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Original poster

Would you sleep with a married man?

139 replies

MightNeverHappen · 19/08/2012 09:24

Just wondering. I haven't btw. The opportunity has arisen where I have the chance to. He is an old friend, I have never met his wife. They have no kids.

I'm probably not going to do it. It seems a lot to risk for just some sex. All I want is a friends with benefits situation, and I am not interested in a relationship with this man. Just happen to know we have great sex together.

Have you ever slept with a married man?

OP posts:
ErikNorseman · 19/08/2012 09:28

Now? No fucking way.
I slept with an ex when I was younger even though he had a gf. That gf is now his wife with 2 kids. I was jealous and immature and selfish.
If you want casual sex then find it with a single man. Don't be the other woman, it just makes you a dick.

twinkerbell · 19/08/2012 09:32

if you know all you want is causal sex then find someone single who wants the same....Id only ever get involved with a married man if I thought we both had a future and it was worth the pain it would cause...definately not just for sex, think of the poor wife

MonaLotte · 19/08/2012 09:32

Never. I couldn't enjoy myself without thinking of the poor wife that was being cheated on.

BelleTheOlympicBeatnik · 19/08/2012 09:33

To anser the title. Unless he's married to ME, no.

Please don't do it, OP.

It's really not worth it. You haven't met his wife, but remember she's still a person - think about what your actions would do to this woman you've never even met?

You may only want something casual, you may not get hurt. But someone inetivably will.

TheCunningStunt · 19/08/2012 09:34

Erm no.

fuzzywuzzy · 19/08/2012 09:35

no

Original poster
MightNeverHappen · 19/08/2012 09:40

I know, I can't believe I actually am considering it.

I slept with him when she was his gf, although I didn't know he had a gf at the time, then they got engaged and I became aware of her, so I told him I would no longer sleep with him.

I guess I never felt that guilty because I know he was also sleeping with lots of other women, and I believe still is. If I think about his poor wife though it breaks my heart :( She has been cheated on since day 1 with him, and its only because he is a friend I have known for years and years that I have not told him to eff off.

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 19/08/2012 09:49

Give yourself the gift of self respect and tell him now to f off out of your life permanently. He has been and is actually no real friend of yours and such types actually stop you from meeting someone who is actually worthy of you. You are also actually stopping yourself from meeting someone else. BTW is he a lot older than you?.

Also what did you yourself learn about relationships when growing up, what examples were you set?. You do not have to answer that but thinking about that is well worth your time.

twinkerbell · 19/08/2012 09:50

arsehole....I know men like that, they are weak, theyre clearly not happy but don't have the balls to leave and let the poor woman go, so they just humiliate her, what a twat

Looksgoodingravy · 19/08/2012 09:50

It can't break your heart that much thinking about his 'poor wife' if you're even considering sleeping with her husband!

TheCunningStunt · 19/08/2012 09:52

He sounds like a real catchHmm. If you are his friend, why on earth have you said nothing about his continual cheating? I actually can't believe this is even for real tbh

lollystix · 19/08/2012 09:58

He sounds like a total tool...do you really want to be another notch on his bedpost. You stopped it before when you found out he had a gf (her). Why is it different now she is his wife. Pity her and walk away for your own self respect.

HecateHarshPants · 19/08/2012 10:49

No way.

I would be destroyed if my husband screwed someone. I would not be part of doing that to someone else. I could not be part of causing such pain to someone. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror.

Original poster
MightNeverHappen · 19/08/2012 10:52

This is for real!

I know its sounds ridiculous.. I have said nothing because everybody knows he has been cheating, except his wife. Well, she may know, who knows. None of his closer friends have said anything, maybe I don't know the whole story. I only know of the other woman because closer friends of his have told me (I am also friends with them).

Its a fucked up situation for his wife yes, but I don't think it depends on me to tell her.

Granted I shouldn't sleep with him. I have no problem being a 'notch on his bedpost' though, because thats all I want him for, its a mutual thing.

OP posts:
janey68 · 19/08/2012 11:03

This may come across as really patronising but I GENUINELY dont mean to be.
You sound really desperate for sex. For good sex (which you know this man can deliver)
Nothing wrong with that.
But the only right thing to do in these situations is find someone else in the same position as you- single, not interested in emotional stuff, purely wanting the physical act of sex.
If you can't find that, are there other ways that you can diminish the urge, or satisfy it? Taking up running or swimming, doing something which gives you an adrenalin high? Or treating yourself to a really good massage? Or a rabbit?

I really don't mean to sound patronising (or flippant) but what you want is a physical experience, and you may find that getting an outlet in other ways makes the urge easier to manage

I am not against the whole friends with benefits thing btw, this is not a moral stance. It's just that as you are discovering, it's rare to find someone who is equally matched with you. It would be totally wrong to enter it with someone who is attached.

MrsJREwing · 19/08/2012 11:07

Never have, never will. Have no respect for anyone that does either.

MissBoPeep · 19/08/2012 11:11

I am struggling with how you have the audacity to ask here when ever other thread is from women who have found out, or think, their partners are having an affair.

You seem to imply that just because other women are happy to have sex with this man, that makes it kind-of okay for you to join in?

How can you possibly even think of this? Don't you think he's scum for treating his wife in this way?

If you just want someone to be a notch on your bed post, then find that man. A single man.

Dating sites seem the best option- Plenty of Fish from what other poor women here say .

But hollow sex doesn't hold much appeal long term.

frustratedpants · 19/08/2012 11:15

Don't do it. Walk away now. It is under no circumstances "friends with benefits" if he is married. It is an affair. Don't be that bitch other woman.

JasperMama · 19/08/2012 11:16

Yes, but only the married man who has my ring on his finger... Or at a swinger party where there were more than 2 of us.

Beckamaw · 19/08/2012 11:19

I have friends who waste their time, and lose their self-respect through banging married men.
Then they moan constantly about the fact that they have no children/ cannot hold down relationships.
I just think Hmm

Bossybritches22 · 19/08/2012 11:22

OP you are worth more than what this serial shagger can give you strings or no.

Just read a few of the miserable threads in this section to get an idea of what its like for the wife, & go & find an unattached man.

It appalls me that a woman can knowingly do this to another woman.

BuntCadger · 19/08/2012 11:23

SoupDragon · 19/08/2012 11:25

I wouldn't because I'm not a nasty bitch. Are you?

MrsJREwing · 19/08/2012 11:27

Bunt how did you do that?

DilysPrice · 19/08/2012 11:35

He sounds like a nasty piece of work. Regardless of his wife (his sin not yours, and you are, as you pointed out, just one amongst many) how could you snog someone so unpleasant. There isn't a thick enough condom in the world.

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