The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the Summer Filled With Luscious Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I used to drink far too much. Too much vodka to be exact, then too much wine, then too much cider....... you can imagine how it went.

This Bus is full of people like me, and people like you actually. Sober people, drinkers, a few not surers, and those who are simply 'somewhere'.

The one thing that we have in common is that we can/do/did/will abuse alcohol.

Some for a number of years, some months, some for their entire adult (and before) lives.

The support here is for everyone. Those in AA, those who are taking medication to help, those going it alone, those with the support of others. We're all here for the same reason.

Why not come and say hello? We are all so very different in our every day lives but we all have a common theme.....

And, for those who want to see where all of this began 2 years ago, HERE IS a link to all of the past Bus rides.

Thanks Babes! We will be celebrating at the weekend, they will have champagne, I will see what M & S can offer in sparkly fruity loveliness. It wouldn't be a celebration for my family to see me drinking again.

Soma I still have the boing! I am 'allowed' a glass of wine with dinner tonight but I ate really early with DD because I was hungry (and it was leftovers) so didn't have any. DP just poured a glass of red and asked me if I wanted one. I averted my eyes from his glass and declined!

Bproud what fantastic news! You must indeed B very very proud today!

mia wow, your DH asked if you wanted a glass of wine? does he know you're trying to cut down? You are very strong to resist!

My DH has warned me that he will be drinking on Friday night (something about football, apparently?) so I need to plan my, umm, plan, in advance.

Hello Babes, room for a small one?

Hope you don't mind , but I've been reading these threads for a little while and feel it's about time I joined. You seem like such a lovely group.

I'm an Alcoholic with 2 beautiful children and really need some help to stop before my life implodes.

Is there anyone else out there who feels that they have spent so uch time screwing up their life with drink that it seems churlish to stop?

I know this is not rational but I'm so scared of being sober and having to face up to all the stuff I've done and crap I've caused.

I can go a good few days without alcohol but once I start, I cant stop.

I drink during the day sometimes.

Can anybody relate to this? I feel so alone.

Saf thanks, it's what I need to hear. And yes, the prescription is for 1-2 5mg tabs up to 3 times a day (although I'm only taking half that). At the recovery group I went to yesterday, a woman told us she'd been addicted to diazepam for 12 years and getting off it was hell. She said withdrawal was so bad she couldn't close her eyes at night at all.

I'm weak when it comes to drugs, I'm ashamed to admit it but I must tell her to get me off them pronto. It just seems so much better than being pissed out of my brain, drink-driving, falling down the stairs etc because I just feel calm/slightly fuzzy and in control but I know it can't go on and I'll become quickly addicted to something else. I hope it's not too late to come off them pretty quickly and then it's just me and the antabuse. BTW I don't feel drugged to the eyeballs at all, must have really high tolerance. And that's VERY scary. Time to face life without any props but am still grateful that I have no desire to drink.

Bproud what a proud mum you must be! What's her degree in and does she have career plans? Limit when I first posted here about going to see my GP, somone suggested that I write a list of everything I wanted to discuss and you can either read that straight off or use it as a prompt. It'll help not only you but the GP as well. You can try it on us first if you want! Be excited about your visit, not scared, it's the beginning of something that can change your life. x

I lurk on here (currently 6 months sober)

Just felt the need to broach the subject of benzo use and alcohol detox/recovery.

Soba-your 30mg Valium a day prescribed is worrying tbh.

I know that sometimes Valium is used in alcohol detox BUT Librium is the preferred med in the very early stages of withdrawal and usually this is a daily monitoring via a health professional (detox nurse or gp).how do I know? Because I've been through a community detox(at home in other words) last year and I was only on Librium for a week and then my dose was reduced while being monitored.

I would go back to your gp and discuss the very high risk of addiction via Valium.Oh and Valium kills your appetite too,hence you not feeling hungry.

Sorry to butt in.

BOING!! hello george! nope! you arnt alone!! you sound just like us! welcome! - nothing you say will shock or surprise us!

bproud how lovely! have a wonderful celebration!

Thanks Annie more ammo for me and the doc. And welcome George, you're absolutely not alone, tell us anything, ask away, this place is a haven where lots of lovely women can be totally honest with eachother and give and receive help.

Make sure you stay, it's so worth it - am a relatively new babe (only about a month) but simply can't imagine life without this place.

BProud Yay, yay, yay!!! Congratulations that's wonderful news

Joey I don't know about the time you start thinking about a drink being an indicator of how serious the problem is but, for me, it often does come down to sugar again. If you don't eat breakfast your blood sugar level will drop and our brain have come to associate alcohol with a quick and easy source of sugar.

On the other hand, when I was drinking, I could drink pretty much any time of the day or night so, who knows. The earliest on waking was probably champagne breakfast at 8am on Christmas morning .

Joey are you planning to not drink on Friday? If so, my suggestions would be to plan something to do for each half hour and include an early meal and lots of different non alkie drink choices. Maybe buy a bag of ice, it makes a nice 'chink' in a glass of sparkling water. And post on here often to help remind yourself of why you're doing it.

Hello George and welcome to the bus

Stick around and let us know how you're getting on each day. Are you planning on stopping completely?

