The Brave Babes Battle Bus - All Going On A Sober Holiday! <crosses fingers that it stays sunny>

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, mouse

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus, grab yourself a seat, they're really comfy and a , oh and a home-made chocolate chip before they all get eaten!

We're a Bus full of alcohol abusers/addicts, some of us say it out loud, some whisper it and some aren't ready to say it at all just yet.

That said, there are a few of us who just have the occasional drink and that's something that they can handle. There are a few of us who must NEVER have another drink because that first one will lead to many, many more which will only ever end badly.

We're open to all....there are no requirements to join us on our journey to sobriety, there's support, great laughs, tears and tantrums here and that's just me!!!

If you'd like to see how we got here, follow THIS LINK

Morning babes. I did not drink last night though I really wanted to. Very pleased.

kot - that sounds like great progress, how are you feeling? I'm really starting to feel better in my body now, it's good.

rural - don't look so shocked at yourself! Well done, onwards to day 7!

obrigada - I meant to say earlier, I think you're underestimating yourself, I remember you as a great voice of encouragement when I was just starting to get to grips with things over a year ago.

mrsm - I know some people on here would agree non-alc wine and beer doesn't work for them as it is too big a reminder. It works really well for me though. So, FWIW:

I haven't found a totally non-alcoholized wine that's nice. The majority are labelled as under 0.5%. That is the law - if there's a little alcohol, they can't label it as any lower than 0.5%, so they do vary within that, with some being more like 0.2, say. Your body will not process alcohol fast enough at that concentration to get you drunk, but it is possible it'll trigger some kind of reaction and prompt a craving - I expect it depends on you personally, since so much of it is psychological as well as physical.

It is much easier to get totally non-alcoholic beer. IME it always has a slightly sweet, yeasty taste, like a wheat beer. There's a bavarian beer you can get quite easily - it's in Tesco, Sainsbury's and Waitrose near me - that is quite nice, and Becks and Cobra also do alcohol-free larger.

IMO the nicest 0.5% wine is Natureo, by Torres, which is available at Waitrose (I've not found it anywhere else but it's not a Waitrose brand, so you might). Drawback is, it is expensive, not cheaper than ordinary wine.

Just see how you go, really!

Oh, and kopperburg (sp?) do de-alc cider, which I can't stand, but you might.

LRD thanks. Lots of options there.

Hello lovely babes,

Slinking on quietly because I'm back on day one. I didn't get wasted, but I drank. I feel o.k ish about it because at least I had 6 af days and anything at all is better than daily drinking!

I had that ' I've used up all my willpower feeling again', but I didn't really try as hard as I could, to resist. My plan for next week is to hold out for 7 + days, I 'd like to be able to hold out longer but when I set targets for myself I kind of enjoy breaking them in a perverse "Ha! can't make me" kind of way.

One of my big motivations for joining the bus is that I want to stay sober for longer than 5 or 6 days at a time. That sounds really bad: I don't mean that I'm lying in the gutter every evening after 'enders, but I always drink something even if it's just one glass. Actually, seeing that in print might help me reflect and change my habits.

I'm amazed and a little humbled at the strength and wisdom of the babes.

Venus , thanks, I have googled twice one says nothing about drinking before commencing antabuse and the other says no drink for 12hrs prior to first dose. I should be ok, 3 days till DDay for me. Very succinct post you madde earlier comparing a half glass with seven glasses. LRD medievil(sp) studies sounds interesting and hard . Mia thanks for that herbal info. I have a keen interest in medicinal herbs (no, not that one, anymore) that I hope to indulge more in my new life. Hi Buddy and Robot . Obrigada hi, where does your name come from if I may ask?

just checking in. lovely sunny day for a change but spent most of it doing housework to get ready for visitors next week as the big Silver Anniversary looms ever nearer....

