Being drink does not mean you deserve it.

[OhNoMyFanjo]

I have been reading some comments on tge DM site re an interview with a women who was raped. Her rapist has just been convicted. She has had many terrible things said about her in her community due to the rapist being a pillar of tge community.

I wanted to share this comment that someone has made as it sums up what should be obvious to everyone but unfortunately there are some people who don't get it.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

Good point geekette I lock my doors only because it invalidates my insurance if I don't. Nothing to do with being safe, if someone wants to break into my house they will find a way.

But why does the sober person have a better chance? Thats the bit I don't understand?

Try thinking of it this way, how is attacking a drunk actually less risky to a rapist? Bearing in mind drink can stop people being so aware of pain, and therefore actually more able to fight viciously. Where a sober person may do less damage due to pain holding them back, a drunk person will be more able to ignore that pain.

Eg. a friend fractured her ankle while drunk. Sober she wouldn't have been able to put weight on it, drunk she walked home.

A sober person may also be more likely to try and think strategically, maybe thinking "if I lie still and take it, maybe they'll only rape rather than kill me", while a drunk may respond more instinctively and fight.

With this in mind, some rapists may see drunks as more rather than less of a challenge.

Sigh... I did point out that if they wanted to get in they still could.

Blackout, take rape out of the equation. Who is more capable of fighting? A sober person or an unconscious person?

I'm rapidly losing interest in your theoretical examples. Actual women are actually being raped in situations which are not at all how you imagine them to be. The only thing they all have in common is the presence of a rapist.

I accept it's not your intention but your posts are coming across as victim blaming.

Ok, so who is more capable of fighting, a person frozen with fear or an unconscious person?

Thats true empusa but if a rapist's particular fantasy is a drunk person walking home alone then I will not be that person if I am sober and/or in a group. It's not about taking all risks out because obviously we are all potentially at risk all of the time (if you want to include the idea of someone breaking into your house) but I will attempt to take some of them out.

Are men being held up to the same standard of behaviour?

If a man has 4 pints and gets set upon by a gang and the shit kicked out of him is that somehow his fault? If he'd not had those 4 pints then he wouldn't have been attacked and men should keep a clear head all the time in case they get robbed or attacked?

I don't think so.

Or even who is more capable of fighting, a drunk person who feels no pain or a frozen in fear sober person?

Neither blackout but the sober person may or may not be frozen in fear whereas the unconscious person will always be unconscious.

nulgirl again, sorry about what happened to you.

I am always uncomfortable speaking to people about personal things when I am not with them face to face.

After speaking with a few men, unless you have spoken with your attacker and he confirms that it was a crime of opportunity I very, very much doubt it... We have your side of the story and you had just met him but we have no idea when he first laid eyes on you and what went through his mind. The rapist's mind does seem to work bizarrely and if you hadn't gone out to a desert island with him, he may have looked for other opportunities specifically with you or someone who looks like you...

And yeah bumbley. I don't do sports to make me stronger against villains. I do it as part of making myself a better person. You want to martial art against your rapist, alright then. Hollywood would happily send you the opportune moment.

Signing off. Have a good night ladies.

"Thats true empusa but if a rapist's particular fantasy is a drunk person walking home alone then I will not be that person if I am sober and/or in a group."

That only protects you from rapists who prefer drunk women. It's a bit of a niche protection really.

Do I need to put this in bold with italics? I am not blaming the victims. If it sounds like that to you then you're wrong.

Kiss, I think a few people said earlier that being drunk does make you more vulnerable to that. Maybe because the gang would be more likely to pick the drunk guy? Who knows.

By perpetrating rape myths you ARE putting some lelment of blame at the door of the victim.

Don't like it? Don't do it.

Ok, Bumbley by your logic lets just say that a rapist is out intenting to rape, yet he doesn't find a drunk woman. Do you really think he'll go back home thinking 'oh well, nevermind' or do you think he'll rape someone else?

IMO I think he'll rape whoever he comes across no matter what their blood alcohol is.

Well I'm glad you accept that it's some protection empusa and some is better than none IMO.

Obtuse.

He might blackout, if he gets the opportunity that he's looking for.

Can I just try to clarify this please? Are people saying that you are just as safe on your own as in a group and just as safe when you are sober as when you are drunk? Is that the argument here?

"Can I just try to clarify this please? Are people saying that you are just as safe on your own as in a group and just as safe when you are sober as when you are drunk? Is that the argument here?"

Yes.

No, posters are saying that you are only safe when there isn't a rapist around

It's like saying you shouldn't own valuable things because you'd just be asking someone to burgle you, so that when they do it's your fault.