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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Still On A Sober Holiday, Waiting For The Summer!

999 replies

Mouseface · 21/08/2012 20:52

Hello, tis me, Mouse Wink

I'm one of the Brave Babes on the Battle Bus, it's HUGE and never gets full, the doors are always open, 24/7, every single day.

We're a mixture of people who have been drinking for most of our lives and in one way or another, abuse(d) alcohol.

Some of us have stopped drinking every day completely and are taking it One Day At A Time.

Some are trying to control their drinking with medication, willpower, AA, some of us aren't quite sure what we want or where we're trying to get, but we're here, we're all in the same boat Bus, and there's a seat for ANYONE who wants one.

You can find the previous threads HERE and where this Bus first started it's journey, thanks to a wonderful lady, who'd hit rock bottom face first (and she'd admit that to us herself), seeking help and advice from a bunch of 'strangers' on an internet forum........ Smile

Come have a peek, take a seat, we don't bite or judge. We listen and will try to help, best we can.

OP posts:
kotinka · 20/09/2012 12:17

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aliasjoey · 20/09/2012 13:34

kotinka yes I take a multivitamin plus extra vitamin D. Had blood tests checked last year and everything came back normal except low vitamin D. (and that wasn't low, just borderline)

and as well as the CFS-if-that's-what-it-is, I'm also coming down with a cold.

And now its raining. Sad

guggenheim · 20/09/2012 15:08

Hey lovely babes,

I'm really not doing well at the moment, with abstaining I mean,I feel fine. Think I'll just lurk for a few days and de lurk myself when I've got a few af evenings behind me. I really, really don't have a good (I know, there are no good) reason to drink but I've had one or two glasses every night this week. I'm just a lazy sod.I shall hibernate for a while and then the new shiny guggs will emerge, like the butterfly at the end of the hungry caterpillar Grin

I am a little worried that I may catch a cold from you lot and I'm Envy Envy Envy that SOME people have kittens and I don't. I shall send good wishes to all and -stalk- lurk loads but I'm better off having a re-think and a massive kick up the jacksy.

Thanks for all the fab support x

aliasjoey · 20/09/2012 16:35

aww guggs sorry to hear that. The bus will hold your seat for you.

I am also jealous about the kittens Smile

Wellllll (long meandering post ahead, you have been warned)

Last night I was trying to justify to DH and DD buying several toffee sundaes by explaining I needed a reward for not drinking wine. DD (10) asked why was I not drinking, I explained it was healthier not to.

It had ever occurred to me that she didn't know alcohol was unhealthy! She sees everyone drinking, its normal, nobody really talks about the damage it does. Should we tell kids? at what age?

The other thing is that I had toffee sundaes to take my mind off the wine, but I don't think she made the connection that being sober is hard because alcohol is addictive... Hmm

So I'm wondering how to talk to her - without doing what MY mother did, which was to tell us that there was a 1-in-3 chance one of us would become an alcoholic like our father (and also, that I was most like him in many ways) Self-fulfilling prophecy, huh. I know she was just trying to scare us off, but jeez... although maybe she had a point cause I did apparently inherit the 'gene'. I didn't learn his drinking behaviour, because he was never around and until I was 20 I actually found alcohol abhorrent. But of his three kids, I am most like him in looks, intellect and general personality. I don't know if the tendency to addiction is inherited, both his parents were also alcoholics....

aliasjoey · 20/09/2012 17:03

oh I'm not expecting any answers... just mulling things over...

People who don't have kittens have a lot more free time on their hands to ponder the mysteries of life...

Mouseface · 20/09/2012 17:14

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Koti - I feel awful. Flu like and shaky but I need to get our Flu jabs set up. We all have to have them apart from DD who is thrilled.....

Another full shift in Pre-School with Nemo and the joyous little darlings that I am privileged to be around all. day. long. Hmm Grin

I do really enjoy being in there, I really do, just not with my body in this state and having a cold. If I could get fixed for good, and be pain free, I'd love to re-train to be a nurse or go into teaching/classroom assistant type work.