Sorry haven't read all posts but Joey thanks for asking after me. Well, I managed a week with only a couple of drinks. Felt okay, didn't have cravings. However, I have been on the wine every night this week... Hope everyone is ok xxx

greyhound are you getting tired of the merry-go-round yet?

haven't caught up i'm afraid as i've just managed to grab 5 minutes to myself after an interminable amount of time having to actually interact with my child i've played mario karts and just dance on the wii and football in the garden and all sorts. someone give me a badge and a pat on the head please

i refuse to feel guilty for finding this hard work - it is perfectly natural for a 36 year old woman NOT to particularly enjoy doing the things a 5yo boy does.

AND i baked a cake yesterday. i'm the model of motherhood i tell you.

will try and catch up on thread whilst ds has not noticed i've snuck away.

oh and ds's toenail (because i'm sure you're all dying to know) is still on but MUST come off soon as it is hanging onto only about a millimetre of flesh now. hoping a good soak in the bath tonight will see it off.

saf you do deserve a pat on the head, in fact you deserve a medal! You need to have endless patience to play with children (and an ability to endure the most boring games!) Someone has bought my DD a boardgame for her birthday so no doubt she will be begging us to play that with her...

When I was that age I was totally happy in my own world, playing make-believe or reading tons of books... but DD is a social butterfly and needs to have other people around. Can you take a break by watching a film together?

Evening, tis me, mouse

It's not easy, especially when it's just you and your DC want attention or a playmate.

I just wanted to say thanks to you all for the lovely posts following my post about Nemo's tube. It would have been so easy for me to grab a bottle of alcohol and think Fuck It! But I didn't. And I'm pleased about that.

Toady he is a bundle of boingy energy, rushing round, chatting away and saying 'mamma bear help' with just about everything.

Fire - I take it you know your stuff then when it comes to NGs and Pegs? I LOVED your post about XP being a 'clusterfuck of the highest order' That's a new one on me and I laughed out loud reading it! Thank you xx Oh and Obrigada is Portuguese for 'thank you'.

The reason that I change Nemo's tube is because I want to. DH has only ever done it once, maybe twice. He knows what he has to do, but it's just easier and quicker for me to do it. And, we're on our way to it being gone for good anyway.

Trinity - hello! Lovely to see you back and also read that you managed to get through a shitty time without getting wasted.

Hello to Buddy and Robot and everyone else who has posted recently, sorry if I've missed new Babes xx.

Tonight is date night so we're having something from Gok Cooks Chinese. When DH asked his folks for it for his Birthday, his dad thought he wanted Gok Cooks cheese and Googled that!

Can you imagine if he'd 'Google images' it?

Anyway, bye for now. I hope wherever you are tonight, you're safe and feeling strong. Drinking too much sucks the life right out of you, maybe not tonight or tomorrow but in the long run..... it's shit. And so not worth it. xx

saf you do deserve a medal. I am 48 and Ds is 10 so I totally understand!
Right now I want to watch the athletics in peace, I don't give a flying fuck about the respective fire power of various Nerf guns.I love him but wish he would just shut up for five minutes grin

kotinka I usually don't get a hangover, but if I drink after several weeks, or even just a few days, abstaining, I do get one. Which shows I think that we have pushed our bodies into tolerating an abnormal amount...? I have been able to put away large amounts, and wake up the next day just feeling a little bit more tired.

Last weekend I had a hangover for the first time in ages - and actually I was quite glad, it made me think 'This is normal, this is what SHOULD happen' and of course its a self-perpetuating cycle - the less I drink, the more likely I will get a hangover on the days I do have something, which discourages overdoing it, etc.

medals all round for anyone surviving the school holidays without a drink (so far!) DD has a sleepover tonight for her birthday, if they're asleep before midnight it will be a miracle I suspect they have a stash of biscuits and sweets somewhere for the inevitable midnight feast...

Day 2 done and dusted yippee!

