The Brave Babes Battle Bus - All Going On A Sober Holiday! <crosses fingers that it stays sunny>

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, mouse

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus, grab yourself a seat, they're really comfy and a , oh and a home-made chocolate chip before they all get eaten!

We're a Bus full of alcohol abusers/addicts, some of us say it out loud, some whisper it and some aren't ready to say it at all just yet.

That said, there are a few of us who just have the occasional drink and that's something that they can handle. There are a few of us who must NEVER have another drink because that first one will lead to many, many more which will only ever end badly.

We're open to all....there are no requirements to join us on our journey to sobriety, there's support, great laughs, tears and tantrums here and that's just me!!!

If you'd like to see how we got here, follow THIS LINK

buddy it honestly doesn't feel like day 200 - i'm sure everyone whose made it to day 200 will attest to it feeling great and definitely a hell of a lot better than day 2. it really does get easier

ds had a lovely time at the playscheme and i spent the day pottering doing a bit of cleaning, baking a cake, doing some personal grooming type stuff and general fannying about. it was much needed

i'm hoping to get an early night and a good dose of sleep ready to face the weekend.

take care everyone x

venus - feel free lovely lady..... sometimes, I'm too quick to blame others for feelings that I have manufactured myself. Sometimes, it's a good thing to pick apart the knots in the middle and throw away the broken threads......

Faire - you are a totally new person and I'm loving what I read from you. Your posts are fab xx

Koti - A Pain Buddy it is then. I'm going to see my GP next week so will let you know what her longer term plan will be. And I guess mine too.

Obrigada - Let. It. Out. Now, in an hour, in two hours..... just get yourself comfy and start to type. Don't read it back, just post. I think I understand where you will go with your posts, that you're not feeling valued, needed? Do you feel as though you're life has no meaning just now but you're not sure why?

We're all here because we have a need to be needed, listened to, understood, helped. We're all here because in one way or another, the Brave Babes Battle Bus helps.

Keep going lovely xx

I'm going to go and try to eat something. I still feel sick and raw.

Stay Brave Babes, those who have resisted thus far, nice one! It's not worth it now anyway, it's almost 9pm so why bother?

Goodnight all, thank you for your support as always. xxxx

You are so strong mouse. Much love to you, nemo and your family. Am so humbled by this thread. Btw-day 4!

mouse brought tears to my eyes reading your post. I've just put my youngest to bed. Off to give my older boy a big hug.

mouse that must pierce your heart so much to have to do that. I thought I'd read somewhere that it should not always be the same person who has to do the 'bad' things to their child, you should take it in turns? Is that not possible? Hopefully it won't be for too much longer...

Tonight we were out with friends and they ordered a bottle of Pinot Grigio (my favourite) and.... I didn't have any! I don't even know why, it was a perfectly acceptable situation. I just knew that one glass, early in the evening, would trigger every craving and make me feel dehydrated and irritable.

Fennel tea for me (no it doesn't taste like cat's pee, although it does have a whiff of baby gripe water...)

mouse I can almost feel your pain. Our childrens pain is one of the hardest things to bear. You are brave and strong and so is Nemo. I hope you can focus on that day when Nemo no longer needs the tubes. Thinking of you hugsxxx

Well done Joey on resisting the temptation! I hope you get some r&r during your time off and have a lovely time at the spa.

Mouse such heart-rending and brave posts from you at the moment. Wish there was something I could do to ease your and Nemo's pain. Wishing Seth a complete and speedy nasal recovery and hope your DD isn't too badly affected by what's happened with her sister and her arse of a father.

Theresafire you asked way upthread what herbs I'm taking - sorry I missed that question. I take quite a mixture of tinctures that I vary according to how I'm feeling but always include Vitex agnus-castus, Angelica sinensis (for endometriosis), Carduus marianus, Schizandra chinensis (to help my beleagured liver) and often include Astragalus membranaceous (immunostimulant and tonic) Panax ginseng or Eleutherococcus senticosus (tonics), Crataegus spp. (cardiac and circulatory tonic) and others. If you want to take herbal medicine I'd recommend seeing a herbalist in your area. Let me know if you'd like more info.

This thread is such an inspiring place at the moment. Venus and Faire you are on your usual wise and wonderful form, and especially identifying tpwith the control freak thing. Lots of other insightful and honest posts too. I know I'm not contributing much at the moment but I'm still reading and cheering you all on.

Obrigada I find it difficult to put into words how I feel when I'm in the midst of that feeling, but am much more articulate about it once I'm through it a bit, if that makes any sense. Also, although I don't feel like I can find the words, when I look back I did express myself, and I think you are too - your pain and frustration are coming through in your posts. Keep posting and drawing on the support of the wonderful women here. X

evening all,
I'm afraid I haven't read the whole thread
I've though about you lot often but I haven't been able to find you
I'll admit I didn't look very hard

not sure what to say tbh

on the 5th of July I had to take antibiotics for a dental abscess so couldn't drink for 5 days

the first three days I was just waiting of the day I could have a drink

then I had to leave early to go to cornwall the day after I could have a drink so didn't cause i didn't want to be hungover

then cornwall was hell as my mum is deteriorationg fast with alzheimers and I just cried on the phone to dp and heard myself saying drinking isn't gonna help fuck all
I need to be strong for the girls and my dad

I didnt drink a thing

I had a massive panic attack when I got off the train home at the station dont know where it came from and since I've been home (19th july) I've been strugglung with low to moderate bouts of anxiety

I'm going to start my ads again to help with that

I haven't had a single drink since the 4th of July

and now I've got some sort of panic about drinking that it'll make my panic worse or I'll get ill

all things I've never felt before and probably are silly but I'll stay with it tbh

I haven't had a single drink since the 4th of July (I'll say it again)

Its not bothering me

waste of money, time, energy, makes me fat

dont want to

getting more stuff done
doing more with the kids
Lost 1/2 a stone

not sure what has happened to me but I'm not looking back

Tpwith? With.