Soma - I think that's a great idea about going to AA for support. Support in anything you are trying to beat, any addiction, any goal you are trying to reach, any achievement.... support, positive, full support is key. Go for it xx

Joey - I told DD about my own shit experiences of drinking. The worst bits but the good bits too. In moderation, alcohol can be a pleasant thing to consume. In. Moderation. And in control, YOUR OWN control that is. Being honest works best with me and my DD. She's 13 now but even so, she's seen me make a complete arse of myself more times than I can to mention and I 'll never forget my own mother throwing up red wine out of a car window, my grandfather's prize car on holiday one year....

I had hold of her fags and purse, my younger sister who must have been only about 5/6 had my mother's false teeth in her hand, looking very scared at the scene unfolding before her.

There's no easy way to talk to children about anything, to talk to them about your own behaviour, to justify to them why you are changing something that they're used to.

JWN - Thank you for posting about the start of your journey, I think you rock. Always have, always will. Keep being that Lady xx

OP posts:
Isindebusagain · 20/09/2012 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mouseface · 20/09/2012 19:24

IsinDe - how are things? I often worry/think of you when I don't see you on the Bus for a while, as I do others I guess.....

Grin

How are your gorgeous girls? How is your gorgeous wedded other? I miss your posts.

Well, I've managed some Heinz tomato soup and a bit of cheese on toast. My splitting head is sending me and Nemo up to bed..... he's in with me as I can't get out of bed currently (due to pain levels) to go in to him if he wakes and DH is snowed under with work.

That said, I plan to stay in bed for an extra hour or two on Sunday as I'm hoping to meet up with a friend on Saturday night if I've stopped looking like I belong inside Shrek's nasal cavity! Grin

I hope you are all safe and sound wherever you are tonight.

Saf - you made me have a re-think about the Atkins. I've tweeked it to how I like it, so I don't throw my body into Ketosis which is where the danger lies (Ketosis - your body stops burning the fuel you put in, mainly carbs as there aren't enough and starts to burn stores of fat) which puts a HUGE strain on your kidneys to say the least.

As one who swore it's the only thing that helps me lose weight, my life is more sedentary than it has ever been due to pain levels so, I think portion control, less alcohol of course (not that I drink unless I'm self medding or celebrating which is actually rather rare) fresh foods (we have nowt in tins in this house other than Heinz beans and tomato soup!!) that DH is growing in the garden, water, water and more water.

My skin looks so much better when I drink at least 2/3 pints of water a day. It's easier than you think if you just have a pint glass and keep it topped up.

Anyway, healthier eating, moving when I can, less stodge, less chocolate and more positive thinking about all the things I love about my life. And when I stop to think, there are more than I thought Smile........

Life is too short to chase the wine to the bottom of the bottles each night. Chase something you want to do with your life, something that makes you smile. Something that you can actually get a reward from.

Pay It Forward.... teach yourself to love YOU and you'll not go far wrong.

Night all xxxx

OP posts:
NoNoNoMYDoIt · 20/09/2012 19:29

Rushes in to wave nursing scragged palm where my reflexes weren't good enough against a playful kitten. Can't stop. Kittens to play with Grin

Seriously though - lots of lovely encouragement on here today. guggs - look after yourself

rural - are you there?

Off back to play with kittens again Blush

ohcluttergotme · 20/09/2012 19:36

Ahoy there me hearties , speaking like a pirate is common in my house as ds (almost 3) is obsessed with everything piratey at the moment! Aw how fab getting chicken swallowedAfly I've thought of that a few times and a girl at work has three and seems to really enjoy keeping them, love eastenders names, also thought of hetty, betty, esmerelda, jinty, jemima (as in puddle duck!) jezzabelle?? Well Done on 4 pound weight loss, that's amazing Smile Also agree that going to a wedding so soon after making the decision to seek help for not drinking too soon but really don't want to let my friend down. Kotinka well done on day 6, so brilliant and hope you enjoy games tonight and they distract you to get to one week tomorrow!!

aliasjoy was so sure that I just wanted to go to wedding and completely abstain but now realising that this is huge and don't think I can do it but don't want to let friend down so going to try some damage control so plan is a) no drinking on arrival b) eat all meal, every bit and fill up on bread c) don't have first drink til dh arrives. The friend that I'm going with has her own issues with alcohol and we have had big chats in the past about alcoholism in both our families and our fears so no she would be supportive of my plan. Huge well done for you getting to 2 weeks, that's amazing, hope you find the strength and support to keep going Smile *NoNoNo sorry your not well and hope you can shake horrible bug soon dam this awful wet weather Sad
JWN Your story is truely inspirational and from the little I have read from original thread your change is circumstances from then to now is amazing, your destructive pattern and cycle of drunk/hungover/fun/mad/scary/sad/remorseful sounds very similar to my life, amazing you managed to change all that for the better. Did you go to AA, do you completely abstain from alcohol now or did you learn how to be a "normal" occassional drinker?

