The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the Summer Filled With Luscious Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I used to drink far too much. Too much vodka to be exact, then too much wine, then too much cider....... you can imagine how it went.

This Bus is full of people like me, and people like you actually. Sober people, drinkers, a few not surers, and those who are simply 'somewhere'.

The one thing that we have in common is that we can/do/did/will abuse alcohol.

Some for a number of years, some months, some for their entire adult (and before) lives.

The support here is for everyone. Those in AA, those who are taking medication to help, those going it alone, those with the support of others. We're all here for the same reason.

Why not come and say hello? We are all so very different in our every day lives but we all have a common theme.....

And, for those who want to see where all of this began 2 years ago, HERE IS a link to all of the past Bus rides.

Thank you Joey...it really is a help to know that other people feel the same way and I'm not some odd genetic mutation! Yes you are so right about numbing the feelings...I do like the feeling though when I am exercising and fitter and it's a day-long buzz rather than a couple of hours.

I guess this all takes a lot of working out...and at least this thread is cheaper than therapy :-) I am also trying to figure out what it actually is...I mean, why does boredom or loneliness make you want a drink? I do think it's a bit of rebellion for me...a kind of screw you all, I'm having a drink. Having written that down it makes no sense either!

Don't get evangelical though...even tougher if you slip off the bus lol!

I find there are lots of reasons to drink. If you want to drink, you will find a reason - boredom, tiredness, stress, lonliness, hunger, anger, celebratory . . .

The point is if you think you are drinking too much/too often and it's a problem for you, then it's a problem. How much is too much? I would say, when you start to question it.

Anyway, welcome cantchange, grab a seat and make yourself comfortable

So I went along to the meeting today and I was running late and really nervous. I just legged it into the room and grabbed a seat. It was only after about 20 minutes I realised I was in the wrong room at an al-anon meeting. I figured something has guided me here so (that and not wanting to be rude) I sat and listened. It was harrowing to say the least. I felt such pain and misery in the room and this was people in their 50s and 60s talking about the effects of growing up with alcoholic parents. It was an eye opener. I don't want my little girl sitting in that room in 15, 20, 30 years time. Will go back and hopefully find the right room next time.

Stand to attention you bloody lot

I'm not back yet - just checking in.

Things are complicated and hard at the moment.

venus - your wisdom astounds me

ma - if I can, so can you

mouse - just respect

jwn - thank you for having the courage

my brain is fried and I am off to bed little babes old and new.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

yes, was the programme on bbc 4 - the part that really got me was towards the end, ozzy speaking as a sober person, i just sat there and thought 'i know that man, that man knows me, we know each other inside out' felt very odd but very comforting!

cantchange, just to throw in to the mix - could you be bored and lonely because you drink too much? i know my life was very very narrow when i was drinking, it has expanded, widened, become richer and far more interesting since i stopped drinking!

silver!!! ((((((hug))))!

I am struggling to give up binge drinking at the weekends. I drink as I can't handle my emotions and because I am struggling with single motherhood. I always drank alot before becoming a mum. I think I just drink to handle my lack of love life.

skippy well done you for being brave and making the effort to go to the 'meeting' (even though it wasn't the one you expected) - sometimes just taking any kind of action is the right thing to do.

cantchange I wonder what it is in life that makes us expect life to be sparkling and buzzy and exciting every moment (and to feel dull and bored when it's not) and yet paradoxically for us to crave deep peace, freedom from anxious thoughts, and a few moments of stillness? Maybe we're taking too much from external perspectives of how things ought to be, when in reality we should listen more to what is actually going on for us at THIS MOMENT inside?

And speaking of 'this moment', I must get on with my work - which is why I got up early in the first place. Have a good day everyone x

Ok day 3. I'm up so early on a Sundsy because I had an awful nights sleep. Tossing and turning, worried that I've done long term damage to myself!

I'm happy that the decision of not drinking has been made for me. But terrified that despite not drinking for a month, the let results will still come back wrong.

This is going to be a long month.

School holidays too!!!!

#Sunday and #let.

#lft!!! Typing on my phone, sorry x

I hope that I am able to jump on board. I have been on the bus before but different name.

I need some support in stopping drinking - which is a bad habit that is getting out of hand.

My DP also needs to consider stopping and drinks considerably more than me. We have talked about it together, but I have heard him (usually whilst drinking) state so many times that he is giving up for a month/year/until Christmas etc. So I am going to start this on my own and if he wants to join me he can!

So, this is what has been happening - put youngest DC to bed, pour glass of wine, cook a bit, watch a bit of TV, pour another glass, chat with DP, pour another glass of wine etc.... I'm sure you get the picture.

SO worried about my health, bad influence to DCs and bank balance!

Although I haven't been on the bus for some time, I have been a regular lurker and I am impressed with so many of the stories I have read.

silver!!! are you still off the booze? i am bloody impressed.
How are you?
I did chuck the last glass down the sink last night rather than drink it, so I suppose that's something...

ma do you know I always take heart from the fact that you are still here, and still posting. When I was stuck in the seemingly endless cycle of drinking/giving-up/drinking/giving-up/drinking.... I am pretty certain that I'd have fallen off the bus as well as the wagon. Yet here you are still posting about a glass of wine chucked away - because it IS all an achievement. All of us on here know exactly how damn hard it is can be to do this, any part of it. I am glad that you always post. It is the reality of this journey, and I applaud you for keeping on keeping on.

whitealbum sound like a good plan to do what is right for YOU.

