The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Still On A Sober Holiday, Waiting For The Summer!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes on the Battle Bus, it's HUGE and never gets full, the doors are always open, 24/7, every single day.

We're a mixture of people who have been drinking for most of our lives and in one way or another, abuse(d) alcohol.

Some of us have stopped drinking every day completely and are taking it One Day At A Time.

Some are trying to control their drinking with medication, willpower, AA, some of us aren't quite sure what we want or where we're trying to get, but we're here, we're all in the same boat Bus, and there's a seat for ANYONE who wants one.

You can find the previous threads HERE and where this Bus first started it's journey, thanks to a wonderful lady, who'd hit rock bottom face first (and she'd admit that to us herself), seeking help and advice from a bunch of 'strangers' on an internet forum........

Come have a peek, take a seat, we don't bite or judge. We listen and will try to help, best we can.

Bproud I'll ask DD about the hole in the fence :)

Thank you for taking the time to describe in such detail what having the first drink can lead to Faire and Saf. It's so true that we need to plan what we're going to drink - my last relapse happened because my friend offered me a glass of wine at lunchtime out of the blue and I hadn't expected it and somehow I just said yes. We can be doing so well and in a moment it can all be undone.

That's what scares me Soma, how quickly we can slide back into it, each time I feel like a drink I "play the film through to the end"

the tabby kitten has pulled off my j key... some photos will be forthcoming at some point, alias

Thanks SwallowedAfly for fab advice, it really wouldn't be hard for me to think of 3 snapshots when at my absolute worst, read your message this morning then had to sit thru boring 3 hour meeting and managed to muster up a fair few more than 3. Really great advice to observe others around, don't think I've ever done this as when pregnant with ds (almost 3) got drunk at any social gathering we went to...Gosh that must of looked classy!
And yep I am always the last one to leave, that comment conjured up a memory of going to a neighbours, small, intimate gathering to celebrate birth of new baby, I couldn't stop drinking the free bubbles and then when it was only me, her, her dh, dsil & 2 small children she gave me the rest of a bottle of bubbles and sent me walking round to mine, I thought this so funny til I woke up in the morning and had to go and return her glass and realised I had way outstayed my welcome
Thank you for taking the time to give advice Fairenuff I definitely don't take it in any way other than helpful or supportive.It resonates such a cord and your descriptive of the night could of been describing any night that I go on. Was dancing away on my own at the wedding on Saturday with no shoes on and my dh say's I definitely get a stary eye when drinking wine and my dd say's she hates when I come home when drinking.
I'm going to the wedding all day on Friday but dh only coming for evening, I'm so so so wanting not to take that first drink that I'm thinking I could just say to him to bring the car but don't know if I'm expecting too much and have done things like this and then left the car miles away and dh had to go collect as I don't leave the house next day or the next sometimes. I so want to do this but so many things act as triggers (my own mother for one)
Hope everyone has had a good day today...sorry for long, rambling post!

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Sorry that I've not been around much, I've been super busy, supporting Nemo (for the new Babes, he is my gorgeous and adopted by many Brave Babes little boy who has Complex Special Needs but is in main stream pre-school) full time this week, as we're (us and the pre-school) trying to get him as familiar to school as we can, because in less than 12 months' time, he will be there. and

I've noticed a few new names, sorry not to remember everyone but a big hello and also that one of you asked why the thread was in here and NOT General Health.

FWIW and this is just my 2p so feel free to ignore me, JesusWhatNext is the most wonderful woman imo, who took a huge step, a very shaky first step and posted the very first post, on the very first thread right here, when her relationship with her entire world had turned to shit. Big time.

She really was on the verge of losing her husband, her daughter, and other vital relationships too, hence her posting in Relationships.

And, as the years (I am an old Babe too ) have rolled by, the thread has developed into much more than words on the screen in front of you about alcohol abuse.

We all talk to each other, new or not about what leads us to drink, and sometimes that's a shit relationship with another person, or even ourselves, but the biggest thing for me is that this is all about our relationships with ALCOHOL.

We talk about most things here because they're all relevant to the Relationship we each independently have with abusing booze. It fucks up so many relationships if we let it, and for a while, most of us do.