Night all x

Mouse I trained as an RN but have been a SAHM for the last ten years. Doing more study now to work as a clinical coder next year. Another reason why I want to learn how to manage the grog. At this rate I can barely get the kids to school at 8 let alone head straight for work after. My DS (nearly 2yo) needs asthma trreatment everytime he gets a virus and he hates it, I have to force it, he cries and screams and I restrain him to do it. I find this easy enough to do, just detach and do it (cos it must be done), soothing words during it then cuddles after. I don't envy you having to do ngt on your baby. But you are the best person to do it. You are his rock. By the way I'm pretty damn impressed with how you cope. You have (in addition to a mountain of hardship physical and emotional) achieved what so many of us here are aiming for. The all elusive 'occassional drink'. I find excuses all the time to start drinking. Some of your probs would be excuse enough for me to 'not stop' drinking. But we all know where that leads and we have 'chosen life'. Bouts of extended drinking are lessons not a way of life I suppose. .

Joey I hope your DD had a lovely birthday, mine will be ten next year and it is so hard to determine tthe level of independence to allow them. Especially if they are smart-mature, because neither of those makes up for streetwise. Saf I groan everytime DS(5) wants me to play lego. I'm much better at going to the beach and playing cloudfinder or to the park. DH is much better at lego playing than me (bad mum), I just buy the stuff. You'd think that would be enough! Babes I am on the lookout for some good new music to do my housework to in my new sober statr in the coning weeks. Can anyone reccommend an album that they really love.

fire
My absolute favorite is Seldom Seen Kid by Elbow. I love every single track which is unusual in an album for me. If you love beautiful and clever lyrics,you'll love this.
Nursing a headache this morning - off the roof rack and back on the bus. No reason other than pure stupidity

ma wish i could like your post about not giving a fuck about the respective firing power of nerf guns! 'mum, mum, what's your favourite ben10 alien... no you're not allowed to pick echo echo....' 'mum, mum, mum, MUM!!! do you know that water hazard can.......and mum, mum, MUMMY!!!....'

god save us.

mouse - glad nemo is back on form - i cross posted with you the other day and didn't see what had happened till i scanned back. i hope the day where he no longer needs tubes comes soon. how's his eating going these days?

ds's toenail is still hanging on by a thread so i can't send him to football practice for an hours peace this morning. getting football socks and tight, hard football boots on would not bode well.

currently in bed drinking coffee in peace whilst he plays mario karts downstairs and trying to think of something to do on a damp sunday that doesn't require a car.

saf an olympic sized medal to you - partly for just being the mum that you are, but also for being honest about how you feel about it. Before I had dc I imagined that I would be a wonderful, gentle, involved mother - spending hours lovingly playing with my (many) children, doing craft activities, involving them in baking, and nurturing their sporting and intellectual talents. And I imagined that I'd have a warm, welcoming home - always full of other people's children, and the smell of fresh baking - oh how every child in the community would love me, and every adolescent would feel able to talk to me freely and honestly. Other mothers would come to my house for friendship and a little haven of peace and acceptance. [ahhh fanciful dream emoticon....]

Reality? I was exhausted, frazzled, bored. Craft activities were a disaster, I hated the dc making a mess in my kitchen. Rather than the rafts of children, it took me 5 years to pluck up courage and energy to have a second dc. Alongside other parents I was like a fish out of water - uncomfortable, shy, and I detested organised activities like playgroups etc. and I relished the few hours when I could go to work and feel like a human being. I love (and did love) my dc deeply, completely and overwhelmingly, but my idealised image of motherhood was nothing like my reality, and I learned a lot about myself. Fortunately both my dc were bookworms who learned to read early and we could pass long periods of time reading together.

Morning babes,

mouse hope that a brighter future is just around the corner for you, feeding tube free and perhaps pain free eventually too. Hope so anyway.

venus Oh yes, pre ds I imagined a beautiful home filled with wooden, educational type toys. My genius child would play quietly and gently, reaching all those early learning goals well before the usual time.
Reality? I'll just wade through a mound of plastic trains/ bricks/ Tidmouth sheds /crapola in an attempt to find the floor. Ahem.I'm hoping that DS will be a bookworm too but he's only 2 3/4 so we have a loooooong way to go ...

I have to confess that I can stand approx 2 mins of playing with trains before I need to escape. And I don't want a medal for small child stuff, oh no, I'd like a quid every time I hear this : mummy! mummy!mummy! mummmmmmeeeeee! sigh.

