Being drink does not mean you deserve it.

[OhNoMyFanjo]

I have been reading some comments on tge DM site re an interview with a women who was raped. Her rapist has just been convicted. She has had many terrible things said about her in her community due to the rapist being a pillar of tge community.

I wanted to share this comment that someone has made as it sums up what should be obvious to everyone but unfortunately there are some people who don't get it.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

Again with victim blaming Larry?

And how the fuck do you "recognise and mitigate risk" from a fucking rapist?

THAT ^^^ is one of the stupidist statement around. Jesus.

No-one is saying drink/drugs are not involved in rape. No-one is saying they do not make you vulnerable generally. Please read the thread properly.

Jesus wept. And on it goes. MNHQ are you actually going to DO something yet??

Rapists control your vulnerability, it is a part of the crime. If you happen to be drunk or sober when targeted they will still need to implement a power play. Even if you are unconscious they will still need to hold you down.

No, someone who is raped is never to blame, only the rapist is to blame. However, that is going to be of no comfort to them at all.

Oh but the idea the alchohol that they chose to drink could be considered by some twats to be a contributing factor, that's going to being a massive fucking comfort isn't it?

Running,

If you call asking people to be sensible "victim blaming" then, yes. However, I will discourage my sons from drinking to excess, will tell them to avoid dressing ostentatiously and tell them to be very careful in certain parts of town (if they cannot avoid them altogether).

Does that mean that they are guilty if they are robbed, mugged, beaten up. Fuck no, of course not.

Why can't you get that distinction?

Gobblers,

You recognise that the nice dude inviting you back to his place after one drink and a snog recognises a risk. You recognise that it is more sensible to use a black cab than an unlicensed one. Drink affects those judgments.

Larry, do stop putting the onus on the victim, there's a love.

Tell that to John Worboys' victims

rape myths

Perpetuating them reduces empathy for and passes blame onto the victim and can lead to justification of sexual violence.

I suggest you educate yourself.

Women are not responsible for modifing their behaviour to prevent them from bing raped.

Furthermore, women are not capable of modifing their behaviour to prevent them from being raped.

Why is this so fucking hard to understand?

It is just incorrect. It demonstrates a huge misunderstanding about what rape is larry.

Some rapists/abusers deliberately target strong and forthright women because they get their kicks bringing down the powerful. Maybe we should advise women to be just the right amount of meek while we're at it.

Whatever you do don't rock the boat FGS, you might be targeted by the rapist on the corner.

Isn't it funny that Larry says 'someone who is raped is never to blame, only the rapist is to blame, HOWEVER...'

There always has to be a HOWEVER doesn't there?

Larry - but being knocked over would be an accident. Getting raped is another person actively committing a crime.

Next time Larry - say 'someone who is raped is never to blame, only the rapist is to blame' and then just STOP TYPING.

There are no BUTS.

Rapists are people, they all have different switches and this is the main reason why "I'm going to be safe from that rapist" is such a stupid argument. Being sober and in control might be just what another rapist is looking for.

That's also been said before on this thread. Perhaps it would be wise to look through the thread and really think about why people who know a lot about rape are saying it isn't a sensible outlook, although people have said it is logical, it is false logic.

Larry, you are victim blaming.

Bumbley, one of the posters agreeing with you was a rape victim beating herself up for going out and having a drink. She was raped drunk and blames herself and all you can say is if you weren't drunk you wouldn't have been raped. She has now had it confirmed from you that she was at fault. You have blamed her, she believes she did something wrong.

She did not. The rapist did.

And Bumbly, you continue to make personal attacks on posters, even after being deleted.

I wonder why those posters who are insisting that women are in some part responsible for their rape feel the need to do so.

Is it because they can then never be raped because they would never put themselves at risk? They can feel safe if they keep insisting women who get drunk are contributing to their rape despite reams of evidence to the contrary (like most rapes happen to non drunk women)

Or is it because they dont want to believe that a man would do such a thing unless they were somehow tempted, lured, pushed into doing it by the sight of a drunken women, that there is NO WAY they would rape otherwise?

I cant work it out.

Think a lot of them don't understand rape tbh. They don't get the power part, think it is about sex.

"is almost a gold plated guarantee that they would have been less vulnerable without any drugs"

"it can take years for them, if ever, to not constantly come to the conclusion that if they had not been drunk, it would not have happened."

But there is no guarantee that if they'd been sober they wouldn't have been raped.

It's as illogical as saying, "if I hadn't worn red, I wouldn't have been raped"

It misses the point that post, rapists give you drugs, buy you drinks, top up you glass, laugh with you, suggest you go for a walk, manipulate your vulnerability. Very often the woman will not have been in control of these factors, very often she won't recognise this at the time or after, very often the rapist will take active steps to make her feel responsible and make his behaviour seem reasonable. Very often. Rape isn't about sex it is about power and control, often feelings of entitlement or anger too.