We rarely talk about the actual real health part of drinking, because the emotional side of it seems to stand out a whole lot more for most of us, but I feel that the health part of your/my drinking is still a huge part of the thread.........

I personally would be a bit upset to see the Brave Babes move to General Health, and the question has been asked before.

I think it's always a great idea when you first take a seat on the Bus to read THIS because this is the start of what we have, all of us, right here today.

We've seen posters come and go, we've seen fantastic success stories, and we've cried for each other, laughed with and even at each other, we've also read about the devastating consequences to our acts of consuming too much alcohol......

Maybe I'm biased but it feels like home here in Relationships, I'm a bit of a soft old tart like that.

In the past, as one new lovely poster has said, people see posts in General Health and point posters in need in our direction, I think we've kinda got used to being here and MNers know that The Brave Babes clogg up chatter like mad in here!!

Anyway, there you go.... I'm shutting up now for a good read back and a good old catch up.

Welcome to the new Babes, you are in a great place if it's support you want, those who have used and are still using AA have fantastic insight, those who have used other medication methods too.

Only YOU can work out what will help you to get where it is that you want to be................. and, I'm guessing that for a lot of the newer posters, the thought of NEVER drinking again is the most horrific thought of all time!

Also, at the top of each page, there's a link to track back to earlier threads. If you click on it, you can read from page one and then find the previous one to that and so on........

There really is some great advice and coping strategies on here....... it's just a very personal journey for each and every one of us.

Obrigada - YOU ROCK!!!! You really do. You didn't think for a single minute you could do this a few month's back, look at you now! Fab! xx

Saf - Chocolate spread is my second undoing to cheese..... well done on the couch to 5k. I miss exercise so much. My gym membership ends at the end of this month and I'm not renewing it. There's no point if I can't even walk most days.

I hope you get to where you want to with it, I know Ma did great with it . Hope the new pup is settling in too xx

Right, more snot meds, and more tissues.......

Checking in. Am going to start couch to 5k again as I am piling on the weight and look awful. Have done it before,can do it again.

Thank you mouseface for lovely description as to why tread is here & not in health, when I was reading it it was so obvious that made me think why did I even look in health, of course it's peoples relationship with alcohol & then with everyone else when under the influence. Did the original poster get the help & support she needed. I am going to go back & read from the beginning, sure if I do that will find some really helpful & supportive posts along the way. Wishing you & your ds smooth transitions from pre-school to mainstream

Thanks Koti - Fellow Atkinser's again once this cold gets gone! Well done on the loss, Atkins is the ONLY one that works for me. I love it and have gotten a good recipe book now after 2 years of dabbling, I will PM you some food links and ideas soon xx

Obrigada - Did the original poster get the help & support she needed. - Do you know what? Yes, I'm glad that she did. I honestly think that the people who were there/here (I came in later) at the start of JWN's MN 999 call when she hit rock bottom and posted her first thread saved her LIFE. All of it. Her marriage, her relationship with her very hurt DD....... And I bet she'd be the first to agree?

I'm off to bed, why is it that only one nostril ever stays blocked up?

Night night Brave Babes, KEEP GOING!!!! xx

evening babes and ahoy me hearty kotinka (not sure what's going on with you, but happy to play along if it means singing a sea-shanty and shivering me timbers)

Made it to 1 week (with rather a lot of chocolate and toffee sundaes) I hope things will get easier now. My health is again all over the place, but I just keep reminding myself that alcohol would make me feel WORSE. I know, must see a doctor

clutter when you say its an all-day thing on Friday, does that mean the meal is in the afternoon, and then a 'disco' (Showing My Age!) in the evening? Would you normally have started drinking from the start?

well haul my mainsail, I never knew that.

