Success, standards and still holding out for Johnny Depp...dating thread 18

[ChaoticismyLife]

Forget the olympics...we're aiming for dating gold.

Only the best is good enough.

As you were....:)

I suppose exs can be lovely, which is why we got together with them in the first place.
It's the long term that's the problem. :(

Mr VN seems nicer by the minute, BTW.
However, I suspect it won't last long term either. He hasn't had many long term relationships and has admitted to not sticking with people for long. But that's ok for me for now. As far as rebound relationships go, this is not bad at all. :)

Short term is perfect for me. I don't want to be getting married or anything heavy, but at the same time I want more than sex I love the snuggles and kisses, which I will admit we did kiss yesterday, but I kissed him first, just sort of spur of the moment. No pressure for anything more why the fuck can't the rest of the male population be like it?

That's one thing I like on Mr VN. The way we hold hands, and touch each other. And my hand, rather than my leg.

And one I didn't about ex. Lack of cuddles. And the groping when we did. :(

And the way he hints at sex, but not overtly. I don't really do sex talk, although if we had been at home in the evening, I'm not sure I'd be able to keep my hands off him.

Exactly its just nice. Cuddling up on the sofa, touching each others arms, skin against skin or fingers entwined. I am struggling to keep my hands off to be honest. And I think I deserve a pat on the back. Lol. He has stunning blue eyes (i have a thing for blue eyes too). I just hope I can continue enjoying it for a while at least.

I'd be happy with short term or long term. Hell, I'd be happy to get to see the same man more than once

I'm really struggling this week. Apologies for what is undoubtedly tmi, I don't know if its the hot weather, a general feeling of ennui, or what, but I am suffering an increasingly rampant libido . However I really dont want to have to do the whole first date sex thing YET AGAIN - not that I have a choice of course, its that or nothing. And I'm not sure I can get by on nothing for much longer, needing to scratch that itch & all that...

Cant help feeling at best slightly peeved though that the only action I can get is with a virtual stranger who i will never see again And that every time I basically have to go out seeking it...wheres the romance in it all?

Nothing wrong with a healthy libido sponge! Sometimes the itch just needs scratching. I know what you mean though. Mr tall scratched mine ;) needs must and all that x

Oh and there's no romance in that sadly :( I think I have given up on finding my mr right, so for me is a mr right now!

Oh sponge my libido is only just under control which no doubt will change as soon as I see him again

I can easily get one nighters, longer is harder though.

I really can't think long term as proper long term goes at all, right now I need fun and lots of it preferably with just one person before I would even think of settling down.

I'm so bored with the whole one night thing though. it seems so bloody cliched. And its not me. I've had nearly as many one-nighters in the 8 months as I have in all the years previously in total.

it just annoys me its that or nothing. that at 40 years of age, with all the stuff i have going for me, that's the best i can do...

It's not the best you can do, but the majority of men on pof or similar just want sex. I do think it's quite rare to meet someone genuine sadly. Don't be so hard on yourself.

If you want you can look at my profile, it's not like the traditional ones. Seem to get quite a bit of interest due to it being different x

Men like to Chase have and run, Thats what worries me about last nights date that he won't wanna see me again if we sleep together.

I dont think Im being hard on myself, I just find it (literally) frustrating.

I'd like to meet someone and fall in love, blah blah. But until then, I'd be happy with something casual, or whatever. But for some reason all the men I meet either just want a total one-off, or they want to date someone (just that someone isnt me)

I do get lots of messages. My profile is pretty good I think. I don't think it attracts the wrong type of men, quite possibly the wrong type is all there is on there!

Actually you are right, the majority are the wrong type of men!

Yes, thats kind of what I feared...

I dunno, suspect that alot of the men on dating sites are just looking for occasional sex in the flesh to compliment their regular diet of porn?

Regular sex with the same woman even if it is on a casual/fwb basis is too much like hard work compared to diy in front of a screen?

I've used online dating on and off since about 2005 (yes it was mostly in the summer..rising sap and all that
I can only think of 3 men with whom the sex was truly worth shaving my legs for

Mercury somewhat depressingly i think you may be right. A couple of the guys I've been on dates with seem (reading between the lines) to go on a date - doubtless with a view to sex - about once a month, presumably when the urge for something more than DIY hits?!

Mr Ill told me he's not had sex for 4 years. That's a lot of DIY time. Hence I thought he's be quite keen on the real thing. Or not as it turned out

...most of it was just rubbish one off's

well..some guys seem to stick with the 'mantra' that women are unfathomable and hard work, and apparently men do have a propensity to become habituated to porn

which is depressing because most porn is just toe curling and cringe-worthy

I mean, sex can be a beautiful thing but they prefer that old wank
it's just junk food compared to proper nourishing food...but then look how hooked we can get on junk food
cuz it's quick and easy and hyperstimulating

not had sex for 4 years...he may have been concerned about being out of practise?

Well porn has a lot to answer for.

I am looking forward to a third date but fear i may pounce on him though he would so not complain but i am a laydee. I apparently looked really good in my school skirt, which i look back at and think its slutty and apparently should still wear skirts like it, cos i should flaunt myself.... not so sure

the junk food analogy is a good one - its easy and convenient, and temporarily satisfying. I've never been anti-porn, more in the whatever floats your boat brigade, but perhaps because I stupidly still think of it as being about top shelf mags and the odd dodgy video or DVD, rather than all over the internet & something which is so accessible.

As a mum of boys it does worry me for their futures.

I think on reflection maybe I was a bit much for Mr Ill. Which of course is his issue not mine and not that he was complaining in the 2 hours we spent snogging.

Morning.
My coffee date isn't that into me but is very much into my garden. He texts me every day asking how my garden renovation is going. Then he asks if he can pop over to check whether I doing it right!! Each time i say no as it's just a bit odd and I am doing it right. He then texts me pictures of his.......garden.
Weird? We never get onto anything more personal than that. I have asked if he is looking to be paid for advising me about garden and he said it was free.

MLM. It doesnt matter what you wear. If someone thinks you look slutty thats their problem. Also. I know you love the cuddles etc but also decide whether YOU like the person, regardless of the affection. By that I mean his values and attitude.

Sponge: Im in the same situation as you right now. I dont worry about the sex but I do about the fact I can't get pass the first meeting.

Snape: hope you are good.

Ok I'm a bit confused about my guy - can anyone offer any insight?

For those that don't know - we met last Friday after months of texting/facebooking. Had a great night and arranged to meet again this coming Friday.

Lots of texting and facebooking everyday since our last date. We have tons in common (especially our bucket list!) and laugh about the same stuff etc. Then last night he asked me if this coming Friday was actually a 'date' as such as he wasn't sure how I felt and didn't want to put any pressure on.

It took me by surprise because I'd assumed the first one was a date - never mind this one coming up!

So the pessimist in me is saying I'm taking this more seriously than he is ...
The optimist in me is saying he was wanting me to confirm that we are 'dating' and not just meeting up for the sake of it.

Please tell me how you'd take that! I'm really quite into this guy and don't want to fall any deeper if we're on different wavelengths

first dates are more of a ' meet' really, it would be better if people didnt think of them as ' dates' i think, would save a lot of issues.
I would think hes asking if youi liked him and this is a ' date' in the romantic sense of the word.
But if i were you i would try and rein your feelings in a bit, you shouldnt be attached after one meet