Ma I too love your posts. So full of honesty and, at times, despair, but also, as Venus says, bloody-minded determination. If I can ever hear someone in my head saying Oh fuck off you fucker to a bottle of wine, it's you ma.

So many of us know exactly where you are and how all consuming it can be. You are a strong, brave babe with gorgeous, talented daughters and a delightful, loving little son, growing stronger every day. I believe in you. I think you can get there

Wow busy weekend on the bus! Welcome to all new babes (I still don't feel like I have any right to say that - that I'm not a proper babe as I'm still drinking or haven't posted long enough or whatever).

Silver well done on not drinking with all the pain you must be feeling at the moment.

Daisy I know it's worrying about your lft, but take the opportunity to convert this worry into determination to heal your liver and yourself.

Greyhound "Now I know that alcoholism is in my mother's birth family. She's only been in touch with them for the last few years, so now I know that there is problem drinking in my genes." Ditto for me but particularly on my father's side (although my maternal grandmother was a bit of a drinker too). I do think there's a genetic influence.

Pretty good weekend here. Went to MIL's yesterday to celebrate her birthday (last week) and DP's. I always drink too much and usually end up staying up much too late talking drunkenly with my SIL (who doesn't drink much at all ). Yesterday I was more restrained than usual (I restricted my excess to cake rather than wine) and we all went to bed around 10pm! I did drink a fair bit, but slowly and steadily. I recently bought a breathalyzer because I don't want to risk being over the limit the day after drinking. We all did it at bedtime and I was only a bit over the limit, so wasn't too excessive. I didn't sleep that well but felt much better today than I usually feel and it was really nice not to feel hungover.

hello babes, I've come upstairs because my nerves can't take any more of the tennis (Murray currently 2-1 set down )

Welcome to any new babes & thanks for your interesting post venus about expecting life to be buzzy and sparkling, yet also needing peace and stillness... lots to think about there

mia where did you get your breathalyzer?

thank you venus and faire. Your posts mean a lot and have given me new heart.

Just checking in. Glad your weekend went well Mia, great idea about self-breathalyzing! I shudder to think at the amount of times I drove well over the limit....

Had a really nice today, parents and one brother up for lunch, watched the tennis and all without a single drop of wine (they shared a bottle). Normally I would have opened one at about 11am when I started cooking and knocked back at least a bottle and a half without anyone realising how pissed I was, but no desire to today.

Yes Venus' posts are always inspirational, peace of mind is for me the most important thing, I just couldn't face any more drama. Am promising myself an early night, keep waking at 5am and can't go back to sleep. Am reading a wonderful book called Pack of Two by Caroline Knapp (the author of Drinking A Love Story). It's all about the subsequent love affair she had with her dog and I can really relate to it :)

hi soma glad to hear you had a good day without alcohol! How is Alfie? Has he stopped peeing everywhere?

Following on from Soma mentioning a good book. Can anyone recommend a book about stopping drinking? I would like to be able to pick up a book for inspiration. Rather than google telling me about liver disease!!!!

Morning. back from holiday. back on day 2.

Will catch up later, just wanted to check in x

Joey it was £39 in Halfords - cheaper than Amazon. Here it is.

Morning Darlinks

Gosh, it feels like ages since I've written on here.
(two weeks maybe?)

I have been trying to read and keep up, and everyone sounds like they are pretty positive and so many of you doing so brilliantly.

The last couple of weeks have been very hectic, with one thing and another, but, now, here I am on my first day of hol, first summer for 22 years that Dh and I are on our own . Thank you for your pm Venus, definite food for thought there, and have started to act!!!

OK on the wine front, not totally abstemious, but generally allright, apart from last Saturday night, when I had a major wobble about the summer, and got through 1 and a half bottles of wine during the evening, to try and stop feeling anxious about just about everything (durrr!!!!) .

Anyway, does this sound pathetic?, I have sort of made a plan for the next few weeks, alloted my day (quite loosely) into "bits". Gym and swimming in the morning, then home and "jobs", and bits and pieces, then 2 hours work on my dissertation in the afternoon, to get me past the incredibly very overpowering strong urge for a glass of wine at 5.30, which will, of course descend into no dinner, and no gym the next morning. Do you think I'm setting myself up for a fail, or is it worth a try?

I went this morning, and I feel great, first time for ages that I've done some excercise that isn't just walking about, or running between classes!

Very sorry for the me, me, me post. One of the reasons I haven't posted is that I don't think I will be much good at giving advice to anyone, as I am nowhere near "out the other side", and am travelling along trying to do what I know is best for me, but not having it come easily, most of the time.

Sending love to all, MrsMouse the Mouseface are you ok sweetheart?, haven't "seen" you on here at all lately. Big hugs to you xxx
Indie hope you having a fab honeymoon!
Ma How are you my old long time matey?
Silver hang in there xxx

JWN are you still being tied up by your trainer?!!!!
Sorry not to namecheck everyone, hello to all new Babes, and Babedogs!!

xxxx T xxxxxx

Day 4. Feel okay. I downloaded Allen Carr last night. Read until well past midnight!! The book seems to work for me. Although I haven't got to his solution yet, Easyway or whatever it is. He makes stopping seem within reach for everyone. Not so straight forward I feel.