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Original poster

New man - landline/email?

151 replies

theendishere · 05/07/2012 22:39

Been seeing some a few weeks - only have his mob number. He took longer than usual to reply to a text and it occurred to me that if phone broke or something, no way of contacting eachother, so asked him for his landline/email address. He hasn't given them to me and (apprently jokingly) called me a stalker...
was i wrong to ask?

OP posts:
akaemmafrost · 05/07/2012 23:01

Stalker?! Dump, immediately!

AKissIsNotAContract · 05/07/2012 23:02

Make up? You haven't even shagged him yet! It shouldn't be this complicated right at the start.

Original poster
theendishere · 05/07/2012 23:02

Peppa - we're not just texting - have met up 5 times and have really enjoyed his company
AKISS - temping... but - he has booked the test

OP posts:
Angelico · 05/07/2012 23:04

Everything about this sounds wrong, little alarm bells everywhere. Sorry OP - just let it go.

AKissIsNotAContract · 05/07/2012 23:04

Well with HIV you have to have a further test after 3 months. Is no-condom wearing weirdy man worth the wait?

peppapiglet · 05/07/2012 23:05

i am with AKINAC.. shouldnt be so complicated after meeting 5 times... make up is something kids do..

Original poster
theendishere · 05/07/2012 23:06

Think he prob was just joking but i'm not laughing - would now worry about calling/texting him in case i get called it again
I've not idea how things 'should be' Separated from h 4 months ago, still in same house - very stressful. Thought this new man would be fun...

OP posts:
Original poster
theendishere · 05/07/2012 23:07

Thought wih HIV it was 3 months after exposure... His lad=st gf was a year ago

OP posts:
peppapiglet · 05/07/2012 23:08

what exactly is he going to let you know tomorrow that he couldnt have included in the text?

Original poster
theendishere · 05/07/2012 23:08

Angelico - tell me more..

OP posts:
Original poster
theendishere · 05/07/2012 23:08

Yes peppa - my thoughts exactly - i've not replied :)

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 05/07/2012 23:09

The condoms thing would bother me. When you say he said it hasn't been an issue before, do you mean he's saying no-one except you has minded him not using them? Ewwwww!

But him being reluctant to give his landline/email - I think people are just different about this. I don't have caller ID on my landline so don't like giving it out, even to most of my mates, because it's annoying not knowing if the call is urgent or just someone who'll likely want to chat. It could be perfectly innocent. The important thing is, you two are obviously quite different in terms of how much contactability you want, so maybe that in itself is a reason to be a bit cautious?

akaemmafrost · 05/07/2012 23:09

Given your last post, this is a no brainer. It doesn't sound like you are in any kind of place to be starting a new relationship.

peppapiglet · 05/07/2012 23:10

that is why you are getting so attached you are still vulnerable after 4 months. he doesnt sound like much "fun" at all when you are discussing him keeping it up before you have even slept with him for the first time

AKissIsNotAContract · 05/07/2012 23:10

It doesn't matter when his last girlfriend was, it matters when his last shag was.

Original poster
theendishere · 05/07/2012 23:13

Dragon - yes i think thats what he means. fwiw there have been very few partners in the last 7 years - and i do believe him on that. he did buy some and try to use them, and as it didnt work ( i tol him it was over unless he used condoms/got tested) he booked a test
re contactability - i'm not sure, if anythign he was contacting me more before and happy to chat Just don;t know what to think. Its his birthday tomorrow too so feeling guilty now if he is genuine

OP posts:
AKissIsNotAContract · 05/07/2012 23:16

So now this twat has made you feel guilty. Seriously, the start of a relationship shouldn't be this confusing.

Original poster
theendishere · 05/07/2012 23:16

he said last shag was a year ago.
peppa - yes i wondered if it could be that i'm kind of looking for an escape. I told myself to begin with i shouldnt see him, then told myself it would just be a bit of fun, but found myself getting more and more attached to him

OP posts:
FaffTastic · 05/07/2012 23:17

Tbh if you're only Seperated from your h 4 months ago and still living in the same house, i'd walk away from this new bloke right now as it seems too soon. I understand that you probably want a bit of fun and light relief but he/what you have sounds anything but fun.

Original poster
theendishere · 05/07/2012 23:17

To be fair, he hasn't 'made' me feel guilty - i don;t like to make someone feel bad on their birthday

OP posts:
Original poster
theendishere · 05/07/2012 23:18

Faff - yes that would probably be the sensible thing to do...

OP posts:
peppapiglet · 05/07/2012 23:19

i just cant get my head around you talking about this before sleeping with him..? you were obviously talking about sleeping with each other. do you find him sexually attractive? are you in need of a s**g (sorry)... i am just shaking my head, it just doesnt feel right to me.

peppapiglet · 05/07/2012 23:20

i know what you mean and you may well need an escape... a 1 night stand sounds easier... eek

Original poster
theendishere · 05/07/2012 23:21

Yes i find him very attractive and if he'd een able to keep it with with a condom i expect it would have happend

OP posts:
Lueji · 05/07/2012 23:21

It is weird, because e-mails can be easily set up to get rid of stalker messages.
And landlines can be changed.

But not addresses.

But don't worry only about HIV. There are other STDs and not all are treatable.

Would you trust him to only last have had sex when he says he did?