The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Still On A Sober Holiday, Waiting For The Summer!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes on the Battle Bus, it's HUGE and never gets full, the doors are always open, 24/7, every single day.

We're a mixture of people who have been drinking for most of our lives and in one way or another, abuse(d) alcohol.

Some of us have stopped drinking every day completely and are taking it One Day At A Time.

Some are trying to control their drinking with medication, willpower, AA, some of us aren't quite sure what we want or where we're trying to get, but we're here, we're all in the same boat Bus, and there's a seat for ANYONE who wants one.

You can find the previous threads HERE and where this Bus first started it's journey, thanks to a wonderful lady, who'd hit rock bottom face first (and she'd admit that to us herself), seeking help and advice from a bunch of 'strangers' on an internet forum........

Come have a peek, take a seat, we don't bite or judge. We listen and will try to help, best we can.

no apologies isinde. what you say makes a lot of sense - we all tend to do it - develop defences that are necessary at some point in our lives and actually do serve us for a while but then when the danger is over we're still in the habit of those defenses and don't know how to break them. so mega independence and not 'needing' people is a great defense when you're growing up with negligent/distant/abusive/whatever parents for example but later it becomes a problem when it gets in the way of forming intimate relationships for example. i think drinking is very similar to those psychological defenses - i reckon for a lot of people that's what it started as then eventually the drinking itself becomes the problem.

koti - i mean help with mental health and with drinking - ss will want to see that you are taking positive steps to manage your depression and drinking. that means being able to say what you have done differently - re: i'm going to aa/an alcohol problem service/whatever to address my drinking, i am seeing my gp/a counsellor/the mental health team to monitor and help manage my depression etc. they basically want to see that you are honest and aware of your problems, using services available and being proactive in managing them. they don't take kids away for parents having problems but for parents not addressing or dealing with their problems itms. if they can see yes she is addressing x by attending y, doing z etc then they can tick boxes that say you are managing your condition, you are supported and there are checks and balances in place. in a way it's playing the game but in reality it's also doing the right thing because you do need to make changes and get help when something as serious as attempting to take your own life happens x

Hi brave babes. I tried to read thw whole thread but got to page 10 and realised I have to go to work at some point today! Just wanted to pop on the bus and take a look around if that's okay x

i've gotten drenched taking ds to school and have come home, got changed into dry clothes and gotten back into bed with a cup of coffee to get warm. it is HORRIBLE out there!

got to my mum's yesterday in the freezing cold and she was drinking a whisky and ginger - i was like god i want one of those and she was like no, what do you want to drink, me: one of those, her: tea or coffee? thank god she did really because at that point if she'd poured i would have drank.

Hello lovely babes

De lurking to wish kotinka the best, I'm so very sorry to hear how hard things are for you,you are so kind to everyone and i just wish you a happy, healthy, booze free week. Look after yourself.

2 days af.

Morning everyone,
Second the what a wet, miserable horrible one saf. well done for resisting that drink
Welcome greeneyed hope you like what you see this is a wonderful safe bus.
gugg well done on 2 days AF.
Such insightful honest posts on here at the moment, big hugs isinde and koti you both give so much to this thread hope things are going well for you today.
mouse Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your PM you always have time for a babe in distress even when they haven't explicitly said they are in distress you just seem to know. You are a wonderful lady.
Start of day 3 for me.

saf you're back in bed! Lucky cow! I am really struggling to get up in the mornings, although I think the mirtaz is starting to work. I must help myself and get to bed earlier. I've got in the habit of staying up late, no matter how tired I am don't know why.

isinde no need to apologise, just let it all out. Do you have a plan for when you get back home?

morning!!!

just a quick in and out (so to speak )

isindi, can i just say something? will you please stop beating yourself up!! you are a good person, kind, thoughtful, honest....come on, i could go on, just keep trying! ((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))

mouse, just a quick thought on what people may be thinking when they look at nemo, when they see the tube and the plasters and the meltdowns... i think and truely believe that the majority of people are kind, theat they feel real compassion when faced with a child like nemo, that when they look they feel a little pain in their hearts because they know they cant help him, or you, that they look at him and feel protective and helpless and wish to god that they could do something - nice people are not judging, they turn away because they feel that you would feel uncomfortable by their presence (especially during a 'meltdown') and the last thing they want to do is add to your troubles. those that do judge, well, fuck em! they arent worth another thought!

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Saf - that sounds like a wonderful plan coffee in bed, al snuggled up, it's pouring here too! WELL DONE on not drinking yesterday and even more so, well done on your mum saying tea or coffee

That must have been tough for you for a nano second or two....

JWN - yes, I agree with what you say, I know that lots of the looks are looks of 'I wish I could help' and O am so very please that the lady did come ober to try and help me.