I just spoke to my mum and said I don't want to go to wedding as don't want to get so drunk and definitely don't want to drink wine if it's on the table and my mum said "oh, you can have a glass" I said no, mum thats the problem I can't...she said oh well mb you'll be allright and it'll be one of those weddings where it's only one glass on the table per person! Arghhh yep I've been to weddings like that...I end up drinking for the ones who politely say no then straight up to the bar to get a glass/bottle then the rest...well thats what I don't want to do! My mum is deep in denial about her own drinking but hey think that's another thread Smile

aliasjoey · 20/09/2012 20:05

clutter umm I'm only just starting the second week, but thanks!

It sounds like you have a good plan, and you're so right about other people being in denial. If you know you can't just have one, then don't have one. I would definitely try and hold out until the evening, you would literally be cutting down your drinking time in half. And you'll feel so proud of yourself when you wake up on Saturday and know you didn't do anything stupid.

Ha! an idea - why not take no money so you can't buy any alcohol? You can't drink until DH arrives later?

No wait, that won't work you won't be able to buy soft drinks either. Give your purse to your friend? Or is that too much responsbility for her?

I don't know - where are the clever babes when we need them?

Isindebusagain · 20/09/2012 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohcluttergotme · 20/09/2012 20:20

Sorry alias didn't mean to sound patronising that your only going into 2nd week. For me that means you've got thru a weekend & for me getting thru the w'end would be amazing iyswim
I think tomorrow's best plan would just be not to go but don't want to let friend down. Going to stick to the plan & have 3 snap shots of dreadful nights ready to bring out when needed.

aliasjoey · 20/09/2012 21:04

clutter its okay, I just thought I'd misled you and implied I'd done 2 weeks when in fact I've only managed 8 days so far!

Does your friend know what your plans are?

ohcluttergotme · 20/09/2012 21:15

alias nope friend unaware what my plan is or that I went to GP on Monday to take the first steps but know that she'll understand where I'm coming from. She is quite good when she's out & spaces her drinks & tries to alway have water in-between

ohcluttergotme · 20/09/2012 21:18

isindebusagain your plan for your civil partnership sounds like it went really well & what your mum did sounds very like my own dm on the morning of my wedding day, what is with that? I'm starting counselling in a couple of weeks so sure will be fun to explore the dynamics there. Good luck with staying on the bus & hope your meal was lovely Smile

aliasjoey · 20/09/2012 21:21

okay, like others have said it helps to have a plan, maybe you could write down your intentions and show it to her. Not just 'I'm going to drink less today' but specifically 'I'm not going to have any alcohol until DH gets here, would you mind buying for me so I don't get tempted' or something

Just a suggestion, what ever works for you. I will be thinking of you. If isinde can do it being followed round the house by someone urging her to have a drink (??! what the hell?! I assume your mother had some issues with other people not drinking, maybe saw it as a threat to herself? but not wanting to harp on the past anyhoo) then there's hope for us all.

kotinka · 20/09/2012 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dementedma · 20/09/2012 22:27

Waves at indie

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 20/09/2012 22:28

Wow so much amazing advice here tonight. Don't forget we will all be willing you on clutter. Can you take your phone and post to us from the loo or something?

Tonight I went for a walk with BF when i got home as still feeling too rough to run. He suggested we went to the pub in the village so he could have a cider so we did. And I had a soda and lime. It tasted rank but I didn't drink alcohol Grin. First time out since I stopped drinking and I didn't self combust. What nice tasting non alcoholic pub drinks are there? Don't like soda syphon coke and j2o are too sweet.

venusandmars · 20/09/2012 22:28

hi clutter - hope you're still reading before you go to the wedding....

