Success, standards and still holding out for Johnny Depp...dating thread 18

[ChaoticismyLife]

Forget the olympics...we're aiming for dating gold.

Only the best is good enough.

As you were....:)

sorry, no i havent checked if he's been online - I've flounced dramatically from okstupid and have no interest if he is alive and out in the world or has suffered a heart attack whilst wanking himself off in a grubby little gents...

Maybe he just sat there and died Snape, maybe he had trapped wind and it blew his intestines apart and he is still sat there, on the bog, going a nice shade of blue. See, we all automatically thought the worst of him where there is in fact reasonable explanations as to why he left but didn't return.

Great links, but I think watch should have her lady garden shaped into that of an electric guitar. That would prove dedication!

oh god, imagine if thats what he was doing!! grim.

perhaps if i wore all of those he might notice?!?!?

i dont want to have to say anything, not really. but im going to have to, because i want to invite him to this safari thing im going to with DD because hes a sucker for animals. (and i want him to meet DD too) so, while im away. unless that goes horribly wrong...or maybe when we are at the alber hall

nooo, he likes a full on bush. this is very good for my grooming habits as frankly, its nice not to be be arsed with it ;)
hahahahaha

snape - you should text him' im worried about you, you have been gone ages, have filed a missing persons report..
;)

Well, you could say something along the lines of "MrLovely, I would like to invite you along to a safari thing, with me and DD, how would feel about that? Meeting DD?" Cue positive and eager response, then you go on to say "You do realise that this is serious stuff don't you? Meeting The Child. I don't allow just any old bloke to meet The Child, only keepers, so if you aren't planning on being a keeper then it's best you don't meet her" something like that should get you your answer without you having to say something first. Something outright, anyway.

Replace the word 'keeper' with word of your choice.

god, you're right - i should have given him the benefit of the doubt and waited a bit longer...

I would text him Snape, I would text "Have you finished yet?"

incidentally while I am annoying everyone with clicking-through to jpegs.

i was led to believe i was getting this

I got this!

I nearly wet myself when I opened that second link!!

Good God Snape, he did you a favour by not coming back!! If he had turned up on a date it would be me going for a dump and not coming back!

hahhaha, i nearly just wee'd

Time, thats a good idea. ill do that. thanks :) you are a super star.

he did do me a favour. I should think kindly of him.

omg snape ! I'd be doing exactly the same with the okc flounce and everything

I'm with time I think he just died. [insert dead face cartoon emoticon here with crosses for eyes]

Hello watch it's really cool to see things going well for you, and fond is really good! I understand that feeling rather than love.

Hello again all. My wobbles from the other day haven't subsisided. I think I've made a decision to just let it die, having done a lot of thinking, it seems to be fizzling out slowly. I realised I was making a lot of effort to try and compensate for the distance etc but I'm not seeing the same effort from him, so blah, meh and boooo hiss.

He does sort of make an effort but has a tendency to throw money at things rather than the more emotional way I make an effort.

Ohhh I don't know. I suppose we need to talk but he is so difficult to do deep conversations with (not really his fault, harsh upbringing and private school, he has had counselling but still clams up a lot) And that would be me making the emotional effort again....

You are welcome Watch, I hope it all goes well for you.

Snape, that's taking it a bit too far, we are not going to think kindly of him, but if you should see him sat on a street corner somewhere, you can throw 50p into his begging bowl

I could be spending that 50p on wine. He gets fuck all from me, he's alreday had too much of my time. :)

Lubey I think sometimes, when we aren't getting what we expect to be getting from a situation, we do tend to fill the gaps. If I was in your situation I would take a step back, I would withdraw a little and allow him the chance to make the effort. If he didn't pull out all the stops to make things work then I would have my answer.

Having read what you put about his background, would you describe him as emotionally unavailable? If so, if you were being honest with yourself, would someone like that be really what you are looking for, long term? I had one that was EU and it's bloody hard work, when all the newness wears off and you get down to the nitty gritty of an 'actual relationship' they just haven't got what it takes.

Too true Snape, too true!

Snape
how about sending him a text saying:
Sorry I left when you were in the toilet. I didn't feel there was any chemistry and didn't have the courage to tell you face to face. It's not me, it's you.

Yeah time that's exactly what I'm doing at the moment.

I'm not sure I would say he is completely emotionally unavailable, he does try not to be, and when we are together he is very tender, affectionate and loving and we talk non stop. If there's anything deeper I want to talk about, he will listen and do his best if we are face to face.

It's just when we are apart and the relationship is being conducted with phone, skype, text etc that he finds it difficult to convey emotion or affection.

He also tends to favour actions rather than words

He finds it very difficult to talk about his feelings BUT he does do it long as it's face to face even though he clearly struggles.

I dunno... is that emotionally unavailable?

Sorry I left when you were in the 'toilet' for forty minutes . I didn't feel there was any chemistry, as you bear very little resemblence to your photographs and if you are actually 36 years old (ha!) I will give Boris Johnson a lapdance whilst playing a penny whistle with my foof. I didn't have the courage to tell you face to face because looking at you for too long would make me physically sick .It's not me, it's you.

:)

I wouldn't say so Lubey, he sounds very 'giving' and he certainly sounds interested in you, that doesn't indicate that he is emotionally unavailable, just perhaps not as 'available' as you would like him to be Maybe, when he is away, it's the fact he is away from you, and so engrossed in work that makes him appear distant, his mind will be more in work mode. BUT, the good thing is that he does keep in contact with you. And I like that fact that he prefers to discuss how he feels, face to face. That shows he is open and has nothing to hide, he is allowing you to see the whole of him. If he was a shady character then he would favour text, because then he could say whatever you wanted to hear without you being able to read him.

You know, I am wondering if you are feeling a little bit the same way Watch is feeling, that you would maybe like a little bit of reassurance from him. I think yes, you do need to talk to him, put all your cards on the table. There is absolutely no harm in telling him what you need from him for this relationship to be able to continue. Much better to talk than end things because of how you think the relationship is going And, it does sound as though he has put a lot of effort into becoming the man he is today, to not let his background or his past spoil his future. I dare say he would welcome your discussions, that he would see it as even more learning about himself.

Lubey i dont think it's emotionally unavialbel per ce as when you're together things seem lovely - I think a lot of people don't set too much store by phone/skype etc, tehy assume that things stop when they're not there and they pick up again when they see you in person.

(sorry really shoddy typing!)

Thanks all. Hmmm. time yes I think you are right actually a bit of reassurance would be nice. No chance to talk face to face now until next weekend - argh. I do like that he prefers talking face to face but it would be handy if for times like this we could do face to face more often. Ah well. Not too long to wait I suppose.

Grrr. Anything else wanna go wrong? My shower broke, half way through doing my hair, my stomach kills and I now appear to have a bladder infection. I will not be running back and forth to the toilet all night.

2 co codamol and 2 ibuprofen taken, cystitis relief sachet at the ready. Not much else I can do is there? Apart from drink plenty.