Hi aliasjoey yep wedding all day, with service from 1pm then meal, then evening do starting at 7pm. At the wedding I went to last Saturday we started drinking at 12md then carried on until 4am so 16 hours drinking alcohol. Also I barely touched my meal which is what I do when drinking so had only had breakfast then nothing else all day. So tired of this cycle that's been going on for years and so fed up of ruining friendships, relationships due to my drunken behaviour. Feel like not going to wedding on Friday, by a good friend has asked me to go as her plus one & know I would be really letting her down if I don't go.

you're not rambling clutter - good to get it all out. i find there's a lot of thinking and remembering and working things out to be done - all the stuff you've been deliberately not noticing over the years or quickly 'forgetting' if you do face it need a good look at. can be quite freaky putting the picture together and realise how willfully you must have been ignoring/denying it to not SEE stuff. see i waffle for england

fine here thanks mouse. sorry to hear you're not able to walk most days!

i lost 4lbs last week the old fashioned way - eat less crap, fill up on good stuff, so less calories but good calories and more exercise. all the fad diets/trick your body into losing pounds in a day schemes give me a short term quick loss followed by a speedy return to where i was.

so i live on jacket potatoes, veg, eggs and lean fish at the minute. i never eat potatoes usually yet having them as the staple is the core to me losing weight every time. must.keep.eating.potatoes.

not sure if i mentioned that i have bought a chicken coop and am having 3 ex bat hens delivered at the beginning of next month turning into a bleeding ark round here. all name ideas gratefully received. at the minute i'm leaning towards eastender types like: peggy, shirley and dot or cute old lady names like hilda, betty and pearl.

clutter are you planning on drinking at all? If so, I would not have anything at all until the evening. Lunchtime is a very early start! I'd make a deal to have the first drink only when DH arrived (you said your husband was coming for the evening do only?) Would that be a possible compromise?

It will be hard when everyone else is happily quaffing champagne, I know, we all know. Oh and for god's sake don't have that 'toast' and then try and go back to soft drinks! Once you've had the first one, all sense flies out the window. You say you're going with a good friend - can you ask her to buddy you?

ooh i like maggie!

clutter do you have children? thinking the easiest thing would be for you to go for the day bit and then go home - dh could bring the car, you could drive it home - make up an excuse of having to pick the children up or whatever and give dh an opportunity to have a drink? i personally would think twice about going to such a triggering event so soon and would certainly minimise the time i had to be there if i did.

I'm starting my second week!

Begining to feel good... not physically, physically I feel awful, tired all the time etc. Unable to concentrate at work. Legs ache. Moan, moan.

But mentally, emotionally - its all starting to hang together. Managed to go to sainsburys without even considering buying alcohol.

On top of that safs got chickens, kotinkas got kittens and its not raining

Anchors away! (still talking like a pirate, I didn't get much opportunity yesterday)

Well done everyone! Getting into the habit of not drinking is key. Eventually it becomes normal not to drink and your evening isn't a gaping chasm of no alcohol. At least for me anyway. Not sure if it is the same for everyone

Still poorly here. This virus has been hanging round for a week and before that I had another one so have been feeling off colour for ages.

BOING!!! did i hear my name being mentioned?

im really sorry about this but i have not caught up with the thread in ages rl has taken over with a vengence right now so if i get the next bit wrong i apologise in advance....

i posted my first kind of 'cry for help' in relationships because at the time that seemed to me to be the part of my life that was disintigrating, my 'family life' was a joke, a great big stinking mess of me being drunk and horrible, me being hungover and miserable, me being alternativly defensive and angry or pathetic and making promises i just couldnt keep - i think i knew deep down that i was killing myself but tbh, the health part of my drinking was very easily overlooked (by me!) i could ignore symptoms etc, i couldnt ignore my family i put them through a daily misery, they never knew what state/mood i was going to in (sometimes i was fun, even they said that, but those times were becoming very few and far between) looking back over the last couple of years again, for me, the health part of being sober is almost secondary, yes, i feel fantastic (i look fairly good too! ) but for me, the relationship part of my life is the most important, my wonderful dh, my fabulous dd and now my very lovely son-in-law are the focus of my life, i have found new friendships, new interests, a renewed interest in business..... my list could go on for ever, a far cry from the pathetic drunk who was scared her family were leaving her - i hope my ramble makes sense, im so sorry i havent been around much lately, but as always, i know that i will find friends here who understand, a priceless commodity!!!

There's a lot of positivity here today :)

I'm thinking of going back to AA to get a bit of support whilst I'm on antabuse so hopefully I'm better prepared for not drinking when I come off it (I want to be on it a whole year, so that'll be around March next year). I'm not sure if I want to do the Steps though, I started before and it just didn't seem to work for me. Do any of you AAers feel that there's benefit to be had from going but not getting a sponsor?