Please. Somebody.

[ohgodwhatjusthappened]

DH hit toddler DS. So hard it has bruised and left a mark. On his face.

He has never done this before, ever. DS was just screaming and he lost it.

He is an amazing father and husband. He's crying and saying he will leave if I want him to.

I am in shock. I have name changed btw, regular. Please somebody help me. Please.

It is a shock. I'm past screaming rage. I just. I don't know. I'm hollow.

Get your child to A & E and tell your OH to go stay somewhere else until you contact him.

Under no circumstances is this acceptable. Ever. I don't care how 'lovely' he is usually. And I'd be telling him the same if he told me that you did it.

Your poor little baby.

I want to die

I know you feel awful OP, but your child needs you right now. You need to document this, just in case. So, take a picture at the very least if you're not going to take your son down to A&E.

Yes I have

Op, how Is your DS? Never mind how YOU feel, he I'd the one who needs priority!!

Is he really bruised? Please check him over

Where is your child now?

With me

How is your child?

How is he?

Fine in himself, smiling and chatting, playing with toys, running about. His usual self. I'll get him a snack in a minute actually.

Agree with Custardo. Bruising a child or not is often a matter of 'luck' and nothing to do with a parent showing any kind of restraint or 'holding back'.

OP... You're in shock, your husband is in shock and I think it might be a good idea to get DS out to a grandparent, friend, whatever and sit down with your husband and have a frank discussion about what happened and why and how likely it is to happen again.

MN should NOT be taken as a compass of 'Normal'; it isn't and you're under no obligation to participate in 'knee jerk' reactions based on advice from people who can only know what you've posted.

Talk to your husband NOW. That is what I would do - once DS is safely settled.

Lyingwitch, custardo can you please hold my hand. Pm me. I'd never normall ask

Wise words, Lying.

The flip side of that is that some people on here minimise things because they experience them in their own lives - verbal abuse, controlling behaviour, even physical and sexual abuse sometimes.

Can you call someone to come round?

You do realise that he has broken the law?

Childrens Act 2004

PM'd you as requested, OP. Deep breaths, you will get through this, you all will. Your DS is fine, happy and playing.

Yes, yes, listen to LyingWitch (doesn't sound right but do)

Have you sought medical advice? If there is a mark as bad as you say he needs checking out urgently.

(I meant the "Lying" bit, not her words obv)

Will duck out now you are in good hands.

All the best x

It is possible that what looks like a raised, red/purple bruise right now may well fade later and not leave a permanent bruise.

Even so it is a horrible thing to happen to a tiny child and you MUST make sure that this never, ever can happen again.

If a man did this to me out of the blue, I would leave instantly, but as he is the child's father and may be useful in other respects then of course he must continue a relationship with the child, but at all costs the risk of a repetition must be averted.

Whatever this takes - not leaving them alone together would be a priority, if it's possible OP. If you think this can be managed then there is hope.

ohchrist... You made me snort then...

I agree you need to talk to your H to find out why he snapped and to ensure that it never happens again. I'm sure we have all been driven to feeling like that, I know I have wanted to smack my child across the face out of sheer frustration when she drives me to the end of my tether but I NEVER have.

I walk away from her if she starts playing me up at bedtime so that I don't end up shouting at her. Last night she wouldn't stop jumping on the bed so I left her to it, then heard a huge crash and crying and she had slipped and bashed her head on the metal headboard :-( but at least it wasn't me that hurt her out of frustration....

My STBXH pushed my DD over out of frustration one day. I didn't kick him out over it, we had a sensible chat about why it happened and how it wouldn't happen again......

I feel horrible, I want to beat him so hard. He repulses me

Making DS' dinner, he is reading books on the sofa.