The Brave Babes Battle Bus - All Going On A Sober Holiday! <crosses fingers that it stays sunny>

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, mouse

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus, grab yourself a seat, they're really comfy and a , oh and a home-made chocolate chip before they all get eaten!

We're a Bus full of alcohol abusers/addicts, some of us say it out loud, some whisper it and some aren't ready to say it at all just yet.

That said, there are a few of us who just have the occasional drink and that's something that they can handle. There are a few of us who must NEVER have another drink because that first one will lead to many, many more which will only ever end badly.

We're open to all....there are no requirements to join us on our journey to sobriety, there's support, great laughs, tears and tantrums here and that's just me!!!

If you'd like to see how we got here, follow THIS LINK

Yay! It's Faire's fantastic Forge Ahead Friday . Last day of the working week, and anticipation of an evening of true relaxation: some fresh sparkling soda mixed with freshly squeezed lime, a lovely light, tasty nutritious dinner (probably tom-yum soup with lemon grass, corriander, noodles and prawns and a little hit of chilli. Then a nice evening stroll with dp, and a return to a nice cup of tea and a teeny-weeny piece of chocolate (or maybe several).

What a great start to a weekend. A weekend when I can choose to wake up bright - well OK, probably not that bright and bouncy, but at least not miserable; a weekend where I can get on with things I want to do, or take things easy; a weekend from which I can emerge feeling OK about things - Ok about myself, OK about life, OK about not having had anything to drink.

Or I could choose Fuck it up Friday, in which I start planning now how I will get enough alcohol in to make sure I have 'enough', I could get irritated and belligerent with dp, I'd eat something greasy and horrid. I could wake tomorrow feeling shite, and then waste the whole day feeling mentally and physically drained, only to 'pick myself up' with another drink....

I know today which one I'd rather choose, so I'm off to the shops to get fresh limes and the ingredients for lovely Thai food. See you later babes xx

Morning everyone and thanks for Forge Ahead Friday Faire

High 5 to you obrigada Day 12 ..yay!

venus thank you. You sum up perfectly a "dilemma' I have had every Friday for a very long time. Only I thought I didn't have a choice,...but I DO!!

Still unsure about Saturdays (I have been having a few drinks on a Sat only for three weeks now) and maybe I have transfered that dilemma to a Sat night ? But ..I'm choosing Forge Ahead Friday for sure.

kotinka I've had 2 loads of blood tests, including thyroid I think. All come back normal. GP1 thinks its CFS/ME; GP2 thinks its Vitamin D deficiency. It could just be old age maybe?!

Not often I get the urge to start drinking at 10am, but I feel shite. After working hard this week to get most of my actions done, boss came in this morning and spent 15 minutes berating me for not completeing the appraisal form correctly.

I then spent 15 minutes in the toilet crying (not very mature for a 40-something year old, eh) I honestly feel like just walking out.

Thanks Leli, Forge Ahead Friday it is for me too, after all it is just another day and Venus summed it up perfectly.
Joey, have you been working in your job long? Do you think it's personal they way your boss is treating you? Sounds a lot like bullying to me.

Is this toooo pathetic?

Sorry for not completing the appraisal form in time. In your email of 2nd August, you only mentioned page 4 and I have already given my reason for not including evidence for that. Also you did originally say I only needed to complete parts I felt were relevant.

I have been working hard to achieve all the actions on my Work Plan, as well as the Performance & Capability Procedure. I asked you a few weeks ago not to take on any more work for reasons to do with my health. Despite this you insisted I attend the Branding Meeting which now requires more actions. I really don?t feel I can do any more for you. The packing up of the heavy books has left me feeling unwell and now I feel harrassed about the appraisal forms.

I will be going home today after xxx. I have to attend a GP appointment on Thursday for confirmation of his diagnosis. If I am not back at work by then, I will let you know the outcome.

obrigada no I don't think its personal, but she doesn't allow any mistakes/ill-health etc. Also she worries she'll get into trouble from her manager if we don't perform...

Joey she worries she'll get into trouble from her manager if we don't perform

That is her responsibility, not yours. She is paid to manage and she's not doing it very well.

You are not alone here, it's a common problem, managers pushing too big a workload onto individuals. If it's too much for one person then they should hire more staff. The more we pretend that we can cope, the more they will expect us to!

I wouldn't send the above message actually, just because you do not have to explain yourself like this. If you feel you need to leave because of your health, just say you are going to the GP because you feel unwell and get them to sign you off for as long as you/they think you need.

You could also ask your GP to refer you for CBT. They do Assertiveness in the Workplace counselling and it's very good (dh has done it - his boss is a nightmare too - and it's helped him enormously).

Don't let it drive you to drink, come back here instead x

The more we pretend that we can cope, the more they will expect us to!

Those words really resonated with me Faire, due to my colleagues illness more and more work is being piled on me, with no acknowledgement or recognition or even a pay rise (and believe me I could do with one, wages I am on are shit).

Joey, I agree with Faire, don't send that e-mail, go to the doc and get signed off for however long it takes for you to feel up to returning to work, far too much pressure being put on you at your workplace, how do you have time to do any work with filling in all those other forms?

Thanks faire I didn't send the email, just writing it down made me feel calmer.

And she's postponed the appraisal because I hadn't completed the paperwork in time. Which is good because I should complete most of my actions by then. I just hope she hasn't got any more criticisms.... I don't feel ill, just overwhelmed and keep bursting into tears.

Luckily I have never been a daytime drinker, although am popping the codeine like smarties.

