Is he having an affair...with his sister?

[chelschat]

I joined mumsnet about a month ago as I thought my partner was having an affair but I had no concrete proof, then last night while giving him his obligatory fathers day 'present' he used his sisters name as he was about to come. I think I'd prefer him just to be having an affair I'm so screwed up, please help.

my adult stepson hugs his adult sisters when he sees them, he gives them a kiss too... and I have even known them to sleep in the same bed when we were all at a family party and sleeping space was minimal..
but never for one moment would they be having an affair..

I know it is not unheard of, but it is very very rare, and highly unlikely..

(it really wouldnt help here, but my stepsons partners name is the same as one of his sisters names, his ex gf's name was the name of another of his sisters.. and my eldest stepdaughter is marred to someone with the same first name as her father.. )

Ok so OP, all I'm saying is that incest is one hell of a conclusion to jump to from your P saying someone elses' name during sex (yes it's wierd, I give you that, but even so....).

So - up until that point, had he acted strangely in any other way?

oh come on op, you sound very dramatic and to jump to the conclusion that your husband is having an affair with his own sister is somewhat bizarre, and more bizarre that you then locked yourself away from him, and did not even ask him... does he even know that he said the name? did you not perhaps mishear it?

you want to die over something that may be a complete misunderstanding??

there must be a lot more to it than this if your feelings are so extreme without any proof and any facts..

bumping fuglies, (thanks)
just little things since the birth of our third, I guess I sort of struggled to cope. I've been low, struggling to get out of bed, you know not so much energy.

Exactly what squeakytoy said.

OP you sound like you're showing symptoms of depression, of course I'm no expert. Maybe go see your GP especially if you say you constantly feel sick and want to die.

Ok but what has he done to make you start suspecting something may be going on?

I am not sure this is a half termer have a friend who admitted to me that she was in love with a close family member. I was really shocked and unable to really help her as she was intent on carrying it out.

What reasons other than the "name shouting" to believe he is having an affair with his own sister?
What is the name that was called out, was it popular or pratically unheard off?
I can get why you think he is having an affair but with his sister, very unlikely

sqeakytoy, I never have been one to confront and scream. I know I know so many people scream, shout, rant, hit, but I was just so stunned. I'm not sure if he was aware. I did not stay to talk as I just wanted to get away from him. Its not how I expected the weekend to go. yes I could have misheard, yes I could be mistaken. I know what I should be doing because I've given the same advice to friends in the past, shout, scream, hit, rant but now I'm in this situation, I can't seem to follow up my own advice.

Not just the subject matter but style of posts noddy.

I'll leave her to it though.

Yes I agree with that tbh but just wanted to say its not that unusual

I don't really think you're at the 'scream shout rant hit bit' yet

have you actually asked him about it?

I'd take that as Step 1.

nobody is suggesting you shout or scream, or rant..

if it were me I would have been too busy laughing at what I would have assumed to be a rather embarassing slip of the tongue.. the last thing I would have thought was that my husband was sleeping with his sister, that just isnt rational I would say..

you are not in any "situation" other than by your own doubt here, and now that you have said it could have been you mishearing it, that makes it even more silly not to have said "what did you just call me?", and see what his reply was.. , absolutely no need to flounce off and get yourself into a state like this at all!

How long have you and DP been together Chels?

pumpkinsweetie, nothing concrete just little things, subtle changes, as I said, I've been tired and low since the birth of our third, but just something. That's why I joined mumsnet in the first place. working bit later, can't say less affectionate because I've not been feeling very sexual lately either.

bumpingfuglies, since 2004,

If you aren't sure if he himself was aware of what he said then the likelihood of finding a plausible explanation is very small...you've missed your chance. Should have asked him there and then, nobody said you should have screamed/yelled/hit anyway! A simple 'wtf?' would suffice.

I mean what makes you think the fancy woman is his sister ? Has he been in touch with her a lot lately? too close to her etc?

I once called my cat Dad. Doesn't mean anything, although I wasn't just about to climax at the time so not exactly the same thing.

I think you've jumped to a massive, horribly unlikely conclusion. If he did actually say what you think he said (do people actually call out names when they're on the job, really?), he's probably so scarred from his mistake that he'll never be able to have sex with anyone ever again.

So how sure are you that you heard him say this name? If it's a nickname, could it be easily confused with another word? How long has he been acting strangely? You said you want to get rid - have you had problems before? Sorry, lots of questions.

Does he usually call out names during sex?

Unless they are stepbrother and sister, or were adopted by his parents, then you need to get a grip.
This isn't Flowers in The Attic, you know.

pumpkinsweetie, he has two mobiles, one home, one work so I can't be sure. It sounds stupid as I type it and cliched, but its just a general feeling that I've been getting.

Thanks everyone for support. My mam is having the kids tonight, I know I should have sorted it last night, but now I feel that I must get an answer. Thank you to everyone who gave me support.