His mother should've swallowed

[LouP19]

Is this title too rude?!!!

I appreciate everyone warning caution. Trust me, I'm using this place to rant and rave and swear and all that,... at the moment I haven't done anything. And even if I do manage to locate him (with some first class help!) I might not necessarily do anything with that information just yet. But I would just like to know, that's all, instead of driving round looking for his car all the time,.... Just this knowledge will make me feel a bit more empowered.

All advice on here is very helpful - the calm, the practical, the hysterical, the funny, the 'been there done that', it's all amazing and I value all of it.

Catsmamma - shockin waste of a spud!!

AHEM

portofino for heavens sake this is a support thread. You're not offering anything but stress,criticism & repetition. Do one.

Dublindee - ha ha, waste of a potato. I like that!!

as said many times before, can we all please ignore and not engage....

This is Lou's thread, nobody else's.

If you don't like what you read, then stop reading it....

I agree Lou, it must take a long time to count all those teaspoons and line up those chutney jars. Do they each have pet names

Porto is a long time poster who give fantastic advice unlike some of the shit spewed on these threads

I've read all the threads with increasing levels of and [anger] on behalf of the op.

He has behaved appallingly.

But I do feel that portofino is getting unnecessary stick for pointing out the obvious which is that it is a seriously rash idea to get other mumsnetters to follow your ex. If you absolutely need to know where he is, get a PI. I don't think though that finding out his way is going to help you move on.

Good solid legal advice re: house and contents is your best bet.

It does sound like he is aware that he has fucked up in the most astronomical and unrecoverable way. That's a given really, taking into account the callous way he has behaved. But all these threats of violence/pondering cunning ways to make him pay via tampered with foodstuffs - it just makes the poster seem hysterical and excited by the whole thing. WHereas the op has been amazingly together and strong given the circs.

I wish you all the best op, I really do. I just think that your best bet is to get ace legal advice and to go inwards almost - be good and kind to yourself, ignore the twunt, believe in your own strength and instincts.

Sorry everyone, sorry Mumsnet HQ. Very sorry.

Oh my first deleted message! What did I say?

Oh bugger Lou,I missed whatever contentious thing you said...

Eh?? When did I marry a policeman?? My DH is a plumber!!

Portofino, you're wrong, my DH and I got a babysitter and went out for a lovely ride on his motorbike in the beautiful evening sunshine. While we were out, we tried to do a good turn for someone. It didn't go as planned so we shall try again

Ok??

Dublindee, I hear ya

Oh mnhq I didn't mean she was a troll at all I just meant she would keep going on if kept being engaged and isn't helping Lou. Sorry

Dozy, the implication of you post was quite clear.

ooh, my husband's a plumber too.

Me too, I missed it and just for the record:

LOU DID NOT GET ME TO DO ANYTHING - I OFFERED!!!!

It was very rude and aimed at someone in particular. Don't like being called 'fucking insane'.

Re: the over excited posts, they make me smile. I would never do anything silly or daft, I used to be a Librarian FFS! I am a normal sane person who is holding it together as much as I can. Coming on here and ranting and raving is therapy, and reading your posts is wonderful. I'm not going to knock on his door, set a killer dog on him, poison his chutney, nor have I ever said I would. But it is satisfying to talk about it occasionally. That is all.

A lot of my posts have also been about legal advice, work, friends, practicalities,... so it isn't all hysteria.

No I know she isn't a troll actually run. When I first saw the first posts a while ago I thought she might be involved more personally. But obviously that isn't the case and I thought maybe she should be either supportive or back off after voicing her initial concerns

I think it was a different poster who has a policeman husband who told her how to follow someone rather than actually going along with her (she and a friend who had a horrid dh with double life I thnk).

I'd be ery concerned at the attempts by amateurs to hunt him down being construed as harassment if twunt found out.

And I was probably being a bit mean after she called the op 'mad' especially since I work with/ have a child with SN. Hit me a bit hard that she would use that as an insult.

But anyway. Sorry it didn't work out Lou

I would imagine Babylon discovered what we already knew in our hearts - Chuntney is at daily meetings of CA - Chutney Anonymous.

Sorry the attempt by Babylon didn't work out :( It was definitely worth a try.

I do wonder that, given that you both work in academia you haven't yet heard on the grapevine who OW is? especially if she's a PhD student? Having worked in academia, it's normally a hotbed of gossip. Is it worth asking your work colleagues to do a bit of noseying around?