The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the Summer Filled With Luscious Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I used to drink far too much. Too much vodka to be exact, then too much wine, then too much cider....... you can imagine how it went.

This Bus is full of people like me, and people like you actually. Sober people, drinkers, a few not surers, and those who are simply 'somewhere'.

The one thing that we have in common is that we can/do/did/will abuse alcohol.

Some for a number of years, some months, some for their entire adult (and before) lives.

The support here is for everyone. Those in AA, those who are taking medication to help, those going it alone, those with the support of others. We're all here for the same reason.

Why not come and say hello? We are all so very different in our every day lives but we all have a common theme.....

And, for those who want to see where all of this began 2 years ago, HERE IS a link to all of the past Bus rides.

Some people have found Allen Carr quite helpful I believe. I haven't read it myself but I did read the stopping smoking one and, provided you buy into his (very sensible imo) approach, it can be a great aid.

Thurso fab to hear from you again. I think the schedule is a good idea, gives some structure to the day and a plan to avoid the 'trigger time'. I think I need to make a similar schedule to help get through all the jobs I've been putting off.

I'm going to have a couple of days off at the begining of the holidays, then make a list and get cracking. I liked Saf's idea of making a start, even if the job isn't finished the same day, it will get done because it has too

I need to get a man in to sort out some maintenance jobs, then I need to redecorate, sort out cupboards, scrub the house from top to bottom, get myself and dcs to dentist, optician, etc. It's going to be a busy summer. Good job I'm not drinking, I wouldn't get half of that done!

Last week's diet was very successful, I lost 5lb . Wouldn't have done that if I was drinking either.

Have a good evening all x

Hi Thurso, if it makes you feel any better, I was advised by the cashier in Iceland where I buy my cheap wine that I really should get a bonus card, given 'how often you are in here'. Oh, the shame. A regular booze buyer at Iceland.

Your plan sounds very good - good idea to plan your day.

Faire Sorting out cupboards, well wardrobes was what I did today. Wouldn't have done it if I was hungover. = A very chuffed with myself feeling

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Sorry but I have no clue what's gone on, I've missed too many pages but I hope everyone is okay? Big cheesy {{{{hugs}}}} to those in need.

Welcome to the new Babes , you're in very good, warm, varied and empathetic hands here. Always.

Sorry I've been AWOL..... RL has been a tad cruel to some of the people in my life, and all in a short space of time too. However, I took the decision to deal with it all sober, amazingly, it was an easy one to make. Normally, I'd get pie-eyed and block the lot out. It never brought my loved ones back, it only made me feel physically worse so I decided against it.

I have also bought a walking frame to help me to get out of bed in the mornings.... DH has been sleeping in Nemo's room as the poor little chap hasn't been so great. As most of you know, a cold for him = horrific breathing issues with the amount of mucus he produces (sorry if you're eating), and his cough makes him vomit.

Plus DH has a cough. Now the ladies on this Bus will know what I mean by 'he's got a cough'....... it's not just any cough, this is an M&S oak reared cough, drizzled with the finest snot , gold plated, hacking, lung wrenching cough that has been dormant for less than two months and is back again.

So, I've told him he's going for a full MOT (Ma - shall I let you know when and where? )

I got myself a zimmer walking frame as I've been getting stuck in bed, not being able to get up because of the pain and having to lie there waiting for DH to come and move me. The frame is next to the bed and so are my pain meds so that should I need them, instead of having to go down to the kitchen, I have them to hand.

I'm struggling to come to terms with my disability getting worse, which it is, and having to adapt my life around it. I feel clumsy and useless at times. I want Nemo to have the whole me, and DD and DH..... I do often wonder why he stays some days. I know that sounds dramatic, I suppose it is. Meh, there are worse things in life than my disability.

Life's to short to worry about things out of your control.....

Right, bedtime for DD, and Nemo. He's uber cute currently, he said that "he neeeeeds ice-ceem and chocc chocc buttons an cwisps pweeeze mamma bear" - he melts my heart.

Night Brave Babes - back tomorrow xx

Gosh mouse not being able to get out of bed sounds dreadful. I've been feeling sorry for myself because of my neck problems. Puts things in perspective!

Phew, finished reading Allen Carr. Mmm, not sure.

hey mouse if your DH is that snotty i think I'll give him a miss for a while, if that's ok with you
thurso good to see you my friend. hows yer sex life?
I forced myself to have a cup of tea when I came in, rather than reach for the bottle. I then had one glass of red and poured another and realised i acxtually wasn't enjoying it so chucked it out and had hot chocolate.
so. a better day than usual.

thurso if I was type of girl who did 'mwah' 'mwah', I'd do it - lovely to see your post (and I've no recollection of what I pm'd so I'll have to go back and look at that). Having a plan sounds good - but can you guess what might be your weak point? e.g. I know that if I did not have a definite commitment the following morning, then I'd have persuaded myself the previous evening that a glass of wine was a better idea. So how about getting a coach/trainer at the gym - some one you have to answer to each week? Or paying for a tutor for your dissertation - someone you have to answer to every couple of weeks? Or post photos on here of the list of 'things' you need to do at home, and then post new photos as you cross them off your list.

