The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Still On A Sober Holiday, Waiting For The Summer!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes on the Battle Bus, it's HUGE and never gets full, the doors are always open, 24/7, every single day.

We're a mixture of people who have been drinking for most of our lives and in one way or another, abuse(d) alcohol.

Some of us have stopped drinking every day completely and are taking it One Day At A Time.

Some are trying to control their drinking with medication, willpower, AA, some of us aren't quite sure what we want or where we're trying to get, but we're here, we're all in the same boat Bus, and there's a seat for ANYONE who wants one.

You can find the previous threads HERE and where this Bus first started it's journey, thanks to a wonderful lady, who'd hit rock bottom face first (and she'd admit that to us herself), seeking help and advice from a bunch of 'strangers' on an internet forum........

Come have a peek, take a seat, we don't bite or judge. We listen and will try to help, best we can.

Soma Happy Birthday for yesterday!! xxx

Kotinka I hope you are reading even if you don't feel up to posting.

But you know how much we mother hens worry about each other, so please, pretty please, come back to let us know you're ok when you can?

Sometimes we have used a code in the past, so if you don't want to 'talk', could you just post a number to indicate how you're doing? 1 being almighty crap and 10 being just tickety boo

Or you could pm mouse for a chat as I know you two share some common problems and, of course, she is wonderfully supportive and helpful and would be more than happy to hear from you I'm sure.

Take care, my lovely x

< ruffles feathers and clucks about the bus for a bit >

ma so glad you decided to take the plunge. Eeeek! Who knows where it will lead, and when opportunity knocks . . .

That will be my dd in three years time, guess I'd better start saving!

hi all!!! just a quick check in to say hello! am super (awful!) busy right now, not complaining as such, just complaining, iyswim?

take care!! much love!

L XXX

I am not doing well at the moment. I am not used to being an 'angry' person, but I am so upset ... my bastard of an ex is getting married next Saturday, and not only are my 2 daughters being bridesmaids to the tattooed little slag who was screwing their father behind my back, but now I find pictures of the stag day on Facebook. The pictures wouldn't be a problem, but they feature the husbands of my 3 closest friends in the village where I live ... so now I find out that the people who I poured my heart out to, ranted to, and trusted when I wanted to vent about his apalling, selfish and irresponsible behaviour, are not only going to this wedding, but have clearly kept up a friendship with the shit in the 3 years we have been separated. I feel so betrayed, and at the same time like a 7 year old competing for friends in the playground. I don't give a shit about the wedding, BTW, she's more than welcome to him, but I feel so betrayed.

I know I need to internalise this anger - letting rip at them is bound to backfire on me - and I don't want to end up as a bitter and twisted old woman with no friends. So forgive me, babes for ranting on here - I needed to sound off somewhere!

I will most definitely be drinking tonight.

Rant away Carrie

Best not to internalise it, let it all out. Your dds will discover his true colours for themselves when they are older, unless he does actually turn out to be a decent and responsible dad.

In the meantime, I know it's hard to see your friends still socialising with him but that doesn't mean they can't be your friends too. Some people drag allsorts of old 'mates' out for a stag do and then hardly ever see them again.

x

Hi carrie

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I do understand how you feel. In these situations it's easy to feel like they have chosen other people over you but they won't see it like that. He's just a mate to them. They're not being friends with him to spite you. They honestly won't think that much about it. Hoping you have a better day tomorrow.

I didn't drink the wine. It's still there. Dh didn't mention it last night and today we have been visiting family. Dh had a few beers with his family so I drove. We're in now and it would be so easy to go and have a glass but I know if I can just avoid it for another hour I will start to feel sleepy and the urge will have passed. I might have to lose the bottle somehow tomorrow. Any ideas?

rural re. DDs rash, bits of it did seem like chickenpox (which she has already had) but she hasn't been ill, and has had this rash for about 2 weeks. Also other bits are definitely not poxy...

NoNo my god you have described me completely, taking responsibility for everything etc! It's not that I don't trust the GP - doctors have saved my life and I owe them a lot - but I'm aware of their limitations. Eg the doc who first diagnosed me with CFS, 2 months later said I had depression. I don't think he's incompetent, just too busy. And I need to be on the ball.

I've stopped the mirtazapine and my stiffness and aches have gone! But am starting to feel tired again and the sleeping tablets (Sominex which has the same ingredient as Phenargen) aren't helping much...

carrie sorry to hear you're feeling so angry. This may be hard, but sometimes friends don't want to have to take sides, even if they can see who is right or wrong. I know people who - after an affair has been found out - now don't see any of the people involved - I guess it's just too awkward. Sorry, that doesn't help much... I don't have much advice except to say, Facebook is the work of the devil.

betty put the bottle in the car. Or even better, in the shed. At the back, underneath a pile of spidery junk.

Make a cup of tea and tell yourself that if you STILL want a drink afterwards then you can go down to the shed, in the dark, and rootle about trying to find it. Laziness/spider phobia/fear of looking ridiculous in front of the neighbours usually solves that problem.

