Success, standards and still holding out for Johnny Depp...dating thread 18

[ChaoticismyLife]

Forget the olympics...we're aiming for dating gold.

Only the best is good enough.

As you were....:)

lubey, I'm sorry :(

I have no constructive advice but I hope that you can work it out, or at least get to speak and discuss it face to face.

He asked to meet to talk about it

I don't want to read anything into that though other than he feels crap for 'it' not being face to face.

Yeah it's been 6 months since first date. I was perfectly happy not moving anywhere fast and never hinted at anything more. I didn't even want to anyway which is why I know for sure there was never any pressure or hassle there from me.

Has he got cold feet for no reason do you think?

I hope you can meet and discus it in person soon, not nice to hsve to wait.

:( much love.

Sponge - I think the texts particularly grate with me because I have had them in the past, oh I have fallen for you, oh I want to be the man in your life, oh mills and boon eat your heart out, all within a month to three month basis and all equalling a knob head that doesn't know what he wants but wants to keep his ego intact. It really isn't you. I can't tell you why you aren't getting second or third dates, what I can tell you is that you have to keep your own faith in you. Let's suppose it is you...would you really want to have to change to fit someone else's standards? Or just hold out and meet someone who can and will accept you as you are? Rejection is seriously seriously shite but I can hand on heart say I would rather a life alone than feel I can't be me to attract a man. You take a break and remember that someone once loved you and adored you for who you were. That will happen again because clearly there was nothing wrong with you was there?

Lubey - I am so sorry. I know it might really hurt just now and on the meeting but I suspect in time you might feel relief. LDR's are awful really and leave you in such a limbo. I suspect you will be just fine in the end. x

Fate thank you. You're right, someone did love me as I was. But he's the only one who ever has & it took me nearly 36 years to meet him. But I don't even want to be loved like that again, it would be amazing but I'd be happy just not to feel so constantly and unendingly alone. The thought it will be like this for the rest of my life, no-one caring about me, no affection, no sex...I literally can't bear it :(

I'd do almost anything to avoid that being the sum total of my future.

my sympathies to those in pain, it's very difficult when a love interest blows hot and cold, we've all been there and we should be used to it by now but it doesnt hurt any less:(

lubey. . Everything's better with chocolate. :). I'm really sorry. :(

Sponge - it may have taken 36 years for that to happen, it doesn't mean another 36 years. Regardless of the time scale there clearly is nothing wrong with you to have experienced a relationship where you felt completely loved and adored, something I suspect very few of us on this thread can say, despite marriages and long term relationships. Hold on to that when your esteem is low.

Fate, when I was with the Evil Ex (who told me I was nothing and no-one would ever love me) I always believed he was wrong, and someone would love me just as I was, like my parents once had. Hoping that would one day happen got me through the worst of times.

I've been trying to work out why I've been so upset by this latest rejection. I think it's because I thought he liked me more than I did him, so didn't see it coming. Now I'm thinking does he think he can do better than me, is that why he binned me off? Does he really not want a commitment probably should have thought of that before all the talk of love?, was it just to prove his attractiveness etc? I don't know. Part of me is even still hoping he might change his mind...

he might just be a manipulative game player Sponge, some folk seem to enjoy being in control and toying withn other peoples feelings

win some lose some, all a game to them

Wow been away for a little bit and as usual moving amazingly fast. So sorry sponge and Luby that's just shit.

I am also annoyed with extreme flakiness - the student had been so keen but then suddenly he just kind of disappeared into a hole and though he keeps apologising for being crap still not really good enough. Wish I didn't like him I kind of bollocked him.

In the meantime as well not sure what the deal is with motor biking Italian but have been asked out by a kind of human rights lawyer type person. Think he's quite keen.

But he's shorter than me! I hate to be weird about this but I mean I quite like to not be the biggest person in bed...???? Can you deal with that oh wise ladies? Additionally I told a friend about this and all she kept banging on about was that I should wear a dress for the date because men like it..... Hmf. Don't have many dresses....

I would actually prefer that to be the 'true' reason rather than that he thought he could do better than me, because I don't think he can

Sponge also been thinking that it's actually the most annoying thing when you are better than some man or at the least just not that into him and then they dump you! I have been most angry about that a few times.

i prefer the bloke to be @ least 150% of my body weigth but then i'm 8 stone so it's not difficult
dont think i've ever met a bloke shorter than me!

Sponge in fact the times it's happened to me have also been with men with very low self esteem, like they have realised it and therefore want to get in first...

sponge you will be loved again, of course you will.
lubey i am so sorry, hope the chocolate that was passed to you is making you feel a little better
((((hugs)))) to you both and anyone else having a hard time of it.

My date number 4 went pretty well, though he had to go cos he has to be up early :( And i was a good girl Really enjoying seeing him. wont get too excited though, Just take each night for what it is at the time and think no more of it.

sponge clearly you are out of his league...he's just trying to score some points for himself by ditchung a woman who ought to be ditching him!
Iyswim..

Hmm mercury well I am tall so not that unusual. But there are various indications this guy is into statuesque ladies despite being rather vertically challenged. I kind of admire his balls... ( wait that sounds wrong haven't met them yet erm)

Aha mercury that was what I was trying to get across

Ithink/Mercury I hope that's the case. I really do think he has got low self esteem. He bigs himself up a lot, but I suspect deep down he is quite insecure which goes back to me thinking his wife ended it, and it wasn't his choice at all. When I told him his eyes were amazing (they really are) he looked utterly shocked.

When I nosed on his ExW's facebook to check they were separated etc (his privacy settings are too high to see anything) there were quite a few comments from her & her friends on photos of their DC along the lines of how they look like her & how great that is (one friend put something like 'just imagine the alternative; awful! - and a few others 'liked' it). I don't think there's anything amicable in that split despite what he said.

Frankly sponge I think you are well out of it!!! Quelle loser.

sponge that doesnt sound amicable to me at all. I think we all say it was amicable, i can honestly say i left my ex and it was all my decision I dont for one second deny it. He was going to leave the weeked before i found out i was pregnant and i sort of wanted him to, and would probably not have tried very hard to find him if i am honest.

i think the desire for power and status can often be stronger than the desire for sex and love, and it's easy to miss that in other people when the thing you want most is sex and love.

He sounds like a heap of trouble Sponge

Ithink you're right I know :)

If he had come up to me to talk to me in a pub, he wouldn't even have got a chance to say hello, I'd have cut him off before that. Or at best shortly after. I'd have been offended he even dared approach me

But I was nice, & even though I didnt fancy him physically on sight, I gave him a chance because I liked him from our chats & texts. And we had fun & he did magic tricks for me which were really clever. And I do feel a little resentful that having given him a chance, he then turned ME down. I hope he is sitting in his crappy littleflat regretting it already. He should be!