Hi Annie well done on 6 months, that's brilliant! You will have a lot of valuable experience to share so feel free to butt in

Thank you Jesus! (That sounds a little strange in my head) I guess it's all part of my alcoholic brain but I'm worried that Im worse than a lot of you and have done things you would all judge me for.

Oh well, admitting my alcoholism on here is a big start anyway.

it's all very weird, given I have been sober for 8 months due to pregnancy, thought I was cured, obviously not.

Really hate myself.

george welcome to the bus, I have no useful advice (other than - keep posting!) but someone wiser than me will be along soon.

faire I don't know what I'm going to do on Friday (but glad I have time to think about it!) I would like to be able to enjoy a glass or two - without getting anxious about it or it becoming an issue. Right now I don't know if thats possible.

george honestly you are not in any way the worst, and anyway its an illness right? so not your fault. We have all been there, and hated ourselves - you have made the first step by boarding the bus.

Remind me joey of what you would normally have drunk on a Friday night in the past.

Went to second meeting today. A lunch time one. It was me and three older blokes. Not comfortable to be honest.

I'm going to keep attending AA because I felt so enthused after my first meeting, despite the fact that it was mostly older men (there were a few women at that one too...) and because whatever barriers of age and gender there might be, I need to get and stay sober and that's more important.

But I really don't feel comfortable spilling my guts in front of strange men. It doesn't feel safe. I can't open up about some of the stuff I've done when I'm drunk in front of blokes. And I'm terrified I'll cry in front of them - it would be awful.

So when it came my turn to share today, I was just like, "My name's Fuckit and I'm an alcoholic. It runs in my family and if I keep on drinking, I'm fucked." And that was more or less it (I didn't actually say fucked by the way). Because honestly, can you imagine saying to a group of men in their fifties/sixties that you've woken up in a strange mans bed and not known for a minute where you were? There's just no way I'm doing that - not now and not ever.

I really wish there was a women only group near me

I just feel so bloody resentful today. I don't want to be an alcoholic. I never asked for this. I want to be a normal drinker. I don't want to have to sit around with a bunch of old geezers reciting the serenity prayer. It just isn't on my list of enjoyable things to do.

Thank you so much (not sure how to do the bold individuals yet but will find out)!

I just keep thinking I am the worse case on here but know that logically thinking I probably am not.

You are all such an inspiration to me but I just feel I can't ever get where you are because it would mean facing up to too many uncomfortable truths such as I've wasted my life so far and I think my marriage is over.

It somehow seems easier to keep drinking even though I know that makes no sense.

Sorry to be talking about myself so much, but I'm in a bit of a dark place at the moment.

Thanks so much to all who have responded.

Much welcome to you George. I don't honestly think there is a 'better' or 'worse' when it comes to alcoholism. It's just a question of how far down the road you've travelled. I am fortunate enough to be dealing with my alcoholism before I have lost my license and my children and all my friends. But all those things could have happened, and still could easily happen to me if I carry on drinking.

There's no judgement here. I have done truly truly dreadful things whilst drunk. The thought of it is enough to drive a woman to drink!

hey george - to bold a name put an asterisk before and after the name
welcome to the bus. I'm about as much use as a chocolate fireguard right now but welcome anyway.

George you have been very brave to post today. You have taken that first step and you are in a very safe place. No-one will judge you, no-one will be shocked.

You did well to stay off it for 8 months. How old is your youngest now if you don't mind me asking?

thanks Fuck and Demented Hope that worked!

I look at my babies and know I need help beforebtheybareermanently damaged, can you recommend AA? Am a bit scared of it tbh!

Am off to bed no as will be up 3 times with the youngest DC probably but Will check back in tomorrow.

Hope you all manage a sober night.

nearly worked george. don't leave any spaces.
stay with us - this is a good place.
indie where are you at with marriage plans? have I missed the big day?

Ooh I hope not ma because then I will have missed it too and we all need to hold hands across the airways and send our collective love and 'happy ever after' vibes

Thank you for the welcome

For those that don't fancy AA there is another option,SMART recovery groups.

It's a cbt based support group which also has online resources and forum and 24hr chat room.

I think uk coverage is patchy with regards to face to face groups but do have a google,if AA isn't for you for whatever reason it could be for you.

Thanks Annie am just looking at that now. I stayed sober today (day 1) - don't feel too bad really...

thats' interesting annie I will look that up

george don't worry, we're all at different stages here - in fact there are different deckers of the bus for those in different stages, there's even a sidecar for people not quite on the bus - and no-one judges or condemns.

faire normally I would have 3-4 glasses of wine. Then prowl round the house to see if theres any leftover gin (which there isn't because I asked DH to hide it for me) Then get irritable and cross because I want more. End up going to bed late and not getting enough sleep. Repeat at least 3 times a week.

Am desperately trying to make a habit of going to bed earlier, but insomnia is a problem drunk or sober

Evening, tis me, Mouse

A late post for me but I wanted to say welcome to the new posters/non lurkers and also that life at this time of night used to mean a new bottle of wine would be opened. As my life stands right now, I'm about to open a bottle of mouthwash after cleaning my teeth!

Ma - your input is cool no matter what it is, don't you dare disappear just because you're not sober. We need you xx

Jesus - good to have you here so much.

venus - hope you're okay and that your DD is too? Not seen a update of late.

Right, bed for me. Just been catching up on recorded TV. I'm shattered now!

Night night Babes,

Mouse xxxx