Morning, tis me, Mouse 
Fire - go for it lovely, using that line is cool by me. I have to say I love reading your posts , there's an edge of savvy and a dash of subtle humour to them which makes me 
.
Re the 'thing' that 'no counsellor could/can ever fix' - me too. I have boxes that are full of things that can never be fixed, locked tight and are in the furthest, darkest part of my mind.
I've had plenty of attempts at opening them, both professionally and personally. Neither worked and made me incredibly uncomfortable with myself. I felt scared, alone, shamed, fragile and so very vulnerable. I can't talk about what's in those boxes anymore. I have left them gathering dust and for now, that's okay with me.
Mind you, there's not as many as I had before boarding the Bus....... I've been for two years (I think) and know that this Bus has helped me see that I'm not alone in my quest to feel 'normal' or safe or loved or happy or content in my own skin.....my own mind.
Vodka used to be my weapon of choice, or white wine. I used to stand in the 'wines & spirits' aisle at the supermarket reading the alcohol content on each bottle, just to make sure I was getting at least 13%..... 
As others have posted, I'd go into a shop and the member of staff would know why I wanted, go get it and scan it... bag it.... I'd pay and leave. I'd have a handful of shops I'd buy from..... I'd rotate them so I wasn't going into the same shop each day, or even twice a day.
I'd hide empties wherever I could, go to the recycling bins in different areas, my job meant I was able to dispose of them all over the place.
Most of the Babes will be reading this nodding and cringing a little.....
Like I said, that was me. It's not who I am now but the numbing fuzz of alcohol used to make the mental and physical scars hurt less...... even just for a few hours.
Whatever it is that you did Fire - will never go away, you can never turn back the clock BUT you can stop hurting yourself. I have no idea what you 'finished' but maybe it's about time you started to finish how it is hurting you sweetheart.
Take the power away, stick it in a box and bury it deep if you don't want to talk about it or acknowledge it out in the open (counselling), then use this Bus (as the wise venus has said) to create a place full of buffers, and friendly faces who won't judge you at all.
We've all got something we regret..... there's always something that we'd do differently, or take back. That doesn't make you a bad person Fire, it makes you human and the very fact that you posted about it already, tells me that you are on your way to being the person YOU want to be.
Stay Brave xx
PS - not read back so sorry for typos