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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Success, standards and still holding out for Johnny Depp...dating thread 18

999 replies

ChaoticismyLife · 19/07/2012 22:01

Forget the olympics...we're aiming for dating gold.

Only the best is good enough.

As you were....:)

OP posts:
snapespeare · 23/07/2012 19:17

On my way to PMs for a shoulder.to cry on. :)

Lueji · 23/07/2012 19:21

Lubey

I have to say that I'm similar. I need some proximity and prefer to talk about certain things face to face. And I am more loving physically than through words.
Not so good in a long distance relationship.

But maybe he will get used to it with time and some patience?
And maybe you could take what he does as his love language?

Lueji · 23/07/2012 19:24

Snape. :o

And don't cry. Find something to laugh about.

MyLittleMiracles · 23/07/2012 19:59

Don't cry snape live laugh LEARN love.

MyLittleMiracles · 23/07/2012 20:03

My date will be here any moment so I will update you girls later just before I go to bed, which will be alone because I am a good girl and though wearing a dress it does not mean I am up for it great to test his respect for me though

MrsToddNeeLovett · 23/07/2012 20:03

Snape - words fail me but I'm glad you're seeing the funny side now - what a lucky escape for you that was! Would be hilarious if he was still on the toilet though ...

I have my second date planned for Friday night. He's text me lots since date 1 and has been very upbeat and 'nice' so hoping he doesn't cancel last minute.

I've just realised how much he must have spent on date one considering he paid of the meal AND two games of bowling ... since when did bowling cost upwards of £20 a time?? So anyway, we're going to the cinema first (on me this time, my request) and then going to get drunk for a few drinks Grin

I admit - I'm hoping for a snog Grin he was very gentlemanny last time with a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. No need for that now Grin

Movingforward123 · 23/07/2012 20:57

mercury would you really use him for his gargening services first?

I've been thinking about it today, and I've decided I dont actually fancy him, I quite liked his company, but I don't think I am really into him. I think when i messaged him I thought I am in serious need of action Grin

watch I think you are right, after 1 date he was checking up on me, I wonder what he is like after a few months?

the thing is I dont think I would be very into this thurday guy either. but i have been talking to him for ages and i feel like i should atleast meet up with him.

There is another guy who is only looking for fwb who seems sexy and i want to meet up with him but feel in two minds about it all Confused

StillGettingItWrong · 23/07/2012 21:24

Lubey he sounds a lot like Mr Right-Now - very sweet and affectionate in person totally shit hard work on text etc. It's almost like dating two different guys but the face-to-face time makes up for it. I also think we will fizzle out over the next 2-3 months but at least my first proper foray into online dating was with a generally nice guy and not some confidence crushing twunt

hatesponge · 23/07/2012 21:35

I can report that hell has officially frozen over.

Today after yet another utterly pointless mediation session, the Evil Ex and I had our first normal, indeed positively friendly, conversation in many years. We may even be about to reach a compromise.

I am still completely Shock

Quite frankly now I believe anything is possible!

StillGettingItWrong · 23/07/2012 21:38

Oh my god sponge, maybe its a sign that a second date is around the corner...? Things are on the change! :)

hatesponge · 23/07/2012 21:53

I can still barely believe it.

It's utterly the most bizarre thing that has happened to me in years.

We were actually laughing & joking like normal people.

Part of me thinks I just imagined it!

OhWesternWind · 23/07/2012 22:35

Hi there everyone! I would love to join this thread as I've just taken the plunge into online dating, two dates so far. Both were fine, nice pleasant guys but no real attraction. Am I being daft thinking there should be a "spark" right from the start?

I have another one lined up for when I can find a babysitter, plus one I really like the sound of, lots in common professionally, and a little baby one twenty years younger who thinks I look like good fun. ( bit worrying, that. I've not replied).

So, any tips or advice or can I just join in and have a laugh/moan as appropriate?

CrikeyOHare · 23/07/2012 23:14

Sorry to butt in again, but is anyone else having problems with POF at the moment?

Every time I try to do something it sort of crashes and I get a blank white page. Keep having to log in and out - so tedious.

Also - tell me who this reminds you of:

www.pof.com/viewallmessages.aspx?sender_id=15185360&message_id=7803123240&Guid=45026422&SID=hxh4h21vbitavhuyxkz4nsoh

SoleSource · 23/07/2012 23:35

Plenty of scumbags has evaporated in the slime.

Lueji · 24/07/2012 00:03

Crickey,
we have to login to read the message.
Post the contents?