Hmm, maybe I'm the only one who need external pressure to get on with things??? My biggest difficultly is doing anything remotely active. I hate exercise. I like being outdoors, I like a stroll in the sunshine, but I really dislike anything that makes me feel hot / sweaty / out of breath. If I could stroll gently through fields all day long, I would, but please don't ask me to exert myself for 20 seconds -and I know that it's not good for me.

mouse - you want nemo to have the whole you. Well guess what, I think that when he has your sober mind, he has the whole of you. A 'mamma bear' who is there for him with all her heart and soul, anticipating his needs, reacting to pressures, engaged and involved - that's what he needs the most. And maybe exactly the same for your dh too.

I think if I offered my dp a choice of a physically healthy but pissed venus, or a sober disabled venus, I do think I know which one he'd choose - there was only one of those options that was leading to the end of our relationship.

Good morning dear Mouse, what a good idea to get a frame to make things easier for you in the morning and what a shame DLN (dear little Nemo) has got yet another of each coughs (you know I know what they're like because June's are the same and she's been to the docs for a recent MOT too :) ) Venus has it spot on yet again (waves), far better for Nemo to have the lovely sober mouse rather than her pissed equivalent.

"My biggest difficultly is doing anything remotely active. I hate exercise. I like being outdoors, I like a stroll in the sunshine, but I really dislike anything that makes me feel hot / sweaty / out of breath." Exactly Venus (I have the same thoughts yet again). I know you don't like them, but you could get a dog like mine (big smug grin). He trots along obediently at my side and does everything he's told (well moreorless). Alfie's turned out to be a gem, it was all there, just waiting for him to find a loving home and now it's all coming out. No pissing indoors anymore thanks Joey and how are you BTW? I get up at 6.30am because I don't want to have to rush to get to work and so I can take him for a nice long walk, hopefully today in semi-sunshine if I get a move on. I just lurve him.

I had a lovely dream last night (obviously during the half an hour I managed to sleep, insomnia is horrendous) where someone was trying to make me do something I didn't want to by offering me 3 bottles of wine and I said, "that's not going to work, I don't drink." Maybe connected to my decision not to have drunken sex anymore? SexToyMan has texted me from the Italian mountains but have only replied to the first one since it costs 24p to do so! I'd rather not have any more contact from him whilst he's away and just wait and see what he does when he's back at the weekend. I know I can let go and let what will be will be.
Major development!!!

Despite everything being so positive in my life right now, I've developed a really bad case of anxiety which doesn't seem controllable by my normal dose of SSRI. I've decided not to up it though and see if it passes; I know that nothing will make me drink and I'd like to find new ways of dealing with it. Probably it's all to do with pets, stress at work, potential new man, DD's hectic social life etc etc. Gave into her over the weekend and she's getting a Blackberry (a white one of course) but it's only £13 a month on contract from Vodafone - plenty of free texts/minutes/BBM/internet so bit of a bargain methinks. She's a sensible girl and I know she won't abuse the privelege (also she managed to persuade tightwad ex-H is to pay towards it, the girl's a genius).

And well done Ma for making the hot chocolate decision last night. Have a good day everyone, and a hello to all new babes. x

gosh you were up early this morning soma! I'm so glad that Alfie has settled down, I guess he was very anxious after all his traumas and hopefully he is a lot more relaxed now.

It's really great that you are not turning to alcohol despite your anxieties and insomnia. You sound so strong and determined!

I promised myself I wouldn't drink until my birthday which is next week. After 5 weeks sober, I'd hoped that friends and family would see me and say things like "Wow, you don't look your age!" etc but right now I feel about 10 years older! Physically I'm a bit run down... also a bit of a hypochondriac...

On the plus side - mentally, I DO feel better without the booze - not stressed or obsessing. Not even sure if I want to have a drink next week. I'd like to but don't want to get back into bad habits. Slippery slope etc.

mouse its good to hear from you, I hope you are managing okay.

Joey, yes the new me gets on up really early! Like you I don't feel great physically and I'm sure I look 10 years older too because of lack of sleep (although I've lost a significant amount of weight) but for me it's the MENTAL side of things which at the moment is more important. I really don't want to drink, not now, not next week and that's as far ahead as I'm looking. Stangely my caffeine addiction seems to have gone as well and too much coffee now just makes me feel wired. Has anyone else found that when they've given up alcohol? The only other time I've been off caffeine (and booze luckily) was when I was pregnant, very similar to that.

