The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Starting the Summer Filled With Luscious Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I used to drink far too much. Too much vodka to be exact, then too much wine, then too much cider....... you can imagine how it went.

This Bus is full of people like me, and people like you actually. Sober people, drinkers, a few not surers, and those who are simply 'somewhere'.

The one thing that we have in common is that we can/do/did/will abuse alcohol.

Some for a number of years, some months, some for their entire adult (and before) lives.

The support here is for everyone. Those in AA, those who are taking medication to help, those going it alone, those with the support of others. We're all here for the same reason.

Why not come and say hello? We are all so very different in our every day lives but we all have a common theme.....

And, for those who want to see where all of this began 2 years ago, HERE IS a link to all of the past Bus rides.

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Thank you for all of the kind words. Last night was a little better although DH was there until almost 6am so could help before Nemo woke, then he came to get me around 9am so I've had a good if painful sleep.

Today - DH has said that it might be worth exploring putting some sort of hoist in the bedroom that I can reach to pull myself up with in the night....... I'm going to mention it to my GP this week.

Faire - good point about the weight/diet issue..... there's no pattern with the puking, it can happen at any time whether I'm eating or not..... tis weird. Will also speak to the doc about it but I've now lost the weight I wanted so I'm not being as strict about the carbs as I was, but still being sick.

Sorry to just post and run (where are you Saf??) but I've a home-made lemon meringue pie in the oven for after our roast beef and it needs to come out, and DH needs help bathing the noisy little chap he has in there, they sound like they're having a blast.

Bye for now, at the zoo with pre-school tomorrow so will report in later on. Stay safe Babes xxx

Hi everyone haven't had a chance to read back but hope you're all doing ok have had several slip ups and had to take last week off work with a breakdown of sorts. Have not drank this weekend which is a plus but I feel so low

Hello babes, hope all you had a good day, either with the father of your kids or your own father. If neither, then it's just another day isn't it.

I'm in need of a bit of comforting/support I think, have been feeling really depressed today which is unusual for me (anxiety's my thing usually). I'm reaching for the diazepam too much and wonder if it might be a contributory factor - I know it can cause depression. It gives me a temporary feeling of contentment and then I feel flat and if I take too much (15mg today) I'm like a zombie. My GP has it on repeat - I'm amazed.

I don't know whether to chuck my remaining pills down the sink right now (I've been on them a month) and risk some sort of withdrawal or wait till I see the GP on Wednesday and tell her I want to come off and she what she says - which will probably be tapering more slowly. I'm terrified that once I stop taking them my craving for booze will return and I'll be back to square one. At the moment I don't want to drink at all.

My brother (who knows a lot about these things) was horrified that my surgery has prescribed me co-codamol, diazepam, sertraline and antabuse all at the same time. I'm grateful for their help but sometimes I wonder how much care they take when dishing out the meds and if they even look at your records.

Sorry this has been all about me and I hope you're all doing well, but I really feel out on a limb today. xx

ps Hugs to you Skippy well done for not drinking and a good idea to take time off work. What plans have your for next week, what support do you have apart from on here? It's horrid feeling low, try to get an early night and a good sleep and at least you won't be hungover in the morning x

Hi Soma so sorry I didn't get to see your message earlier, but hope you're feeling ok.

I wouldn't chuck anything away right now, not good to go cold turkey really, but maybe phone the surgery first thing tomorrow and try and get an urgent appointment on Monday. Someone needs to have a fresh look at all your meds and start weaning you off if that's appropriate.

Arghhh!! soma I just wrote you a great post and it's gone. Grr.

Just know that I am thinking of you x

Soma I PMed you earlier lovey xx

I have lurked for ages but i really need to join the bus :( vodka is my poison, I can drink half a 70cl bottle in a night quite easily. My DH has no idea, i hide it :(

I don't want to stop drinking, but i do want to be able to have a drink and then say thats enough... i can either not drink at all, or i drink shitloads... how do people only have 2 or 3 small drinks?? i just can't do it.. so far it hasnt really had an impact on family life, but my dd's are 4 & 5 & I'm terrified they will notice what I'm doing and it will screw them up.

help! i would love any helpful advice you wise wonderful ladies have

Hello rainbow and welcome.

I am able to have 2 or 3 small drinks and stop.

But it has taken me a long time to get there. The first step was to learn how to stop. So, to start, I needed to stop if that makes sense.

Stick with us, we'll help you x

Thanks Faire, Venus and Mia. I will get myself straight and sort out the meds.

Sleep well lovely ladies xx

A dry day. :)

Hi to all newbies and sleep well everyone.

Morning everyone, I'm sorry I couldn't pop in at weekend.

I did hear back from community team on Friday afternoon but they are going to refer me on to the Harm reduction team who will hopefully be contacting me today.

Not a dry weekend but only had two cans of lager on Saturday, a bit more yesterday with the low alcohol wine I bought Friday. Feel a bit crap that I still cannot manage to keep to alcohol free.

Drinking is beginning to be first and foremost in my mind all day every day now and I am feeling a mixture of sad, ashamed, sometimes positive but overall the depression remains.