He's just sooooooooooo strong and I'm so weak. I am going to try and get to talk to them in Manchester when we go this Thursday for his pre-op assessment. This is to discuss closing his cleft palate and when will be best for it to happen.

Given his op history, I am scared to death about it already. He has always had complications and we have been so very close to losing him on many an occasion. Thankfully, the team there are more than aware of his history and are very reassuring.

I think because it's always been me who has stayed with him, I know what's coming.

Anyway, JWN, thank you. Your words made me see yesterday's meltdown through kinder eyes and yes, those who do judge can Fuck Right Off to Fucksville! .

Rural - I hope you feel better today xx

Well, we're at that time again HERE is the new thread.

Same as always, fill this up and keep posting the link for the new one so we don't miss any Babes

We're off to play at a friend's house soon, so I better eat and get mu furry bottom into gear. What I want to do it snuggle on the sofa with our king size quilt, with Nemo watching Disney films all day..... oh well.

Have good days everyone xx

Hello all,

mad day workwise, just bumping this up, so no-one get's missed
xxx

p.s Faire how do you get on with those leopard skin thongs on school chairs? Mine are very uncomfortable .

Isinde I would like to second JWN's post. You are so kind and clever and, well, just plain bloomin' lovely. I know it's difficult for you not to, but please don't minimise the things that have happened to you in the past. It's not run of the mill stuff. it's not everyone's experience, it's certainly not mine and I'm sure many others.

Have you been to counselling at all to talk these things through? You were brought up to be tough, not make a fuss, not complain, suck it up, etc. But now we know that that can lead to problems in adulthood. You deserve to be heard. I'm so glad you're on this bus

Hello and welcome greeneyed. There is certainly a lot of reading to be had from these threads. And there is always room on the bus for more . Feel free to join in anytime. Maybe tell us a little of what you would ideally like to achieve/change about your drinking?

Saf I would have dearly loved to climb back into my bed this morning. That's really great that your mum helped to divert you from the 'moment of madness'. Sounds like she's getting it now?

Thurso shhhh, that's supposed to be a secret . . .

leopard skin thongs? say what?

hello? As soon as I mentioned the thongs, it all went quiet...

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Welcome Greeneyed - not sure I said hello to you

Well, today has been a bit of an odd one. DH has a bit of the blues and it's one of those downers that he can't quite put his finger on. I hate seeing him in pain, in frustration, in doubt of himself.

Hmm, not sure how to handle that one. So, I'll leave it for a day or two and see how he gets on.

School tomorrow so another full day for us both, Nemo and me..... and then we have hours of probing etc on Thursday when we go to Manchester to see his army of HCPs........

I'm scared.

I'm scared about his next operation, how it will go, will he be okay. And just now I can't tell DH because he's got his own pressures on. Maybe that's what it is? Maybe he feels like me.... worried about work? Life? Nemo? Me?

Phew, it all adds up I guess.

Anyway, I best go and make lunches for tomorrow.

Stay Brave Babes, keep breathing, keep trying to get through the fog, the mud that pulls you back. It's all up to YOU and if you want it, then get it. If you want to be drink free, then get drink free. There is SO MUCH help out there.

Night lovely Babes, cheese sarnies call!! #glamorouslife

Ahh I see now

Mouse - I cannot imagine how hard things must be for you and Nemo. I just have the tiniest inkling of how you must feel when things kick off in public. I think just about all of us with kids have had the 'stares' when our kids have kicked off in public. I have even had 'helpful' interjections from well meaning bystanders which have reduced me to tears because of their insensitivity. I think it is made worse when you are feeling desperately sad for your child and desperately wishing that there was something you could do to reduce their trauma.

So...this afternoon, my Internet went down, and the printer, and my phone, I was bereft, but I am of of an age when we didn't have any of it!
Hello greeneyed welcome, this is a great place
Mouse I know what that's like!, you dont know what to say for saying the wrong thing! We have had another major night of phone calls, and at present DH is watching nigella, despite me wanting to TALK!

I so hope for you that thursday goes well, but know, all the time, and in your heart, that YOU know what is best for him. You are connected to Nemo in a different way to DH, at least that is what I found when Ds had a life threatening episode, after many scares. Maybe it was just my DH, but he was so pragmatic, where I was "What, Explain it, Why, What will happen, etc, etc.

Who knows the right response?

Love to all, and isinde hope you are happily on your way back, safely.
Sorry for any spelling mistakes. Not used to this thing yet! Got to do it though! Keep up with the 7 year olds
xxx

Checking in. You all have so much to deal with in your lives but are so strong in keeping on keeping on.
Indie babe - you rock

Oof just had many texts from dc1"s gf, that I felt I had to reply to, we didn't do this in my day[maybe that's why my mum wasn't so tired?!
Anyway, some toast and tea. And back to bed
Ma my lovely how're u doing' .
Cricket, I'll be tired in the morning!

Anyway,