Do many women actually orgasm during penetration?

[pebblecleaner]

I'm not sure if this is the right board for this and will admit to nn changing for the thread .

So I have never orgasmed through or during penetration with DH (he's the only person I've ever been with). The actual sex part of our relationship is OK - nice at times and very pleasant at others, but not nice enough for actual orgasming for me during the sex bit. I just wondered if this was normal or not.

I only ask as (and I realise this is a bad frame of reference) I'm reading '50 shades' at the minute and will admit to being quite naive about things in general and one of the characters mentioned something about it taking her a year to orgasm through sex. I have no trouble orgasming before or after when DH stimulates me but for some reason even if he does this to me during sex I just can't orgasm and I stand no chance if he doesn't stimulate me.

Apologies if I'm being a bit blunt, or naive, or asking this on completely the wrong board. I'm just wondering if a) this is common or normal and b) if there's anything DH and/or I can do to try and work on this. I'm so used to it now that it's the norm but when I sit and think about it it does seem a shame if it's something that holds an obvious answer

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If I'm completely honest erik he tends to like it a bit in out in out and quite fast pace, which I can find a little, not painful, but I can feel a bit sore with, whereas I enjoy it more when it's slower and when it's more, what's the best phrase, rotating round while in as opposed to just in out. This could just be DH and Is inexperience with no other partners for all I know. I know I watched an episode of Sex and the City a few years ago and there was a character Carrie slept with who they joked about I can't remember what expression they used but the jist was that he was having sex like someone was giving him a had job (as in in out up down type)....and I watched that thinking 'that's how I sometimes feel with DH'

I think the expression carrie used was "jack rabbit sex". I really hate that too and asked my dh to never, ever do it like that again. It was like being a teenager again and not in a good way!

I think you need to encourage the way you like it. Sore is not good. Should not be Tell him what you enjoy. Be honest if it's sore or you are not ready, don't push through pain. He should be very upset at the thought that he is hurting you, even a little.

Well popsy this is 3/4 at least of our sex life - so this is the answer then???

Sorry mis-typed. Miss out the "should not be" bit above ^^

jamie it doesn't hurt, just a little sore. In the past I had issues with lack of drive while on the pill and it hurt so much we didn't dtd at all for months and months (if not over a year), so to me this little soreness is nothing, and in my head he must like it like that to want to do it like that, and we both get our needs met so what's the bother....but maybe I do need to shake things around.

There's a board game called Monogamy which might be worth a look at to open up some of this as a topic of conversation.

Yeah we have that - didn't get along with it that well as we didn't enjoy the role play stuff and now we have a toddler we don't have much time for things like that anyway - we're usually lucky if we squeeze in anything once a week now

X post. You don't sound satisfied though. I'm a bit concerned you say "this is nothing". Something's not right - so what if it's better than pain? I'm worried you feel you have to put up with it.

I'm sure there are changes that could satisfy you more and he'd enjoy too. If he's inexperienced he may have no idea there are other ways to do it. Also, Lubrication.

It could well be - I like it when dh is fully inside and moving in small thrusts whilst also touching me, or me touching myself, or a small vibrator is also good - you can get them the size of lipsticks so they are not too intrusive. In this way we usually always orgasm at the same ish time and it feels pretty intense. So yes it is during sex, but not by penetration alone. I can't imagine how that would happen for me unless I was really turned on. I think you will need to be less shy and speak up for what you want. You are entitled to a decent sex life - just say what you want rather than what you don't want. Communication is key. You need to feel like you are part of it and have some control over it, good luck

i do. has anyone found it to be different ie not as strong following childbirth, even 4 yrs down the line? Just split with exP one reason was i was never quite satisfied, as he was small and couldnt hit the spot. i can also with the help of fantasies...

Liquid satin from Anne summers is a good lubricant - not cold at all

durex cherry lube + lots and lots of foreplay + you on top-is the best recipe for success.

You are unlikely to orgasm if you're not really relaxed and turned on.

Communication and knowing what you want, which you can only find out by reading and teaching yourself, as it were.

I don't reach orgasm thru penetration without clitoral stimulation happening at the same time. May I recommend a battery operated vibrating cock ring. Means you can do it hands free.

I think you just instinctively know what you want - it is just sometimes hard to ask for it/direct them to you getting it if you don't feel safe and secure with your partner.

I haven't read the book, but this is the only way I can actually orgasm with another person.

I cannot do it through manual or oral stimulation. Only through penetration.

I mean it's nice and all, but I don't think you're missing something very different if you can do it the other ways.

Hi OP!

You're so not on your own. I didn't used to orgasm that way, only through oral, but actually over time i've realised that if i'm controling the sex ie, i'm on top then you can get the right amount of stimulation and i'm now able to orgasm. However, it's a completely different kind of orgasm to the oral clitoral orgasm. I'd say I still prefer the latter

I can only orgasm through penetration which also has its disadvantages as I find oral a turn off and get bored quickly with manual stimulation so I want to get straight in there!
I've been told I'm weird because I don't like oral, which was nice.
I agree with the other posters that it's different stuff for different people and definitely recommend the on top leaning slightly forward grinding position!
As for after childbirth, I've found my orgasms to be better and more frequent after every child I've had and I'm pregnant with number 3 now so here's hoping that trend continues!

I qould also say, try being on top and have him let you keep going for as long as you need. And being very tired and sleepy can sometimes help, it makes you more relaxed. The embarrassment at taking too long is something that can stop this happening...though it is much quicker if you're not thinking about that

I'm one of those lucky people who can have an orgasm under any circumstances............... Such a pity I have not had sex for........oh..... I forget how many years! :(

sorry, would

Poche - I've been told that a good few times as well. I really find oral sex very boring as it does nothing for me. I think some men like to do it though, for some reason, so I have let them if they really insist.

Never cum through penetration (but faked it with my ex ). I can only cum through um, fingers n tongue

Honest answer - I can but not many men can do it - quite happy for them/me to help out but I could do it every time with one partner but not with others - though I have enjoyed sex with them in different ways.

My ex seemed annoyed that I liked extra help and wanted it to be all penis related. Others have though the extra touching was the most erotic thing ever and were delighted it was required!

Poche - I also find oral quite dull usually and have also been told I'm weird - it's so constructive!