Please. Somebody.

[ohgodwhatjusthappened]

DH hit toddler DS. So hard it has bruised and left a mark. On his face.

He has never done this before, ever. DS was just screaming and he lost it.

He is an amazing father and husband. He's crying and saying he will leave if I want him to.

I am in shock. I have name changed btw, regular. Please somebody help me. Please.

I swear on Jesus Christ this has never happened. Hence why I'm posting here, for help. May God strike me down if I lie.

Else how can you know he won't do it next time?

You cannot. It's not safe any more to have him look after this child unsupervised. Sorry, that's just how it is.

Take a photograph if you can btw. Just for future reference.

NO, he hit his child hard enough to leave a bruise.

Wring all the poor DH hands you want.

He needs to go now.

You can talk later.

How is your ds?

My sex did this too. He swore he would never do it again. I swore if he ever did I would call the police. He never did do it again. But he played mind games and fucked them up that way, to the extent my 12 year old wet his bed until Nov last year when all contact with his father was cut off.

I'm not saying your husband will do the same. Just that, your husband is out of control. He abused your son when he tried to regain control. What abuse will he turn to when striking out is taken from him?

I would suggest you leave, or your partner leave and get some professional help before you decide to give him a second chance.

What a totally disgusting bully. Imagine someone 3x times your size hitting your face so hard it bruises, when you thought they loved you. Imagine that. Thats what your poor son just endured. get rid of the arsehole NOW. Theres is NO excuse ever for doing that. None.

Op, I hope you're ok. You must be so upset right now. Have no advice, just wanted to offer support.

I agree with custardo.

I thought about lamping DS this morning. I didn't do it, but I can understand why sometimes, in some circumstances, otherwise loving people are driven to lash out.

My otherwise lovely mum slapped me full across the face when I was about 13. Looking back, I deserved it. A wee one can never 'deserve' it, but they can still provoke.

What actually happened, op?

Ooops...my ex....the sex wasn't that great that I named him by it!!!

Oh, he will be leaving in a minute.

go and comfort your toddler
go and talk to your husband

get off MN and go and communicate with them

Provoked by a toddler?

No, don't buy it.

He went to put DS down for a sleep, and DS started screaming and screaming. He snapped. If it was me, I'd be staying with a friend. I'd just go, I really would.

Mickey what do I SAY? Where do I start? My world has a god almighty crack in the centre of it

He needs to leave now, to hit a child and leave a bruise is bad enough, but on the FACE of a toddler, absolutely shocking for a grown man to lose his temper to this degree with a toddler.
My 3 yo is hard work sometimes, has tantrums, bites, hits, scratches me but she has had nothing more than a telling off or a tap on the bum however much she stresses me out.
Let him go for now and talk later

He deliberately hit a 2 year old in the face hard enough that it's bruised.

How is he generally with anger? You say he hasn't done this before. Does he smack your DS? Does he shout at you/your DS? Does he break furniture/throw things?

Sorry for my emotional reation. OP I am so sorry this has happened.

and no I'm not buying anyone being provoked by a toddler either. They trust us as adults in control of ourselves to keep them safe and have no choice but to do that. To fail that innocent trust and abuse it and actually harm the child is vile.

Where is your ds now? This has just happened, if s bruise gas come up that quick you need to consider a and e

No narked, nothing like that. Placid, kind, affectionate. Jesus

There could be other damage if he is bruised

Then I'd ask him to stay at a friend/family members overnight to give you some space and plan to meet up to talk tomorrow. You're in shock and so is he.

Well he's done the right thing to go for now.

This must be a terrible shock for you, but I have to agree with Custy and babyheaves. If he's done something so out of character, which sounds like it is as you are sick with the shock, then this is not a throw the bastard out time (well not permanently yet) - it is time to ask what the heck was going on for him to react like that, could he be having some kind of crisis? He has obviously deeply shocked himself too, so things need to be worked out here.

And please, no-one is saying 'poor man' , just perhaps a chance should be given to work out what has happened here for all of you.

If you can, get a babysitter for tomorrow evening and do some serious talking and listening. If this is totally out of character behaviour from someone who is usually pleasant, kind, gentle etc there may well be things he needs to talk about. For a non-abusive person, this is the reaction of someone at breaking point.

You can't know that he's left a bruise yet, surely? The mark may v.well diminish. Not that that makes it OK, no at all, but it might not be quite as bad as it appears now (ie he might not have hit your ds as hard as you think).

It's a shitty thing to happen but I don't think this necessarily means that your dh is a monster.