Lueji · 24/07/2012 00:04

Sponge, just as long as you don't get back together...

MyLittleMiracles · 24/07/2012 00:54

My date just left. I had a great time. Really cuddly. Perfect. Might message him in a while. Very happy tonight. I am about to Toddle off to bed.

watchoutforthatsnail · 24/07/2012 07:54

Sponge, well, Bloody hell!!!! Super pleased for you :)

Hi Western, yes, some kind of spark. There is no point if you aren't feeling it.

Lubey, do you think It's Maybe in part down to the fact you know he's going, so are holding back, or looking for ' wrong' things, to distance yourself from it, so you don't end up hurt when he's gone?
It does sound like maybe you just need some reassurance from him. Or, if you realky are unhappy about it when you are apart you could talk to him about it?

Mlm, glad you had a good date.

I feel much better, I wasbeing silly. He was meant to be coming round last night, but after a hellish day at work we posponed to tonight. Then he called later to say he wished hr had seen me, and how much he likes being with me :)

And earlier in the night I.cut my thumb cutting an onion, text him and he called to make sure I was ok, and was all.concerened and lovely. Which sounds a small thing, but I woyidnt have even bothered telling my exdh that, bevsgse he wouldn't have given a shit.

And, I gave him an out for this weekends camping, I got worried that he didn't really want to go. But he said he was really looking forward to it and had brought some stuff for it in his lunch ( which he didnt have to do, bevsgse I've got it all)

And then I got a late night text saying ' night night, gorgeous girl, sleep well'
Which was just swoonsome.

So, I.was being realky Bloody daft for no reason.

MyLittleMiracles · 24/07/2012 08:35

I think everyone has wobbles watch

Today I plan on finishing papering little man's room so that I can then paint it and I can have my room back!!

snapespeare · 24/07/2012 10:08

Lovely evening... Well, morning, got home at three, severely hungover. Feel much, much brighter after some affirmation that I am actually rather lovely and the guy is an idiot.

lubeybooby · 24/07/2012 11:08

StillGettingItWrong - yeah I think he is Mr Right-Now, definitely. Even though so many things have been wonderful, I have never, ever been able to see us being long term, and I have no idea why. I enjoy him so much (anyone remember the amazing 4th date?) and so many things are great, but my mind never wanders off to thoughts of living together or anything like that. I don't know if it's just that I'm allergic to all that kind of thing now, or if it's him, or a bit of both.

I also think even though he ticks so many boxes, ease of communication must be a deal breaker for me too.

watch yeah I think that could be it too. I still daren't ask if he still has plans to bugger off, because I dread him saying yes.

It's odd he hasn't mentioned it and that could actually be a bad sign because he could be internalising it and stressing about it, he did that with his recent holiday, and found it really hard to tell me he was going. I dealt with it better than him.

So anyway I think he's more likely to clam up and stick his head in the sand about going rather than not going. Feck, going to have to drag it out of him next time I see him. Gulp.

Anyway, I cracked last night and talked to him about the recent wobbles and I got my reassurance, bless him. I feel a lot better now. and just got my period so I think a lot of my wobble could have been pms related, ffs pass the chocolate

So yeah anyway I think he is Mr Right-Now. But I'm enjoying it anyway and we have a great time, and difficult though it is, I couldn't live with him or anything so the distance and the way we do things does suit me down to the ground.

That doesn't mean it won't be horrendous if he is moving faaaaaaaar far away though. God what an odd situation! I'm off to stay with him for a few days at the end of July so I'll ask him then if he is going for it or not.

lubeybooby · 24/07/2012 11:10

snape you are indeed lovely!

hatesponge · 24/07/2012 12:09

Think I am still slightly in shock from yesterday's conversation, and the fact (which I had long forgotten due to the fact he has spent years behaving like a complete tosser) that the Evil Ex can sometimes be a normal, actually quite pleasant person.

Odd!

MyLittleMiracles · 24/07/2012 13:08

Last nights date wants to see me again. :) not sure when yet though. He passed the dress test cos he didn't immediately jump on me just cos I was wearing a dress, though he couldn't take his eyes off me

I am one very happy munchkin.

MyLittleMiracles · 24/07/2012 13:19

sponge I think all ex's can be nice. I know me and mine will never though, not long term anyway. So I don't bother at all. Everything to go via a solicitor. Which hopefully will mean I get no more abuse. My ex didn't bother with mediaton which was his choice not mine, despite or so I have been told, he has said I won't let him see DS. I think a contact centre and mediation is reasonable.

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