This is what has worked for me (apologies for long post, but borne out of much experience of drinking and not drinking).
Firstly, being really clear in my own mind what I want to achieve. Saying "I hope I don't drink" or "I'm going to try not to drink" never worked for me - partly because hope and try are pretty weak verbs (passive rather than active - like hoping for nice weather, but not being able to influence it), but also because mostly our brains don't recognise a negative (like don't). So our brains can't distinguish between "I hope I don't drink" and "I hope I drink"
So instead, use an active verb, and frame things in a positive term e.g. "I plan to remain sober". Then add something extra, like: "I plan to remain sober, and to have a great day".

Then really really really* plan for your sobriety. In the same way as you might have planned for a really stupendous night out. So where you might have stuffed your handbag with vodka - instead stuff it with sweets or peanuts, or bottles of blackcurrent and beetroot fruit juice (or whatever floats your boat).

Know, absolutely and clearly what you are going to ask for to drink, and also how you are going to ask for it. So when someone offers you a tray laden with champagne or orange juice, know and practice phrases such as "oh I'm really thirsty, I'd love an orange juice". Or at the bar, say "I'm looking for something thirst-quenching and cold, so I'll have a lime and soda (lots of ice, and not too much lime, thanks)"

Next time round, have another plan e.g. "well you know I'm feeling a little warm, so I think I'll have another lime and soda" or "actually I've got a bit of a headache, so I think I'll have some orange juice", or "actually I'm a bit hungry, so I'll have some apple juice, and leave the wine." The best thing about this strategy is three-fold: 1) you will have reinforced your mental plan to remain sober; 2) you will have got over the difficult pre-dinner phase of a wedding; 3) you will be hydrated and your stomach will feel full, avoiding false signals of wanting something to eat/drink.

Then a big bit of advice: HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired) - these are the biggest triggers of drinking. So avoid them. Weddings are notorious for leaving you waiting ages for a meal. So don't rely on canapes and champagne to keep you going. Take in your handbag, a banana, or a kitkat or a bag of peanuts or some nuts and raisins. Anger (or other emotions) - feel like crying? then cry; feel angry then go and stomp around outside; feel scared? then find a comforting friend - just for today deal with various emotions as they arise. Try posting here - any rubbish will do.
Lonely? Which people can feel most in weddings surround by 'loved-up' couples. Find other lonely people (old relatives will always chat to you - and who knows , you might make their day).
Tired? Have a coffee, put your feet up, and know that you'll get a good nights sleep.

And finally, have with you a list of the horrible-ness of getting drunk, the brilliance of being sober; the links to this thread, the phone number of the local AA group.

Remember it is only 24 hours. The next day you can change your mind and get as pissed as you like, but for that 24 hours, why don't you try an experiment, see how well you can do, and feel good about whatever happens.

venusandmars · 20/09/2012 22:39

nono I now treat my pub outings in the same way as I/others have treated it in the past. So where I once only drank pernod and blackcurrant in a pub where they had shweppes blackcurrant, I now only drink lime and soda where they have Roses lime cordial (or fresh lime).

I like grapefruit and soda, I like freshly squeezed lime and soda, I like orange and soda, I will be OK with sparkling water. Or even coffee.

If you don't like them, then leave them and try something else - it will still probably cost less than a large glass of wine.

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 20/09/2012 22:50

venus'- thank you. Grapefruit and soda sounds lovely. I would like that very much
Will remember it!

aliasjoey · 20/09/2012 23:04

I knew venus would have some great advice for you! The tip about taking snacks in case you are waiting around to eat is also a great one. Somebody on here once said 'think of us all on the bus when you feel a craving' Smile

NoNo well done for the the pub!

ohcluttergotme · 21/09/2012 07:02

yep back on before wedding slightly adicted to mn thanks for advice venus really appreciate it all. Actually feel sick and wish I wasn't going but going to take all advice and tell myself that I will remain sober and if, having a drink, not going to til 7pm but still going to try not no. Know that sounds like a slightly defeatest attidude but just not sure I can go and say no all day so thinking if I tell myself just get thru the day. Wish my friend had never asked me to go. Really like the idea of checking into here and think that may make it easier to say no. Feel like I'm trying to get thru 20 years of destructive drinking and generations of drinking and a culture of drinking and today is now feeling like a really bad idea. I start counselling in a couple of weeks so hoping that will help work thru all the feelings I have around alcohol. My dm definitely likes me to be her drink buddy as it makes her own drinking ok and in-particular her relationship with wine, sometimes I feel doomed!! Sorry this is all sounding so negative Sad