Feeling overwhelmed and 'stressed' is a form of illness Joey just as valid as a broken leg or anything else that would hinder your ability to work. Managers have a duty of care to their employees.

she doesn't allow any mistakes/ill-health - this doesn't make sense Joey.

Firstly, everyone makes mistakes but we all try to put procedures in place that minimise that risk. Piling work and stress on individuals will just increase the chance of mistakes being made so that is counter-productive and poor management.

Secondly, people get ill. Whether she 'allows' it or not, it is going to happen. Again, putting pressure on individuals is more likely to cause stress related illness which can manifest itself physically, mentally, or both.

It really is her responsibility to sort this out in an appropriate way.

Maybe your undiagnosed physical symptoms are actually caused by stress, rather than vitamin deficiency etc? The only way to be sure is to keep going back to the GP and give them the full background.

afternoon

i'm keeping busy at the minute (or trying to learn to keep busy) with simultaneous stuff that needs doing - i have programme stuff to do for the drinking, i'm reading a non fiction book per week that will help for my masters and doing physical practical diy type stuff to do with sorting the house. i am thinking if i can do a bit towards each of those projects every day, plus not drink and be a half decent mother then i'm doing alright i don't set the bar too high

sounds pathetic but i need to learn self discipline and productiveness. skills i've lost along the way.

can't do much towards the house today with child and dogs running around but i can maybe do some glossing once ds is in bed and the dogs are settled down for the night. this afternoon is for reading and programme stuff (have a task from my sponsor to complete) and taking the boy and dogs for a walk.

fair play to the people who live in the world of full time work, raising children and running a house - seriously give yourselves a massive pat on the back! when we're doing it all we often don't give ourselves credit for how much we're getting done and holding together. when it all goes to shit when you get ill or something you realise just how much you were managing before it caved in. i'm in the stage of having to relearn to manage lots i guess but want to learn to be able to do it without crashing into cfs burnout or depression this time and without using alcohol to drown myself out.

sorry for waffle. feel a bit odd posting about this stuff but this is part of the non drinking journey for me of getting my life back itms. am learning it really, really isn't just about the drinking a lot of it is about sorting the stuff that you were drinking for/over/about and facing up to the stuff that the drinking helped you avoid.

have a good day everyone x

Hey Babes , is Fire here, who managed to do a spectacular nosedive off the bus and into the sidecar. Spectacular not so much in terms of volume consumed but how easily the idea/ craving/ justifications grabbed me on the way home from a sporting event and took over at the tail end of day 2. I had two drinks only that night then back to about 8 a day for about a week and now I am back at the tail end of day 2 again, phew. This time I can't falter cos I have the meds on board.

joey sorry you are feeling low and your boss is a prize plonker. Amazing how many managers don't realise that piling more and more pressure on people is only counter productive. Lots of great babe advice on here so I hope you feel supported by that.

saf you sound very productive and I love: am learning it really, really isn't just about the drinking a lot of it is about sorting the stuff that you were drinking for/over/about and facing up to the stuff that the drinking helped you avoid.

p.s. Hey koti how are you doing today?

Hello Fire

Reposting from Chat in a bit of a flap! ...after almost 4 years of sobriety I had a glass of wine last week just to test myself doh! and since then i've had small amounts of alcohol daily (between 1 -2 small glasses). I know alcohol and me don't mix (I like it too much ) and I really don't want to go back to the levels of drinking I was on pre-children. Above all I feel so disappointed in myself I was so proud of my achievement but now its all gone to shit HELP!

koti yeah kids can be sooo surprising sometimes eh? I'm good thanks..Busy week at work but winding down for the w/e. Weather is AWFUL! Monsoon here so no outdoor stuff this evening. My DD's are with me tonight for a week so will have a good laugh and a nice meal with them.

Tena Hi there ..wow 4 years sober ..big respect to you. It must be pretty scary to pick up after all that time but if you don't want to do it...you don't have to. Sorry if that sounds really flippant but what occurs to me is:

-You have been sober for 4 years so have amazing strength and can stay off it.

-You tested yourself and it doesn't sound like you are happy with the result but you have have learnt something important from it.

-The achievement you have made is still there. You have been sober for 4 years and you can go back there...right now if you want to.

-The danger is that you wipe away all that achievement (in your head) and say fuck it ..I may as well go back to what I was drinking.

-It hasn't all gone to shit if you make the right choice for you now.

Kontika, Lolli - thank you so much :) I don't want to drink but I do want to find some inner peace and strength which I feel is missing at the moment. Thank you for your kind words. I have to go and pick DS1 up from his holiday club (on foot thank goodness) in a moment (sorry to post and dash in a panic) but I hope to return to the bus very soon! :)

they call it a moment of madness in aa tena - as in that's all it takes. sounds like you know that alcohol and you don't mix even if disaster hasn't struck yet. seems like it has already stolen your peace of mind though.

how did you stop the first time - did you go to aa or anywhere or do it on will power or?? what made you stop? do you consider yourself an alcoholic? sorry question hour!

pesky kids inundation on and off all day here. will be SO glad to see the end of the summer holidays. roll on 5th of september.

Signing off now for the weekend (no internet at home), wishing everyone a safe weekend and see you all on Monday:)

Evening all

Just popping in to see how everyone is and there's no-one around! Hope that means no major dramas, wobbles, panic stations, etc.

Tena well done on 4 years, that's amazing, you must have experienced loads of benefits of not drinking? Try not to worry about this 'bump' in your journey, you can steer it back to where you want to go. Especially if you hang out with us