Welcome, by the way

Aibu to have called dhs bluff after a screaming match in the car because we were lost and DS was crying and dh yelled to stop the car and let him out so I did.
And drove off. And left him some where in Glasgow in the rain. He has just arrived home now, 5 hours later,soaking wet. I can see the funny side but he isn't speaking to me

ma oh gosh thats a tricky one! yes you were probably a bit unreasonable, but everybody has their limits and maybe you needed to - otherwise the only alternative would have been to shove the map down his throat? For the sake of your sanity and poor DS it had to be done. 5 hours! No wonder he's sulking!! (it always rains in Glasgow so he can't blame you for that)

Mulling it over, no you weren't unreasonable. Even if you did pull over, it was his choice to get out, right? (you didn't actually PUSH him out of a speeding car??!) You did the right thing.

Oh Ma I think we can all see the funny side . I am convulsing here; but I hope you manage to patch things up this evening!

Faire, Betty and Alias ... I know you are right. And I'm sure there is a big part of it that is down to male bonding, with the females (perhaps) feeling uncomfortable. The breakup was totally down to XP (well, I would say that, wouldn't I!) It has just come as such a shock to me that my 'friends' have felt it necessary to keep the contact with my ex so under-wraps. But I am a big girl now, so I will stay cool, yes I will!

3/4 down a bottle of wine now, so sorry for maudlin wailings.

He had also been a complete shit all morning because I refuse to be his personal blowup doll and actually exercised my right to refuse his in welcome advances. He did say "stop the car and I'll find my own fucking way home" so he did ask for it. Feel bad that DS was upset though so had to pretend it was all harmless fun when I want to rip the fucking bastard to shreds!

I think the phrase I was looking for earlier was 'end of your tether'. Yes it was a bit unreasonable, but understandable - just wish you'd taken a photo of him standing there. In the rain. The fact that he not only asked you to stop the car, but actually GOT OUT shows that you both needed space from each other. Perhaps not for 5 hours... oh dear, shouldn't laugh...

ma - oo. You are braver than I would have been. Do understand why you would have felt like that. Hope things aren't too bad tonight

alias - anxiety is a killer and I can understand your reasons given your history but you need to be able to work through the anxiety - somehow - in certain situations. The idea to get your mum to have a look is a fab one for instance. That is acknowledging the anxiety, and letting someone else whom you do trust in. That is the sort of strategy that CBT comes up with for these situations

Have a confession. Have had a shandy. Made one for Bf and poured one for myself. There is only one more beer in the fridge so no chance of blowing out. Argh tho.

NoNo I've had about 100 hours worth of therapy - I found CBT very useful - haven't been for nearly a year - the best therapist I found (after trying about a dozen!) works a long way away - and charges a fortune. But yeah it is helpful. Ever read Dr Burns Feeling Good?

unfortunately my mum doesn't live round here so can't ask her opinion. I think I'll have to take her to the GP tomorrow, if only to rule out chickenpox so she can go to school.

Did you have a shandy knowing that there was only 1 beer? That is very controlled, as long as it doesn't lead to slippery slope tomorrow..

No I haven't read that alias. Will google

Have had the beer in the fridge for a week so guess it was going to get drunk at some point. I had hoped not by me

Shant be buying more tomorrow and there is no more in the house. So the slope won't be slippery tomorrow. At least.

Ma good for you! I don't think you were unreasonable at all. He was acting like a baby. Maybe he will think twice before he talks to you like that again.

(But it might be a while before he talks to you at all )

David Burns popularised CBT (that's what wikipedia says anyway ) I haven't read it for many years, so don't know how well it compares to modern therapy. But for a cheap paperback, it was so helpful and interesting. And sensible - you don't need a degree in psychotherapy to understand it, and it works on your problems NOW - no deep delvings into your childhood.

I don't need alcohol to make a fool of myself.

Maybe I use it to numb the 'oh god, how could I be so stupid?' feelings.

Yesterday I made a right tit of myself by asking some poor shop assistant a totally inappropriate question. Yet, even as I was talking a voice in my head was going 'What the hell are you doing?! SHUT UP!'

Okay that was anxiety I guess. I was so worried about something, social convention just flew out of the window.

I'm still stressing out about taking DD to the doctors.

Morning, another weekend alcohol free:) Five weeks now, no longer counting days but just taking it day by day.

well done obrigada!

that's great obrigada

hope everyone is having a good first day of the week.

Well done obrigada. You are storming

All ok here. Hoping no long term harm done by last night's shandy

We definitely have autumn here. Leaves on the turn. The only positive thing is dd is back at nursery today so I have had a run while she is there. And cooked the tea!

Hi babes,
just checking in. Haven't read back.
Feeling a bit like koti felt last time i was on.
DEPRESSED.
May take a break from posting but will be lurking
joey hope you have seen gp and had a diagnosis regarding dd rash.
Take care babesxx