5 weeks is brilliant, you should feel proud of yourself and try not to worry what other people do or don't say. Isn't it great not to feel stressed and not to be obsessing? Life without those negative feelings can be so much better don't you think? Why risk going back to that by having a drink on your birthday and getting back on the slippery slope again? Come and vent here and we'll tell you how well you're doing. It's only a birthday after all, I wish I could ignore mine these days but hey ho xx

Hi all, hope everyone is feeling fine.

I must admit that on Day 5 I am feeling much less tired and I feel a strong resolve for the first time in 4 years, nearly 5 actually. I pretty much started drinking again after my second DC was born. He'll be 5 quite soon!

I think the Allen Carr book has helped. The whole "devastation" thing and thinking about alcohol as a poison do resonate with me. I certainly don't have any urge to have a drink today. Of course, it's the holidays and friends will have other ideas! That's when my reslove will be truly tested.

It's been a quiet day on here - and guess what? We slipped off the first page!

Hope people are having a quiet evening and not struggling on alone.

We can't be slipping babes! keep the chat up and keep us on page 1 so new babes can find us

Morning, I may lurk more than I post but this thread has been a lifeline for me and many others so come on everyone, lets have a "Check-In Day", everyone old and new, check in and let us know how things are with you today?

Day 6. Have a headache today, but at least not alcohol induced.

My DH handed me an ice cold beer last night!! I turned it down

I really didn't want a drink. DH said he was thirsty and i actually heard myself say "alcohol doesn't quench your thirst"

Have a lovely day babes Dx

Well done on Day 6 Daisy and huge congrats on refusing the beer - you are right alcohol doesn't quench your thirst:)

Checking in.

Week 4 and a bit. Just been to the docs for a blood test because I feel very run-down. If I'd been drinking, I probably would have assumed it was alcohol-related and wouldn't have bothered going. (trying very hard to see the positive side of feeling awful!)

Well done daisy !

alias are they checking your liver function too? I have another check on mine at the beginning of August. Tell you what, an abnormal result has been the biggest wake up call I could have been given!!!

Morning Babes

Just back from swimming, and have finally worked out what you were meaning by slipping off the first page (I read page 1 of this thread first to see what had happened (durr!)) .

Venus I think your walk in the fields may well be more strenuous than my time in the gym, to clarify, on Monday I sat on the excercise bike for 15 minutes, letting my mind drift, and got my heartrate to all of about 110 .
However, swimming, I really love, especially in an outside pool, and I think that is what I'm going to stick to.

I read the Allen Carr book, and to be honest it didn't provide an ephipany for me, but maybe I'm just bloody minded and don't like people talking sense to me!, and we all know where that got me . On the other hand (yes, thurso, lets do the other five hands options, as ever!!!) perhaps I wasn't in the right state of mind to read it at the time, and that's why.

For me, this thread has been the most all encompassing and best help, I am so thankful that I found it when I needed to.

Daisy, Joey well done on day 6, and 4 and a bit weeks, each day, and sometimes each hour, is a success story when youn have had enough of habitual drinking.

Soma I used to have dreams where I was drunk, a while ago, and woke up and took a few minutes to realise that that's all it was a dream. I don't get them any more. Maybe it was a place in time, and my head trying to tell me something?

Ma What sex life? How about you?

MrsMousietheMouseface Big hugs to you and your family, you are being so strong and brave all the time, but don't be too strong and brave, you need looking after too (can see Mouse with fingers in ears, la la la, but listen to me sister!) Lots of love xxx

Happy mornings everyone
xxxxx

daisy yes they are checking LFT, diabetes, thyroid, Vitamin D (?! because we haven't had any sunshine for months? ) amd Vitamin B12.

I hope its a B12 deficiency because I can be 95% sure its caused by my bowel condition; however it would also be a good incentive to control alcohol; also its easy to treat with injections & apparently the jabs work within 24 hours & you feel wonderful!

However they did B12 six months ago and it came back 'normal' (I'm no expert but it looked borderline to me) so who knows...

Damn, I promised I'd stay away from the thread while I'm in this hypochondriac mood... sorry.

Ugh - stressed. Took new dog for walk today (I work as dog walker) and it attacked one of my other dogs. No serious harm done, but it's rattled me. I've sent text to owners to say I think dog will need to be muzzled... Either that, or I won't be able to walk it.

Thurso I have had that drunk dream too!

greyhound oh how horrid! definitely refuse to take it unless its under control. How scary for the other dogs and you!!

Hi Joey. Sorry you've been feeling rotten :( It sounds like a few people on this thread are enduring physical pain :(

Yes, the dog really freaked me out. I walk a total of ten regular dogs (not all at the same time!) and whilst they sometimes try to dominate (i.e. hump!) one another, none of them have ever attacked either another dog or person.

Oh, and the rain has been constant and heavy all f*ing day...

As far as drinking is concerned, I would love a sharp gin and tonic right about now but, thank goodness, I have none in the house.