I love fennel tea.

Mouse a small slither of comfort for you. How much past pain do we remember? Even the memories of childbirth fade enough for some of us to do it more than once. I realises he knows it is going to be a horrid experience but once you get rid of the tube for good, those memories will fade.

He is so little and vulnerable but you are showing him how to be brave and strong. His happy memories will outweigh those painful ones 10,000 to 1 easily.

It probably hurts you more than it hurts him but you don't need me to tell you that he is one special little lad, who will love you forever x

trinity well done for staying with it even though you feel so anxious and panicky. I've found that I use alcohol to numb feelings - are you anxious because you are having to deal with things (eg. your mum) without a drink to take the edge off?

It sounds as though you were pushed into not drinking, but you've still stuck with it and have found loads of good things about it.

Triniteeeeeeeee!!

How fab to hear from you again. 4th of July did you say? Hmm? What was that, 4th of July?

Seriously, it sounds like something has 'clicked' with you. That's what happened with me. It is great not drinking isn't it.

So, it's the 4th of August tomorrow. How painful was it to do one month? Not as bad as you thought it would be? Well obviously the anxiety is difficult but I agree that the ads should help with that. And because you won't be drinking, they will be that much more effective.

Well done you Brave Babe x

Day 1. 11.06pm and I have not had a drink. I am now in bed with a cup of tea.

Night all. I sincerely hope that you have all had a good Friday night, with or without drink xx

day 6 and I haven't had a drink.
Wine still calling but I am going to do
the drill and go to bed.

mrsm well done.
goodnight brave babes xx

Mouse you poor thing having to do Nemo's ngt. It is a tricky thing to do anyway let alone on a child. Try to remember that temporary ngt = better than peg tube. Also that you are not trying to do it under the influence. If the control thong rings true for you aswell as me then you will want to do it yourself rather than risk a stranger hurting him. He will understand when he gets older and will love you no less now!

Trinity always so lovely to see you , and a month, a whole month. Brilliant . Especially when so much has been going on. We all have a choice at these times: a stressful event - deal with it sober, or hide away with a drink; feeling anxious - face it with proper medication and support, or try to numb it with alcohol. You're doing great x

Well done mrsm and rural I'm guessing that however difficult it was last night, this morning you won't regret that you didn't have a drink, and just think what the alternative feeling would have been - not worth it.

Trinity you are so right. I woke this morning feeling very pleased with myself and so happy to not have a hangover. Long may it last.

Oops sorry I mean that last post to be to venues

Mrs M i'm going to go against the flow and say I do think we speak the truth. I think your DD will forgive you properly as she gets older. Maybe the others aren't worth having in your life. People can be ruthless sometimes and then take solace in making it someone elses fault. They may start it but your acting out finishes it and you are then easy to put the blame on. In my situation I was treated like rubbish by people who should have known better. After a couple of drinks I was brave enough to stand up for myself and tell a few home truths, although the added saarcasm and namecalling did little for my case .

Morning fellow babes and how are you all this fine NON hungover morning?

Just been looking online for alcohol free wine. I think it could be a short term solution for me. Not sure if it will work or not because I drink to get drunk and could never understand the logic in having one. If you're not drinking for the effects of alcohol then have diet coke! It's amazing, with that kind of thought in my head why the hell did I wonder why I always drank too much

Anyway, I'm going to give the sainsburys red a try, it's a bit of a novelty at the moment but if it keeps me away from the real thing then who cares.

Stay strong everyone and just keep trying x

theresafire lol love it. Yes you are right! I told then a few home truths but the sarcasm and name calling did little for my case

And yes, if they can't forgive me then they can't have cared too much about me in the first place

Mouse I think what happened with your ex and DD is a blessing in disguise. It hurts now but in the long run it will save you a lot of heartache. The turning pont here is DDs decision not to see him anymore. He sounds like a clusterfuck of the highest order and it can only do you good to not have to expend any energy on him anymore. AND you can do it with a clear conscience. You have fulfilled your duty to maximum capacity in regards to encouraging a positive relationship between DD and bio F. He has brought things to a place where you can go no further and DD has decided that is enough, Bravo DD! As for him spilling your past. Just cos he said something, doesn't make it gospel. You ca, undo, redo, recreate, narrate,or rewrite his statements to suit you and DD and that will be OK cos it's in her best interests. Your lives can only get richer without him in it. Go forth and indulge and enjoy your family. X

I'm now wondering if non-alcoholic wine could delay recovery. Would it be a constant reminder of what you are trying to avoid