The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the Summer Filled With Luscious Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I used to drink far too much. Too much vodka to be exact, then too much wine, then too much cider....... you can imagine how it went.

This Bus is full of people like me, and people like you actually. Sober people, drinkers, a few not surers, and those who are simply 'somewhere'.

The one thing that we have in common is that we can/do/did/will abuse alcohol.

Some for a number of years, some months, some for their entire adult (and before) lives.

The support here is for everyone. Those in AA, those who are taking medication to help, those going it alone, those with the support of others. We're all here for the same reason.

Why not come and say hello? We are all so very different in our every day lives but we all have a common theme.....

And, for those who want to see where all of this began 2 years ago, HERE IS a link to all of the past Bus rides.

Morning, Day 4 here and determined to make it to Day 5:)

Soma, "I need to carry on as I was before and not this derail me" ... wise words!

I just wanted to thank you all again for your support last night. Perhaps the way I deal with relationships is a bit like an addiction as well and maybe I can try and tackle it in the same way I am with alcohol.

With men, it's always been all or nothing and he's either all good or all bad. A lightbulb came on in my head last night after reading your posts and I realised that just letting things develop at their own pace is the only way to go. It should seem natural with no mind-games on either side. Make a friend first, no too-soon sex or drunken dates and see what happens....He's being very nice actually, called me yesterday because I was having a problem with the dog and a nice text this morning. I must think FRIEND (and try not to focus on how much I fancy him) and the rest will take care of itself.

In a way, this has strengthened my resolve to not drink. I've always drunk to dull the pain of relationships and without it, if there's any pain I can deal with it in a healthy way. Even if it means coming on here and having a good old bleat!

Daisy, I was exactly like you, worried that I'd done permanent damage and that DD would have a sick mum on her hands. But I hope you can appreciate now that the liver is a very forgiving organ and you're a very courageous and fabulous woman to have made this decision.

Thank you Obrigada, morning Venus. I'm at work, must go....

morning everyone, glad to hear you're feeling so positive today soma! Whats the problem with the dog? What did Alfie think of MrSexToy (his opinion is very important!) and well done for thinking that alcohol is not the solution to your worries!

Nearly 4 weeks on the bus for me. And I feel terrible. I feel exhausted all the time and can't sleep properly. Have always suffered from insomnia, but the last couple of weeks it has been worse. (the only good thing, is it means I'm too tired to worry about drink! )

I can only think its because I fiddled with my AD dose. Thank goodness I don't feel like drinking, although I do long for something to knock me out... have to keep reminding myself that alcohol would not work, but god I am SO tired

Soma I know what you mean about the mind games. My dh was the first man I ever got involved with where there were no mind games.

Sorry you're feeling so low Joey, have you decreased your ADs? They're such tricky things to get right, have you bothered going to the GP? Great you're not drinking though, 4 weeks is brilliant. Alfie has been marking in the house whilst I'm out (never whilst I'm in) but haven't discovered anything today so far so fingers crossed!

Greyhound and Daisy, you both make a very important point; you felt relaxed and comfortable from the moment you met your DPs and didn't have to jump through any hoops. I read once that in the early stages of a relationship you should "let your insecurity be your guide". Obviously in my case my fear of rejection is far greater than a lot of peoples I know but it's a good point. I should feel comfortable enough to act naturally with someone eg phone him if I want to, without worrying it might put him off. If he likes me well enough it won't.

Anyway, I'm going out with a friend tonight (feel so tired I could cry) and will be drinking diet coke or lemonade. In this muggy weather I'd normally be reaching for the sauvignon!

Have a great evening everyone xx

soma thanks for you concern, I actually increased the ADs but think this may be causing insomnia, fatigue or something. Being a hypochondriac, I'm paranoid it might be something serious...

Re. Alfie he should not mark the area where he sleeps. Try confining him to that area when you are not around to keep an eye on him.

I would guess he is feeling very insecure, poor love. The rescue place you got him from may be able to give advice - they will have come across problems with dogs like this before.

Evening all

Anyone wanna hear a top tip for better sleeping patterns?

Yes, please I hear you cry

Well, it's not scientific or anything but I find that I sleep best when I get into a routine and go to bed at the same time every single day. So I try to eat a good nourishing meal at about 6pm, no caffeine after about 7pm, no drinks at all after about 10pm and off to bed at 10.30 (for example).

In bed I will read for no longer than 30 minutes, then just lie down to rest in the dark. I don't fret about not sleeping, I am just resting my body, giving it some down time, some healing time, some resting time. To switch off my mind I will divert it towards pleasant thoughts (nothing too exciting though Soma ) and I never, ever get up out of bed or put the light back on. Even if I lie there all night (which hasn't actually ever happened).

After a while, my body gets into the pattern and the routine becomes a trigger for sleep. A bit like when you have a young baby, actually, and you try to establish night-time sleeping by keeping it dark and quiet during those night feeds.

Hope everyone is doing ok this evening?

