Do many women actually orgasm during penetration?

[pebblecleaner]

I'm not sure if this is the right board for this and will admit to nn changing for the thread .

So I have never orgasmed through or during penetration with DH (he's the only person I've ever been with). The actual sex part of our relationship is OK - nice at times and very pleasant at others, but not nice enough for actual orgasming for me during the sex bit. I just wondered if this was normal or not.

I only ask as (and I realise this is a bad frame of reference) I'm reading '50 shades' at the minute and will admit to being quite naive about things in general and one of the characters mentioned something about it taking her a year to orgasm through sex. I have no trouble orgasming before or after when DH stimulates me but for some reason even if he does this to me during sex I just can't orgasm and I stand no chance if he doesn't stimulate me.

Apologies if I'm being a bit blunt, or naive, or asking this on completely the wrong board. I'm just wondering if a) this is common or normal and b) if there's anything DH and/or I can do to try and work on this. I'm so used to it now that it's the norm but when I sit and think about it it does seem a shame if it's something that holds an obvious answer

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I cannot tell you how annoyed I am that I have anything in common with that utter drivel 50 shades of shite - however, it took me about a year to be able to reach orgasm with a partner. And that was without a toddler!

I think you should start with getting more comfortable with orgasm in front of him - and if you are worried about how your face will look, try a mask. I'm not being funny, I've heard about that issue before and masks are very liberating (I don't mean like a halloween mask or anything, more like a costume party mask). Also using a dildo might be another way forward (assuming you don't already) you can experiment with what speed, pressure, movement suits you, and then let your DH watch to give him an idea.

Also - try the on-top position, but when you have inserted tab A into slot B (IYSWIM) try lying down on top of him, and pull your legs up and put them together. Then you can very very gently move, be very in control, just rocking your body and rolling your hips until you find the right rythym.

And yes to Lube.

It does feel different orgasming when he is inside me i think not going to lie and say it feels the same as it doesnt! maybe try what others have said and get near the point then get on top? i do see what you mean though, my oh sometimes says he can feel be kinda "throbbing" when im done if its a strong orgasm which must feel quite pleasant! x

I can't do it when I'm on top so that's not always a given. I might be odd though

Well actually what this thread has done, is prove that we're all different and want different things

My tip is to be on top, lying down a bit, and put a little bullet vibe in between the two of you. So you're stimulating both of you together.

£9.99 in Boots, they are. Bargain!

Has anyone said to stop thinking about it too much?

Don't put any pressure on yourself otherwise its very likely that it won't happen.

Just relax and go with the flo.

And maybe do some of these suggestions, for fun though!

I thought I was relatively well-informed about sex, but before reading this thread I actually didn't realise that some women can only orgasm from penetration! Isn't it fascinating how we're all wired differently?

Personally while I very much enjoy penetration I only orgasm from clitoral stimulation and usually prefer this to happen before the penetration. Often I find that having penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time means that the different sensations detract from each other - sort of like trying to pat your head while rubbing your tummy, if that makes any sense!

Feeling emotionally and physically satisfied is the most important thing and that doesn't have to involve orgasm during penetration - and for some people, and on some occasions, it doesn't have to involve orgasm at all.

Yup we are all different! Isn't that great?!!!!

Nobody orgasms just through penetration....you have to do some groin work yourself!

That means stimulating yourself against his pelvis as you do it...hard work...but rewarding!

Everyone is different!
I am the same as HMG penetration gets me going, as does oral sex, kissing ...

Nobody orgasms just through penetration....

It has been known.

*Nobody orgasms just through penetration....you have to do some groin work yourself!

That means stimulating yourself against his pelvis as you do it...hard work...but rewarding!*

Soooo true!

Just echoing that we are all different really. I really need penetration to truely orgasm, through oral etc are weaker ones iykwim, I have never needed much foreplay necessarily just him in me I would say just relax a bit, go with the flow and maybe experiment.....

Oh god - feeling a bit hot under the collar now!

I can orgasm through either penetration or clitoral stimulation, but agree with melpomene that I don't like experiencing the two sensations at the same time, so the 'penetration with a bit of help' scenario that many posters have mentioned does nothing for me.

Feeling a bit under the weather (nothing to do with this thread ) . Will read and reply tomorrow

I do, pretty much every time.

I didn't before dh, though, or at the beginning with dh. Over time, we have got better at giving each other what we like, and it is now fairly easy for both of us to get the other to orgasm just about any way we like.

You do need to be willing to teach him though!

I do, but it has to be with the most vanilla position-missionary. So we do a lot of that

Another one here who finds penetrative orgasm easier to achieve. I always have. . And it doesn't take me doing the work to get it either.

That said, its rare for me to have an orgasm as a result of oral, very rare. And not that common with clitoral stimulation either (but think that's down to my husband, he's far too rough with it despite me telling him so many many times down the years!).

I do but it takes concentration. Also much easier post childbirth for some reason ( very post, youngest is 7)

I've never had an orgasm through oral or hand stimulation of clitoris. With a vibrator yes but I still feel that there's something missing. Need that penetration!!

(Sorry )

The best position I ever found is lying down in the back seat of a car with one leg resting on the headrest of the front seat. Seems to, erm, help. And yet I hate it if someone tries to push my legs back usually as it hurts all up the back of my thighs, not enjoyable at all. Annoyingly beds don't tend to come with handy foot rests!

I used to be able to, appear to have dried up through lack of practise lost the knack.

Having read your description of your sex life I'm not exactly surprised that you aren't orgasming. In and out super fast is occasionally good when you're in the mood but in general, it doesn't do much for a woman. Slower, more sensual, more rubbing and grinding and lube if it gets too dry. I know it's not easy to tell a partner you don't like they way they do it so you may have to take the lead non verbally.

Im with peppermint, only missionary, and only with my legs nearly closed, and he has to be going really slowly, and with diy clit work too.