anyone help as to what to do?

ma - speak to the college? They should have someone who can advise? Very well done her though. That sounds absolutely amazing

I am utterly exhausted so off to bed again. Taking the kids to longleat tomorrow just so I can indulge my enjoyment of seeing hippos and sea lions in the lake in front of an English stately home. Never fails to delight me. Suspect the kids are less impressed though

The booze has no appeal tonight. Perhaps yesterday did help in a way. A little mouthful reminded me I liked the taste but that actually I don't need it. And certainly don't want it tonight.

Sleep well babes

koti Well done on day 5. I've managed to hold off the wine witch so far but its been hard and I am still tempted to have just the one!! Found an AA meeting I can get to, will try after ds goes back to school next week.
Going to try and sleep after this post as have an early start tomorrow and just find it so difficult to sleep when abstaining.

Goodnight and sleep well everyone xx

Well done rural. That is amazing.

Morning, all.

Well, the long bank holiday weekend is over, a hint of autumn is in the air, and it is time for me to get a grip.

I feel so utterly crap at the moment. I drank about 40 units over the weekend, and my lack of control has made me loathe myself about as much as it is possible to loathe oneself. I've been awake since 5 am, just lying in bed feeling useless. Added to which, I have just stepped on the scales, and I have put on 5 pounds in 3 weeks

So I am not going to wait until September 1st. Day one is today.

It's just not worth drinking - the cons outweigh the pros by a mile. Infact, what are the pros? I wish I could knock some sense into this stupid head of mine.

I'm out all day with my DDs. When we get home this evening, I will not be drinking. Tomorrow I'll go for a long walk/run and blow the cobwebs away. I can do this. I will be strong.

Morning lovely babes,

Day one for me again 1/2 bottle last night.

Tired and fed up today,partly because of the wine. We have tried to sleep train ds and it's sooooo horrible that I just caved in and snuggled down with him. He was delighted but it means that I don't get that lovely quiet hour or so, to myself before I go to sleep.

I'm going to visit the sleep / horrible toddler threads in the hope of advice.

Not drinking today.

I'm going to come back and say hi and well done to everyone when I'm feeling a bit more cheerful sorry for the me, me,me post.

Something else we have in common then Kot (apart from being introverted problem drinkers). I was woken by a very strange animal sound last night, a cross between a seagull and a dog barking and it turned out to be a muntjac running up and down the street hiding under cars. So exciting!

Carrie when you said you were going to give up on 1st Sept it made me think you weren't ready. If you're ready to give up, you do it there and then. And now you are, so that's really positive. You'll be tired when you get home but if you don't reach for a drink and go to bed sober you'll sleep like a baby and wake tomorrow all shiny and new. For me the turning point came when the self-loathing was with me virtually all the time. I just couldn't bear it anymore, waking up and for a split second feeling like a normal person and then the horrible truth....

Hope to hear from you later and good morning to all other Babes. And Squirrel, are you still there, how are you doing?

I fell of the bus and I'm back with my tail between my legs.

For some reason, yet again, I got it into my head that I could control it wtf!

Day 3

hello again mrsm

soma dog is a toy poodle, but NOT one of those clipped into mad shapes with pompoms - I do it myself, and most people think he's a cockapoo. Photo on profile.

I think I will join you guys who are on Day 1 and say 'enough!' Actually I was better last night - didn't feel irritated by the end of the bottle, and managed to get to bed on time. But I still don't like it, it hangs over me.

Good morning all,
Day 5 for me
gugg half a bottle is not bad, my last fall from grace involved 2 bottles.
Anyway that was yesterday. Good luck with day 1 today.
Remember toddler sleeping problems, can't really give any useful advice though. Think if they have it really bad you have got to be willing to stay up most of the night, constantly leaving them, comforting them, leaving them again etc. My youngest ds was awful and I was always exhausted before him and ended up doing the same as you.
nono thanks for the pat on the back, you are doing brilliantly, hope you and dc have a good day.

forgot to say welcome back mrsm I know the I can control it thoughts well.
Anyway you are in the right place for support to get back on track.
carrie good on you
bye for now everyonexx