I found a list in my husbands pocket

[InSearchOfSunrise]

I've posted before about our difficult situation, relationship breaking down etc.

I just found a list in my husbands pocket with all our worldly possessions in a column, prices, and buyers. The buyers were all his family.

I feel sick to my stomach. Those were things we bought together. How can he compile such a list and how can his family be scavenging for bargains when our family is falling apart?

Feel sick and don't know what to do. Can he do this? I'm having images of his family just walking in and picking up my things and walking out with them, and me not being able to stop them, with a six month pregnancy and a 3 year old watching as her things are carted away for peanuts.

Please someone help

Yes that is what my situation was. My sons father was living in the house but we were not together so living as housemates and he was not giving me money financially.

I could not claim income support and full rate tax credit until either myself or himself moved out officially.

But as you said English is probably different too Scottish and I have no knowledge about English systems!

But of course OP should phone and try and get any help financially she can and I would be delighted to be incorrect in this instance.

Thinking of you OP!

Ive done loads of phoning around.

I rang:

CAB
turn2us (benefit info)
Shelter

All three places have said you can't actually claim anything until he moves out.

Shelter were very good and advised me on the whole notice/eviction/homelessness topic in thorough detail. I was on the phone to someone very patient for an hour.

He's advised me to stay put, and see through the whole eviction procedure. When there are 28 days left for the notice to expire, I should put in a homeless application and update the person who is dealing with my already existing housing application.

The midwife was ok I guess. I'm going in tomorrow to speak to them and also to see the DV advisor.

Husband said to let him know if the tenancy cannot be amended to just my name. I'm assuming he'll be paying the whole rent now - because I'm not! Shelter
Said you won't be found intentionally homeless if you couldn't afford to pay the rent.

[Applauds]

Am liking the gung-ho Sunshine

Argh! Sunrise, no idea where the sunshine came from!

Hello Sunrise, you sound great today. Well done for phoning round. xx

Husband said he's moving out in a couple of days.
He's really going?

Please come and hold my hand someone. I'm having a massive full blown panic attack

Here's a hand Sunrise. And an un-MN hug. xxx

You will get through this. Can someone come round and give you support? Panic attacks aren't good at all. Are you going dizzy? Chest tight? Not nice I know but keep breathing steadily. And keep talking on here x

I don't want him to go.

How will I do the whole labour birth thing without him.

It's going to feel like shit for a while, but you will get through this.

Mine has just gone, although not quite finished taking his stuff. After a year of looking forward to this, I am in a v weird state, like a trance. But I am trusting this will pass. I hope this doesn't sound me me me, it is the little I can offer in terms of fellow feeling.

You will manage, you will cope, focus on the here and now, just existing, for the time being. All love x

He was supposed to be looking after me and dd in this situation.
I'm carrying his baby. He begged for this baby. Why is he throwing us away??

Try and think about the positives -

You can have the house to yourself and dong have to worry about him coming in swearing/causing fights.

Your daughter will not be in a hostile environment.

You can organise things so you and dd are in a stable secure environment when baby's comes.

You can start claiming benefits the day he moves out. Do you work?

You are free of a good for nothing man who is nothing more than a coward.

You will do this OP and you will look back on this and realise how strong and brave you have been. He is not worthy of you!

Pussycat - has he just gone today? Do you have dc?
I have a close friend nearby who's house I'll be staying at tonight.
But what will do for the rest of my life?
He was my first love. He was my everything.

But I'm a wreck, I'm constantly crying.

I just went to the bedroom to cry and dd came running after she heard my sobs and burst in to tears saying please don't cry mummy, you were happy today and if you cry then I'm going to cry too.

Don't worry too much about the rest of your life, Sunrise. Just take it one hour at a time. One foot in front of the other. xxx

Kids are grown, DD is going to live with him. I have been the victim of EA for many a long year, but could not, would not, see it. It caused my mh problems, which he has used against me For too long I thought that the pain in my heart associated with him meant that I loved him Whoever I loved, it wasn't the man who refused to work and lived off my money and never cleaned around the house.

I will stop before I go into even more of a rant mode.

OP your post has evolved from confusion to shock, fear, sadness, anger, acceptance and then become the epitomy of courage. You are amazing. A role model for others too. You do NOT want him at the birth. How about asking your good friend to be your BP - you'll get far more support. Don't lose it now. You've come so far. We're ALL here for you. x

No chocolate I just want my husband back, the one who loved me and was a devoted father and husband. I want him back I want him back.