Is he having an affair...with his sister?

[chelschat]

I joined mumsnet about a month ago as I thought my partner was having an affair but I had no concrete proof, then last night while giving him his obligatory fathers day 'present' he used his sisters name as he was about to come. I think I'd prefer him just to be having an affair I'm so screwed up, please help.

This does sound bizarre, however I know someone who ended their marriage after discovering that their partner was sleeping with their own sibling.

Is this definitely a nickname that could not be related to another woman?
I would be checking phone/laptop etc for evidence.

This is a horrible situation and I am very sorry.

Exactly ^^

What did you say, if my my dh called out someone else's named he'd get a swift kick to the balls and i'd want very good explanation...if there is one for that?!

Is the sister's name popular?, if anything it is more likely he is having an affair (if any) with someone other than his sister ,unless she has a very unusual name

I was too stunned to speak. I just got up and showered for about, I don't know how long. I locked the bathroom door so he could not come in but I heard him at the door trying to explain something or other but I just stayed in the shower until he stopped trying to get in. After my shower i went and lay with my daughter. I stayed there until he went to work. I know I should slap him, punch him throw him out but I'm just sort of stunned, numb, scared

Well this isn't something you can pretend never happened surely. One way or another, you need an answer

is the search function f*ed for anyone else?

I know I need answers but... I can't face him at the moment. I don't want to see him, speak to him, just numb.

Servers "temporaly down" for me too DF

I'm sorry, I'm not saying I don't believe you but Jesus Christ, I would have demanded wanted an explanation there and then. All you've done now is given him time to concoct a story.

Hope you get it sorted.

Er yuck!

Its strange that you didn't even speak about it. I probably would have said "what the fuck!" before vomiting.

I know I should slap him, punch him throw him out but I'm just sort of stunned, numb, scared

Crikey, I shouted out the dogs name one night in the throes of passion.. only because I could hear the dog barking..

Have you actually asked him why he said her name?

If my husband called out his sisters name the last conclusion I would jump to would be that he was shagging her..

Firstly, a fry-up for breakfast is in order for Father's Day, not a shag - it was his birthday last month ffs

It's a bit of an odd to not want to talk about it at all there and then - I couldn't possibly have 'slept' on this one, - but I guess people react differently and I suppose numbness could account for that.

But you absolutely must have this out, - this could be a simple mistake - why would you want to "get rid" and assume that he's shagging his sister because of this one incident? - Have other things happened on the lead up to this?

FWIW years ago we had a family nickname for my brother (which rarely gets used these days tbh) but since having children I use a very close derivative of it for both kids and DH (never during sex mind you)

My kids got my dh a wallet and a teddy. So erm, I don't know what to say.

I still can't work this one out - as squeaky said, if my DH shouted his sisters' name out during some jiggery pokery, I would wonder if he'd started suffering from Tourettes before I would wonder if he'd been shagging her.

It's such a hideous thing to think I wonder if there's been other stuff going on in the run up to this...

I got up and went to the shower, locked the bathroom door so he could not get in. Heard him at the door but could not hear what he was saying. stayed in the shower until he stopped. I went into my daughters room and stayed there until he left at 7 this morning.

But FFS OP you really need to talk to him.

My ex did this and when confronted admitted he fancied his much younger half sister. I couldn't have him near me afterwards and the relationship sort of limped on for another six months before he left to go home to his mummy

Yes you said that, what we don't understand is why you didn't want an explanation?? What's hiding away going to solve?

Maybe I'm being callous but jaysus wept, I'd be shining a light in his eyes until I got answers !

MateyMOO that 'John' post just made me laugh out load.

Sorry OP, I don't really know what to say that other posters haven't already said. You need to talk to him and then come back and update us.

ButtonButton

I got dh an umbrella. I hope he doesn't see this thread.

He'll start expecting mugs and fry ups......

What made you think he was having an affair OP?

The Rhubarb, what can I say. My relationship is shit, I'm confused and you want to know why I'm not answering individual points, hope the same never happens to you because I'm so numb. I feel constantly sick, I want to die. PLease please keep posting your responses as at the moment I feel so alone.