No, LittleMiss, it's never just as easy as leave the bastard. 
It sounds like he is doing a pretty good job at checking up on you, making sure you are still ok to take some more shit, and being seen as such a good dad, (I mean look at all these phone calls, how normal and considerate): i don't think so, since he is not available physically or emotionally it looks more like a form of control than true concern.
But with him not being under your feet and in your house, you can analyse the situation for yourself, see where this is leading , draw your own conclusions and decide what you are going to do and how.
He has made his position clear: you at home with DCs and please don't rattle your cage, and him doing basically what he wants in a separate life.
There is not need to try and make him see this doesn't work for you and DCs.
It's no use to try and reason with him, (a concept that takes long to grasp and ages to accept).
He'll just do just what he wants, regardless of how it makes you and DCs feel.
Don't engage in sterile dicussions that leave you emotionally drained. Save your energy. Don't discuss with him your state of mind and what you might be thinking of doing.
Take your time to decide what you want to do, finalise and bombproof your next move. When you are ready and nothing he can say or do can move you, and only then, let him know.
He's throwing away a good life with you and DCs, and doing it knowingly, take a view on it. Too bad there is nothing YOU can say or do that can make him rethink his position.
Remember this when he'll start on the regrets, outrage (I was away working for you and DCs?), and convincing promises.
Sorry if too long.