I think my routine is pretty good usually - I don't have coffee after 11.30am, and have been drinking hot chocolate or herbal tea instead of alcohol. We don't have tv or computer in the bedroom. The last few nights I have been waking up in the middle of the night (which is quite unusual for me) but the worst thing is I feel exhausted during the day. Even missed my pilates class yesterday because I went back to bed after the school run. I mean - pilates?! It's not exactly strenuos strenous strenuous tiring

Sorry to go on me-me-me. I will try to follow your advice about just resting. I would love a drink now, my defences are weak...

Stick with it Joey you don't really want a drink. What about relaxing in a lavender scented bath?

I love pilates but haven't been for a while. I find the weather quite depressing at the moment, pouring with rain one minute or just muggy and dull.

I've managed to stick to diet so far this week so will maybe factor in some exercise too next week.

checking in.
well doneobrigada - I failed after Day 1. surprise surprise

hello ma how are you doing?

I think I would fail too if there was any in the house...

Off to bed now babes, night xxx

Morning all. Ma hugs to you. Try and have another good day 1!

Joey how did you sleep last night? Another insomniac here, I take ages to drop off and wake up several times during the night and just can't get back to sleep. The reason? My mind refuses to switch off and thoughts just keep pinging in and out of my head. I wish I could be as disciplined as you Faire and glad you get such a good night's sleep. I've increased my ADs too Joey, the anxiety's been building up - what med are you on if you don't mind me asking? I'm worried the higher dose will make me put on weight and I've lost loads recently and have reached my target.

How are things with you Mouse, Mia and the other busy babes? Went out last night with dear friend and neither of us drank (she's on medication) and we had a lovely evening. So that's another enjoyable social occasion without booze, I hope you're proud of me Venus :)

Re: my blossoming "friendship" with Sex Toy Man, he's texted me again this morning but not really said anything (along the lines of "have a nice day" but with a bit more wit). I know he's been online last night chatting to other women (yes I've been snooping, one of the drawbacks of online dating). I'm sure he's got lots of irons in the fire, he's very attractive and as I'm 5 years his senior will have plenty of younger women interested in him. I mentioned he asked me for a second date this week but I couldn't make it, and as he goes away tomorrow I suggested we make a date for when he gets back. He hasn't responded to me on that even though he said he'd "consult his diary" 3 days ago. So I'm afraid the mind games have begun and I've decided not to respond to his text unless he actually SAYS something as in "shall we arrange to meet up when I get back". I really dislike all this meaningless texting or am I over-reacting? Would appreciate some wise words.

Have a good day everyone, hope those living in the areas which are going get all the rain don't get flooded in! xx

Ma, I don't drink at home, was never really a conscious decision but was just something I never did so it's easier for me to abstain most evenings.

joey my dp suffers from insomnia too. He finds that getting up at the same time every day (including weekends) helps to keep his sleep patterns more stable, and he tries not to nap during the day (even if he's feeling tired). Although in practice that often means that he does drop off in front of the TV, and I wake him up. So guess who's the demon in our house? . He has not much difficult falling asleep at night time but wakes up after a few hours. Rather than laying awake and tossing and turning and getting frustrated he often goes and reads a book.

soma sounds like a good idea to make sure that you're dealing with your anxiety. Also sounds like you're making good decisions re sex-toy man (and not responding to him). I think that lots of texting can create a false impression about being in a close relationship where there is frequent banter back and forwards. Somehow without the boundaries of a physical relationship there are not the natural pauses and breaks in communication and I think that the pace of relationship can move much faster (even if you're not sure that's what you want to do). And it can be a bit all-consuming. So maybe keep those boundaries in place, and spend your time with your family and your dog, and do all kinds of other things that really do make YOU happy (like your lovely evening out with your friend )

dammit I just wrote a long post and its disappeared... it said

MrSexToyMan - keep calm and carry on - dogs - insomnia - rain - more rain

Or something like that!

Hello all, what miserable bloody weather this is!

Soma so sorry didn't get back to you about MrSTM and the anxiety of dating/liking someone. Busy and challenging few days and guess what I turned to for solace?

I just asked DP whether he carried on dating/communicating with people on the site after we first met. He didn't meet anyone else but did continue conversations with people he'd been corresponding with. That's the same as me really - I didn't make contact with anyone new, but I wouldn't have ignored a message or cut off contact with other people, iyswim.

I don't know why I didn't obsess in my usual way about DP, it just felt different. So often in the past I would have been wondering if/when he was going to text or email, catching myself thinking about whether he would ring or not, see me again or not, whether we'd get on well or it wouldn't be as good next time, whether I should sleep with him / shouldn't have slept with him, whether I really liked him, whether he liked me, whether he might like someone else, would this be a fling or something more... etc etc ad infinitum. In my head I'd have gone through every possible permutation from a pleasant first meeting to a messy divorce in the space of an angst-ridden week! It's fucking exhausting! Plus, whatever hope was there for any kind of nascent relationship when I was projecting so much crap - I'd end up scaring myself off with my own uncontrollable imagination!

