Do many women actually orgasm during penetration?

[pebblecleaner]

I'm not sure if this is the right board for this and will admit to nn changing for the thread .

So I have never orgasmed through or during penetration with DH (he's the only person I've ever been with). The actual sex part of our relationship is OK - nice at times and very pleasant at others, but not nice enough for actual orgasming for me during the sex bit. I just wondered if this was normal or not.

I only ask as (and I realise this is a bad frame of reference) I'm reading '50 shades' at the minute and will admit to being quite naive about things in general and one of the characters mentioned something about it taking her a year to orgasm through sex. I have no trouble orgasming before or after when DH stimulates me but for some reason even if he does this to me during sex I just can't orgasm and I stand no chance if he doesn't stimulate me.

Apologies if I'm being a bit blunt, or naive, or asking this on completely the wrong board. I'm just wondering if a) this is common or normal and b) if there's anything DH and/or I can do to try and work on this. I'm so used to it now that it's the norm but when I sit and think about it it does seem a shame if it's something that holds an obvious answer

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I think all women are very different in how they need to be stimulated sometimes, i have a few friends that are like you and a few who are like me and a few who have never orgasmed in their life!! i can orgasm quite easily during penetration though i find it a lot easier if im on top as i can kinda grind down (sorry if tmi) and use his body how i need to (lol) i tend to find pressure as well as him being inside me makes me cum, im the opposite to you actually i rarely rarely cum during oral sex or just with some fumbling i do need him/something inside me as well as stimulation of the clit area really, have you tried that? just try pushing yourself down or when his on top pushing your hips up (or putting a pillow under your bum) and see how that works? theres other tips to but not sure what sorta stuff you like but overall you are defintely normal chick! we all are! i used to think i was mental for never being able to cum during oral but we are all so unique, i think its all about experimenting :-) XX

I think only about 30% of women orgasm through intercourse. It is one of those myths that if only you had sex with the 'one' or better lover etc you would orgasm through penetration.

I think it might be harder for you to orgasm even if your DH stimulates you during sex because it's harder for him to be precise/do it well while having sex at the same time iyswim? Perhaps you doing it would be better.

Hi i think statistics say that at least if not more then 75% of women dont through pentrative sex alone, I dont and am happy to put my hands in the air and admit it. The only time I have and forgive me for tmi, but when the man is behind im kneeling and manually stimulating myself.

it wasnt until my 2nd husband that I have done through oral, I am highly sexed and came to terms that i dont a long time ago, its never been a problem, and sex has always been enjoyable for me no matter what.

Hope this helps.

I never used to but I do now with a new partner and it's bloody marvellous after 20 years of shit sex :o

It's rare to orgasm just through penetration but I do occasionally. Usually need a bit of manual help. I think that's normal!

Penetration with me on top at a certain angle is the only way for me to get a proper deep orgasm. A clitoral one is just a bit annoying in comparison. Get on top, lean forward a bit to stimulate clitoris & G spot at the same time & a good regular rhythm helps. (TMI?? )

Only if I'm on top and in the right position here - my bits are tilted so its really difficult for me to orgasm during sex unless i'm in this position. I thought I was strange for years until I found out this is why. I still really enjoy it in other positions just never get to that point iyswim

I was thinking the same thing when reading that amazing literary master piece
I have never come through just intercourse and I have had sex with 25ish my fair share of men, I can only come through clitoral stimulation/ oral sex.
I think that's quite normal.

Okay, firstly don't take 50 shades of grey as an accurate portrayal of orgasm

Secondly not all women orgasm from penetration, as others have said. If it bothers you, you could try toys, different positions or building up the tension beforehand to see if it makes a difference, or perhaps focus less on penetration as a "goal" and see if you can find other ways of having sex together/other things to focus on to change it up a bit.

I do sometimes orgasm in this way but it feels very different to a clitoral orgasm and doesn't happen every time. Generally as long as you're enjoying what you're doing though there's nothing wrong at all but don't be afraid to ask for something a bit different even if you're worried it might be boring to your DH - it probably won't be!

This is very interesting and thank you for your frankness. You see, I love mn for this as I'm just not to sort of person to talk about this sort of stuff to people in RL

I'm happy with how things are, but given how DH and I have only ever been with each other part of me wonders if there's something we're not doing we're missing out on.

winny I think you're right re: DH not being quite so delicate when DTD to me (not his fault). I am quite an unconfident person and have never been able to feel happy doing the job as it were to myself in front of him . Infact, if I'm honest, I'm actually a little shy about him even seeing my face while I do orgasm - I just feel like I look ridiculous and can let go and relax more when he can't see me. I realise I sound a bit odd there

modified we've tried all different positions and I've tried all sorts of angles within those positions so that he can 'catch' me. One time a few months ago I think we almost got there but not sure how and haven't managed it again since. I think it would add an extra goodess (if that's the right word) if I could manage it while we dtd for me - when he does stimulate me I feel like I would like him inside while I do orgasm....it just never works when he is!!

25% is about right
Shere Hite, Kinsey, Masters & Johnson, Tracey Cox all think the same

Don't be shy about masturbating in front of him, there's no need and I'm sure he'll love it. And you can be natural about it, no need to make porn film poses and faces etc.

You could also touch yourself til you almost come (like, literally, on the edge) and then have him enter you- the thrusts/ clitoral stimulation might make you orgasm with him inside you (same as you touching yourself non stop while having sex, but just sort of nice to come from vaginal penetration-even if it wouldn't be, really, iyswim).

But, yeah, it's very annoying when you grow up with Mills and Boon etc where women have shattering PIV orgasms the first time they have sex Kind of sets up this whole lot of expectations and then you're dissappointed when it doesn't happen to you.

Eeek am I weird because I do every time?

Yep

If you can get hold of it, The Hite Report on Female Sexuality is an eye-opener. I read it when I was 20, a great time to have those mis-conceptions (pardon the pun) challenged.

And yes, most don't, without extra help

No hmg I think you're maybe just lucky

Xposted there a bit with last post.

Just to confirm - the on top position - do you sit upright like you're sitting up but with a tilted pelvis or on top but more top half against his body (so you could kiss him still)?

I realise taking 50 shades as a reference point is a bit stupid unusual but that one sentence just got me thinking alot about it.

winny that idea might be worth a go. I wish I could just let myself go a bit more and be a bit more confident . There's nothing wrong with what we do, but maybe it's time to mix it up a bit

See my thing is I know lots of women don't without extra help, but I don't seem to manage it fo some reason unknown to me even with help, I can only manage it not during penetration. Maybe it's a mental thing

Really - I heartily recommend some reading on this.

I used to not be able to. I think my physiology changed after DCs. Everyone is different.

Sorry - It might not be a mental thing (but it might). Mine was a physical thing, I'm pretty sure of that. Do lots of research IYSWIM

Well what is penetration like? Is he gentle, does he follow your lead? Or is it wham bam thank you mam? I only orgasm without hands if I'm completely in control of how he moves. It is elusive! But if he isn't actually stimulating you while you are having sex then of course you won't orgasm.

Totally normal.
I never have an orgasm through penetration alone.
Suits me as dh has to work at it before we go to the finale

I have done, but only once, and only in a very particular position. It was also back in the days when we were first seeing each other and used to spend time on foreplay so I was really turned on - towards the end it was a case of wham bang thank you mam and I think a lot of women need that foreplay for it to have even a chance of happening.

It was fab when it happened though, completely different to normal :)