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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I found a list in my husbands pocket

601 replies

InSearchOfSunrise · 10/08/2012 20:51

I've posted before about our difficult situation, relationship breaking down etc.

I just found a list in my husbands pocket with all our worldly possessions in a column, prices, and buyers. The buyers were all his family.

I feel sick to my stomach. Those were things we bought together. How can he compile such a list and how can his family be scavenging for bargains when our family is falling apart?

Feel sick and don't know what to do. Can he do this? I'm having images of his family just walking in and picking up my things and walking out with them, and me not being able to stop them, with a six month pregnancy and a 3 year old watching as her things are carted away for peanuts.

Please someone help Sad

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 11/08/2012 13:48

Please ring WA and do not allow him to take your daughter out of the house or leave him there with her alone. This man has been physically abusive to you, verbally abusive, has screwed up your money and spoken about harming himself. He is not safe for your dd to be around at the moment. Speak to Womens Aid or a friend or anybody who can help you get out. Whatever else you do DO NOT allow him to take your dd away from you, no matter what he says keep her with you. Even if he says he will take her to the park or the shops, whatever, kee her with you.

whatthewhatthebleep · 11/08/2012 14:21

life begins ...they do have grounds to do things this way...the police wouldn't stop them if they can prove notices and warnings and the date was given...this is a lawful way to act and perhaps it happens this way more often than you could guess...
there are other more time consuming ways obviously but that is only if the tenant has taken it to a court to apply for more time, etc for good reason, etc

Eviction is noticed to tenant...after that the date can be acted on and the landlord can re-posses.....just as bailiffs can turn up to remove valuables to pay for debts, etc....it happens all the time to people

If you never open the door...they have trouble getting in to re-posses without the police supporting gaining access...they can do this too....what do you think Council's do on a regular basis....???

It can happen this way...believe me!!....maybe it depends what kind of company, etc you are dealing with too....but this is legal if all notices have been served and explained....

TheSilverPussycat · 11/08/2012 15:12

I would say report the slap to police. If you then become homeless you should be a priority for council rehousing as you are vulnerable. (Used to work for CAB but am well out of date, so would double check this)

LordOfThe5Rings · 11/08/2012 15:28

I hope you have spoke to WA, OP.

Always a hand to hold in Devon x

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 11/08/2012 15:28

Hello lovely, Shelter have a helpline that's open during the week 0808 800 4444, they can help you with your housing issue.

Original poster
InSearchOfSunrise · 11/08/2012 15:38

Thanks everyone for advice and replies.

Can someone still clarify what actually happens when you're evicted? Where are you expected to go immediately after with the things you leave with and a child?

Are you expected to sleep on the street, with a relative/friend, what?

OP posts:
Original poster
InSearchOfSunrise · 11/08/2012 15:43

Thank you sunny, I'll give them a call on Monday. x

OP posts:
TheSilverPussycat · 11/08/2012 15:49

I would say apply to the council before you are evicted. But WA will be able to advise.

sadwidow28 · 11/08/2012 15:55

Put WA and Shelter in your mobile phone NOW!

You need to be proactive here and be able to call on help if something happens before Monday. The numbers are still there for you if you choose to stay until Monday.

You need an exit plan.

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 11/08/2012 16:05

Once you are evicted, you are homeless. So if you've nowhere to go, then yes, this would mean the streets.

Please don't wait til Monday. Ring women's aid.

PeshwariNaan · 11/08/2012 16:23

sunrise, I am actually scared for you. The fact that he's admitted he's suicidal, we know he's violent, his hollow laughing, the planning - I'm afraid he might crack and take it out on you and DD. Depressed/ hopeless/ violent men are not safe to be around.

If I were you, I'd get out to a shelter with my DD ASAP and get your family on side as quickly as possible.

altinkum · 11/08/2012 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
InSearchOfSunrise · 11/08/2012 17:01

I'm bleeding lightly and have pains.

I've rang hospital.

OP posts:
Lucyellensmum99 · 11/08/2012 17:04

WTF? are you OK? do you need to ring the police? if so, do that now, please xxxxx

Original poster
InSearchOfSunrise · 11/08/2012 17:06

Lucyellens - I'm 24 weeks pregnant. Husband has been at work all day. Dd with me.

OP posts:
tribpot · 11/08/2012 17:08

Sunrise, I assume this is related to the pregnancy and not because he has assaulted you again - but you must go and be checked out and you really must be honest with them about the physical and mental stress you've been under.

threeleftfeet · 11/08/2012 17:09

Shelter www.shelter.org.uk/ give excellent advice about eviction and your rights to housing.

It can take ages to get through to their helpline, but do persevere, they give great advice, and you need to know where you stand.

The council have a duty to house certain families who are evicted, they may have a duty to house you perhaps.

Please don't doubt your ability to provide for your DD. What she needs more than any possessions is her mum.

threeleftfeet · 11/08/2012 17:11

Although like the others say i wouldn't wait around till you're evicted. Women's Aid can help get you into a hostel. Tell them what you've told us!

My friend was in a hostel for a while, and it was actually a nice place, not what she'd imagined at all!

izzyizin · 11/08/2012 17:12

Either drive yourself and your dd to the nearest A&E or call an ambulance and take your dd with you to the hospital.

When you are at the hospital you can explain why you do not consider it safe for your dd to be left alone with your h and you can have your concerns about his mental health and behaviour logged.

Offred · 11/08/2012 17:22

If it is light browny pink bleeding it may just be hormonal but you would be wise to call the midwife to check.

Original poster
InSearchOfSunrise · 11/08/2012 17:29

I've spoken to the midwife and have been advised to rest and take paracetamol. DD is having a picnic in her book corner. I think it will stop hopefully. It's not a new thing, I've bled throughout my pregnancy.

OP posts:
Portofino · 11/08/2012 17:30

Oh blimey! What did the hospital say? You should definitely go to get checked out. Your health and that of the baby is more important than all the other shit. It can be dealt with, but you need to sort this first.

greenwichgroove · 11/08/2012 17:46

Sunrise my friend works for housing. I asked her and she said as a person with a young child you would be classed as vulnerable and emergency housed, probably in a b and b or emergency flats depending on the area. You will not end up on streets. Shelter, womans aid etc will all help. Social service too. She says people have walked in to council offices with children and bags.

greenwichgroove · 11/08/2012 17:51

If you stay in past your notice they have to take you to court to evict you.

greenwichgroove · 11/08/2012 17:54

I'm north west at moment and also willing to help if you are anywhere near.