I don't know what advice to give really as I never worked out how to control my neurotic mind! I just want to reassure you that you're not the only one, and that it can be different. With DP it felt very steady and straightforward. He was away for three weeks after we first met up which I think was good because I wasn't expecting him to be in contact during that time. He always seemed very genuine and honest and I felt that I knew where I stood with him. If you aren't feeling that with MrSTM, take notice of your intuition. You've had some great advice as usual from Babes much wiser than I am!

Regarding Alfie and the peeing... firstly on a practical level, this stuff is absolutely brilliant for removing the smell of pee.
Secondly, there is a brilliant forum that I sometimes use called cockers online. Very helpful and knowledgeable people on there who are generous with their advice and use positive methods of training and behaviour modification. They have a section of the forum here for other dog breeds, so you might find it helpful to post there and ask for some advice. You'll probably have to join the forum to do so.
Have you tried crating him while you're out? As Joey said they won't soil their sleeping area, usually (noone told Bella that, that first fateful night, but then I guess she immediately realised that her sleeping area was certainly not the nasty crate that she shit all over, but a nice clean warm bed with us).

Joey my lovely you need to go to your GP and have a checkup. You shouldn't be feeling like this still. [bossy emoticon] Sending you a hug and a boot up the bum in the direction of the docs. You've done so amazingly well and you deserve to be reaping the benefits by now!

Well I only managed 1 dry day this week - Tuesday. Had a really shitty and stressful day on Wednesday and drank in the evening to relax (about half a bottle of white) - even though I'd been telling myself it wouldn't help and I didn't need to. Same again last night, a glass of white and then shared a bottle of red with DP. It wasn't that much but it still affected my sleep so I've two crap night's sleep in a row. All my sparkly eyed energy has disappeared and I'm facing a weekend of drinking now - DP's birthday and going to MIL's.

The good news is that after much effort on my part and enormous angst on DD's part, I've set up a blog for her to serialise her book on. Big achievement for her so I'm very proud of her at the mo (despite the fact that she's being really hard work!). She's still writing the story every spare minute - 32,000 words now!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, sorry not to namecheck everyone. xx

My liver function test was abnormal

Maybe what I needed to hear.

Hi all,
I was on here a while back and was unfortunately involved in some argie bargie, ending with me hiding the thread as I was upset. Since then I have unhidden the thread (obviously!) and continued to lurk as I have still found the advice and chatter of all of you immensely helpful.

Daisy, I have de-lurked just to give you a virtual hug really, and to let you know you're not alone. I had a lft about 5 weeks ago and it also came back abnormal. I don't know your specific results, but I'm sure you will be fine. Like you say, it's a wake-up call and a kick up the bum to be proactive about it. Please don't be too worried [hugs] I spent the first few days very upset, anxious and 'why me' (der!) and then decided to put it to good use. I told my family and friends that my result was abnormal so I would be sure that no one would try and persuade me to have a drink.

I hope you are okay x I haven't had a drink for over 2 months and you really will be fine.

sorry, meant to say that my 'abnormal' meant that I wasn't yet in unrepairable territory, but I was certainly going that way if I didn't hang up the drinking gloves. I'm not sure whether you had a chance to sit down with your GP and find out what exactly the 'abnormal' meant

(I hope they did go through it with you. I was left for 4 days before getting the result and getting in to see the doc to have it explained, and those 4 days were not fun!)

hugs again x

Thanks Curious X

I was phoned earlier today with the results. The GP just said slightly elevated on the liver test. So I have to go back Aug 3rd for another blood test.

I'm feeling really disappointed with myself. Was hungover today too Not drinking today. Will definitely use this as my starting point for a fresh start!

Daisy, that's okay! From what I've understood slightly elevated is okay, in that you can repair any damage that's been done. So all good . The relief I felt when I found out it was still in my hands to make good the damage was huge. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but knowing that sorting the situation out was still in my hands felt like a blessing to be honest!

Fresh start today then It's been a sort of impetus for me to quit properly, hope it can be for you too, if that's what you want obviously! xx

curious glad that you're still around (no recollection of what went on before ), and really good to hear that things seem to be going well for you.

daisy I was too scared ever to go for LFT, so you are doing better than I did (and sometimes a little corner of my scared mind wonders whether I left it too late and there's some secret damage been done - guess I should confront that sometime). As curious says, use this time to take control - STOP drinking - and let your liver recover. Amaze yourself with how well you can do, and how your liver will respond.

curious wow 2 months, well done, that's fab! How are you feeling now, great I bet?

Daisy you have all the power in your hands to change that result. Just take it one day at a time - the hours, days soon add up and it will get much easier for you to not drink x

Venus~the doctor ticked the boxes for a blood test because I complained about feeling tired all the time. She didn't tick for a LFT. I did!!!