Day 2 today-have a lovely sunday babes.

SAF that's exactly what it is - a merry go round. Awful thing is, I'm not tired of it. My bipolar has been playing up a bit and that doesn't help...

I actually found a lot of parenting stuff to be incredibly frustrating and, dare I say, BORING! The baby stage was a horror - hardly any sleep, endless drudge... I prefer this stage - ds is ten now.

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Saf - hello lovely. Re Nemo eating, he will eat Muller banana custard yogs, Aldi's little chocolate puddings for children, Heinz tomato soup and chocolate buttons in their entirety.

He will lick EVERYTHING you put in front of him, food and non food products, so we do have to be careful with him but on the whole, he spends the day grazing. The volumes of liquid foods are increasing all the time and if he would drink his liquid feeds, we'd be able to remove the tube now.

At this moment in time, he still needs the tube for calories but he's putting weight on (Yay!) and that's what we need. The more weight, the better his next op will go. Which is on the horizon...... eeeeek!

I'm guessing that DS's toenail will come off any day now..... maybe a bath and an offer to wash his feet, with the skin softened, you ,may be able to just pull it off gently? If it's hanging on by the tiniest bit of skin,then the water may just do that anyway? Give him a big hug from me xxxx

Fire - ah, I see. I'd like to re-train once I'm fixed and Nemo is less needy. I'd like to go into nursing, I'm thinking about the paediatric side of nursing. I do detach when putting his tube in. Last night, we had to change his 'teddies' the Tegaderm that holds the tube in place and he was fine because he believed me when I said that it wouldn't be his tube... he's getting more savvy to the tape box when he sees it so starts to get upset before we start but I can and do reassure him enough for me to change the tape.

Greyhound - Awful thing is, I'm not tired of it. - you may not be but your poor body WILL be. I'm sorry to read that your bipolar is playing up but you know that drinking will only make it worse.

You sound so down in your posts atm. Is there anything in particular that is upsetting you? Or your life? Is there something that's triggered this current bout?

Seth (our pet wolf for those who don't know) is still in hospital and will be until early next week. I'm hoping he'll be well enough to go into kennels as we're going on holiday on Friday, hopefully...... and this is going to sound incredibly selfish but I NEED a holiday.

DD, DH, Nemo and DD's friend plus little old me are heading off to Anglesey to the same place as last year, taking the same friend for DD as her family don't have much money so for her to come means she'll get a holiday and they'll get a break.

Re the occasional drinking - I just don't want to get pissed anymore. I can't pinpoint when the change happened from never drinking to have the odd one or two once in a while, but I like myself much more sober than out of it. I like the way I wake up ready to take on what life has to throw at me.

No hangover, no nausea, no rushing to the loo, no shaking, no pounding head..... yes drinking helped with my pain but it didn't help ME.

I know that this sounds smug but no I am our if the cyclical drinking ring, I feel so much better about everything. My whole life is better.

Right, time to get ready and go get my big girl. I get to see my parents, and my vile sister and her brats sister, plus my little bro will be there so it'll be a nice family gathering .

Be back tonight. Stay Brave Babes xx

haha venus! i wasn't going to let my children watch television until they were at least three because interferes with brain development don't you know. there was no way i was going to send my child to a socially sanctioned sausage factory, i was of course, going to home educate and spend much of the year backpacking around the world immersing them in culture whilst looking young and cool, size 8 and sun tanned hmm.

sounds like food is going well mouse

greyhound - it may be that merry-go-rounds are what you're used to. i think we cling to what is familiar often even if it is hellish.

i have played on the wii with ds, had an aa friend (whose now just a friend friend actually so i can probably drop the prefix) over for coffee and received my lovely new shoes which i am wearing around the house trying to shake off the conviction that i look like a transvestite in them.

there's a music festival on in the market square in town here and said friend is trying to convince me to get the bus into town and go. my lazy hermit head is saying no but i probably should actually. shall another cup of coffee and see how i feel.

hope everyone is having a nice sunday