Is he having an affair...with his sister?

[chelschat]

I joined mumsnet about a month ago as I thought my partner was having an affair but I had no concrete proof, then last night while giving him his obligatory fathers day 'present' he used his sisters name as he was about to come. I think I'd prefer him just to be having an affair I'm so screwed up, please help.

God I really don't know what I would say. It would depend on their age for how much detail I would tell them and how soon. I'm sure someone with more experience than me will come along with better advice than I can give - but I just wanted to say I'm really sorry about your situation

Sorry to hear this (have to ask, does she have the same name as his sister?)

As for family life, well he wrecked that by his actions, and I dont think you need to allow him to see the children every night. YOU are the one who needs a break from seeing him so that you can gather your thoughts properly, and him being in the house till they go to bed every night is not going to help you.

Tell the children that daddy has to work away for a few days, as that will be less confusing than them wondering why he keeps leaving the house. Tell him he can ring them before bedtime to say goodnight, and arrange for him to see them at the weekend out of the house.

Kids are resilient and will cope, you have to put yourself first for the moment with regards to the relationship and he needs to respect that.

Yes that's a problem isn't it - I have friends who leaned on their familes when they had similar situations, then when they decided to make a go of it their families haven't let them forget it and move on....

Do you have even just one RL friend who is your friend and not his, who you can confide in? Carrying all this on your own is hellish, I would think

Sorry to hear what has happened op.
Tell the children when you are ready, unless they are old enough to understand he has been gone and are asking questions.
Having him around every evening will be too much imo, maybe he could see them just at the weekend for now?
I hope you have some RL support ((hugs)), thinking of you op x

Squeakytoy, girl at work and sister have totally different names so not sure where nickname came from or even if I heard it properly, so confused.
RL friend? only one I have never liked him anyway, not sure I'd get support or 'I told you so'.
Sorry if I seem pathetic but I was brought up to always put kids first, so more concerned about how they react than myself at the moment. I do need a break. Thanks for support and the sense you talk.

Putting kids first is fine, but only if you yourself are coping ok. Kids pick up on distress and tension.

It is a bit like the safety advice on an aircraft really about putting your own oxygen mask on first THEN deal with the children.

Children can be fobbed off temporarily with white lies, while that give YOU the time to make rational decisions.

You dont seem pathetic, it must be a dreadful shock and you will be reeling from it.

Sorry to hear this chelschat :(

Oh, love, I'm sorry to hear that. I understand what you mean about the sister thing but, still, you've found out that you CAN trust your instincts ... and can't trust him :(

You really, really do need to take decent care of yourself now. For your kids as well as the rollercoaster to come. I bet it'll be a relief to get it all over with after being on pins for so long, but there's still a lot of heartache and practical shit to sort out. Make sure you eat. See your GP. Ring that friend who doesn't like him! Hell, even if she does say "I told you so", you can always say "You're right".

You might want to start another thread on here now that you've found out he is cheating. There's some great support from women who've been (and are going) through it.

So the above 3 posters are invaders from another forum bragging how they're just on this thread as a windup.

In case anyone was tempted to take them even a teeny bit seriously.

Op I think you should maybe ask mmhq to scrap this thread and start a new one (leaving out sil) since things have now moved on somewhat...

Ok love, whatever you say

Interesting that these men obviously fantasise about shagging their own sisters.

I wonder if they would also give their brothers one up the arse too? As we're on the subject.

Oh no doubt. It's exploding semen all round

Well, they'd shag anything with a hole wouldn't they? They probably do the pet dog as well.

If anyone doubted as to whether men think with their cocks, these 3 posters are your answer.

This thread WTF?

W T actual F??

OP, I am really sorry this has happened to you

God knows what all the deletions are about (some sick fuckers around...)

What I suggest you do is start a new thread to get some support, Mumsnet has it in spades under usual circumstances, I promise you

I think this thread is a write off, tbh