I have been taking my newly prescribed meds since Friday now, no idea how long it takes for them to kick in but they really aren't lifting my mood at all I have also lost my libido, H has been quite touchy feely with me this weekend but I just don't want to know.

Trying not to end this on negatives, I have been sleeping like a log and actually managed two lovely late lie ins this weekend, not getting up until 8.30 ish. I was usually awake at 5am and up by 6am while drinking wine.

Morning everyone, just caught up with thread. Decision made to get on the bus and stay on it. Had way too much vodka on Friday night and had argument with friend over something really trivial. Have so much going on in my life at the minute that I can't afford to spend any days hungover.

What a morning, came into work to be told my the girl who works with me that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer, had a feeling something was up a couple of weeks ago but her news came as a blow this morning.

Just ducking in quickly (at work, sorry) to share something which is that my new-found sobriety has caused a definite improvement in my overall mood.

Have you found this as well, Brave Babes? I do feel so much more positive nowadays and generally much happier.

That's so sad about your colleague Obrigada, I assume she's quite young? Welcome back to the bus, I've been on it for over a month now and intend to stay here, come sit next to me. Limit remind me what med your GP put you on - if it's an SSRI it can take between 2-4 weeks to start kicking in so be patient. And just to warn you, sometimes it can make you feel worse before you start to feel better. That hasn't been my experience so hopefully it won't be yours!

I'm feeling a bit more optimistic this morning - work always lifts my spirits. But I do have a thing going on with ex-H who is such a tightwad (never had a proper job in his life) and he hardly buys DD anything - she has to ask him for money for everything, even books. I'm as generous as I can afford to be with her (on very low income but lucky to own my house outright) but I give her £20 a month pocket money and buy all her clothes on top of that and other things which I think are essential such as books. But I burst into tears with her this morning because she asked me for some extra money so she could buy a milk-shake at school - it's not that I don't want to give it to her, it's just that I have to watch every penny and every time her dad opens his wallet, moths fly out of it....

ps Venus I'm so disappointed I didn't get to read your lovely long post! It's happened to me loads of times too, composing then sending and it either gets lost or I'm told I'm not logged on, which I am! Now I always copy what I've written just in case, and can paste it back in. Glad to hear you sounding so chipper Hopefully, still on the antabuse? And are you just doing the 100mg at night? That seems to be working for me x

Hello Soba! Yes, still on the antabuse, taken at night. I haven't had an alcoholic drink since Friday 27th April :) You're sounding much more positive too, you know. Where is Albert?

Obrigada :(

Good to hear about your lie-ins, Limit. The only upside of alcoholism that I can think of was seeing the early mornings, but they weren't much fun with a hangover.

Must be a day for it ... lad who works with me, his mother-in-law died yesterday only 6-8 weeks since being diagnosed with lung cancer. Then on way back to work my best friend rings to say her father (who is receiving treatment for bowel cancer) has been rushed into hospital seriously ill.
Drinking won't change any of these events though so I am determined that today I will not drink.

morning all, how is everyone? who is driving the bus today?

I've just come on to have a moan really. Had a migraine on Saturday, very nauseaus all day yesterday, ended up getting medication from Boots (which I've never had before, I don't normally get severe migraines) because of feeling sick all the time. Last night I went to bed about 7.30 and slept right through till 8am. Still nauseaus today, but getting better.

So I asked my boss if I could have Thursday off because I was still recovering and she made such a fuss about the short notice. (we do not work on front'line services or anything that means my work cannot be postponed)

I'm really pissed off because last week my colleage went home early/called in sick and now I made the effort to get here but still get told off. I don't make a huge fuss but no-one even noticed that I was 20 minutes late back from lunch! [feel like no-one notices or cares ] So eventually i explained about the migraine and was told 'okay you can have the day off this time' If I had called in sick instead of giving them 3 days notice, it goes on my record - more than 3 days off sick and you get a warning.

Sorry about the whining, am just feeling sorry for myself.

What line of work are you in Joey? That sort of treatment would piss me off too. Hopefully that's almost two months - how much do you miss it? Albert is now Alfie and is to become an official member of the family this Saturday :)

So coming home - alcohol isn't an option, I'm really determined to stay on the bus for at least the next month! - but I really felt the pull. I wanted the numb feeling that comes from getting blotto.

Instead I have to face up to these feelings. It's really hard, I don't have any close friends, and anyway I feel like these are such boring problems. Poor DH gets some of it, but most feelings just get drowned usually.

I'm half in the mood to call in sick tomorrow, but that will probably make things worse. Maybe I should talk to my manager ? I probably should have told her straightaway why I wanted Thursday off, but I don't like going on about my problems. I was really upset that she assumed I would give such short notice if it wasn't a good reason.

Again, sorry for the moaning.

soma I have been prescribed fluoxetine 20mg daily.

joey sorry you are having an awful time with your work, it does make things seem worse doesn't it

Yes, that's an SSRI so could take up to 4 weeks for you to feel better. With any luck could be quicker, but everyone can react differently to the same drug. I'm on sertraline which started to work for me after a week or so. Did your GP not explain how they work?

Joey I'm confused, did I miss something? Are you asking for a day off on Thursday because you're sick today