Being drink does not mean you deserve it.

[OhNoMyFanjo]

I have been reading some comments on tge DM site re an interview with a women who was raped. Her rapist has just been convicted. She has had many terrible things said about her in her community due to the rapist being a pillar of tge community.

I wanted to share this comment that someone has made as it sums up what should be obvious to everyone but unfortunately there are some people who don't get it.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

Bumbley, what you have said is victim blaming. As I said before, you can't say a sentence in isolation - there are repercussions to what you say.

Saying that being drunk makes you vulnerable to rape is:

a) Untrue - it is simply not backed up by the statistics, nor does it stand up to any logical thought processes.

b) Victim blaming. Whether you think you're blaming the victim or not is irrelevant. Your statements are victim blaming.

The problem with talking about vulnerability is that the emphasis is on blaming the victim. Like I said earlier, women should be free to jog at night, just as black people should be able to walk the streets in BNP area. Both might be vulnerable to opportunistic criminal but we shouldn't waste time talking about the vulnerability when the problem lies with the criminal.

Then why are you still banging on about it then? I have completely lost track of whatever point you were trying to make. Meanwhile, your comments are potentially upsetting a lot of women.

If you have a point, it would be very useful if you could just re-state it in simple terms.

Blackout, I didn't say they were to do with rape. I was giving example of other ways in which being drunk makes you vulnerable in response to one of cailin's questions.

TaDada there are situations where rapists young men target drunk girls. I have seen this myself. Have intervened in one instance.

The only person whose behaviour should even be up for discussion in that instance is the RAPIST. That same girl could have been completely off her trolley and you wouldn't have had to intervene if she wasn't WITH A RAPIST.

Bumbley the myth is to try to explain, ever so simply, to people like YOU that a woman's state of inebriation has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE RAPE. The rape occurs because the man is a RAPIST. THAT IS IT.

but being drunk doesn't make you vulnerable to rape

Running, I haven't said it makes you more vulnerable to rape - that's too general and I have said that on several occasions.

If someone is vulnerable it doesn't justify anyone taking advantage. Admitting vulnerability is not admitting fault.

you still don't get it do you

So what is your fucking point then????

Walter:

"Bumbley the myth is to try to explain, ever so simply, to people like YOU that a woman's state of inebriation has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE RAPE. The rape occurs because the man is a RAPIST. THAT IS IT."

I am aware of the meaning. I am asking you - If alcohol and drugs do not make you vulnerable then why does it use the expression 'being vulnerable' in relation to them?

Bumbley you just wrote:

Running, I haven't said it makes you more vulnerable to rape - that's too general and I have said that on several occasions.

Now you're asking me:

If alcohol and drugs do not make you vulnerable then why does it use the expression 'being vulnerable' in relation to them?

At this point, I'm pretty sure you're just getting your kicks out of arguing with people. I said it before, I'll say it again, you're pathetic and cruel.

PlentyOfPubeGardens - if you are referring to my posts, the entire posts is about vulnerability; isn't it?

My point is simply that focussing on vulnerability misplaces the blame on the victim.

But I also add a footnote that my daughter and wife will not jog in certain areas late at night as they have weighed up risk of someone looking for a victim...as this does occasionally happen? This is not entirely rational as I know the stats suggest that someone is more likely to be raped by someone they know.

waltermittymissus- yes, I agree that the emphahsis should be on the criminal not the victim. Exactly what I have been saying. I think that the opening post was always going to cause conflict. I had better leave now. Bye all.

My post was to bumbley.

TDada No need to leave

Bumbley, your backtracking is truly something to behold.

If they had a Backtracking Awards Ceremony, you would be High Queen of Backtracking.

Thanks blackoutthesun-the atmosphere seems a bit hostile. We need to recognize the shades of opinion and be a bit more polite in disagreement if possible...though I recognise that the sensitivity of the subject.

Tdad, thats exactly the point of challenging rape myths, you find out how many women live in a semi conciousness of fear.

Your wife and dd should be able to go out jogging at night without fear.

It's a sad world women live in.

TDada probably best not to lecture of politeness 24 pages in.

*on politeness. Obviously.

Yes I agree YourH. It was one of the first points that I made.

Walter, if you can't see the difference between 'more vulnerable to rape' which implies 'in general' and more vulnerable in a specific situation then that is going to be part of the reason why you are misunderstanding me.

But it is a highy emotive subject and this is very civil in mn terms

There are poster on here who have re-lived their experinces on here which would be very painful for them. Having someone and i'm not saying its you even hinting blame towards the victim should be corrected shot down and rightly so.

Oh I understand you perfectly. Did you miss my post where I said I was being sarcastic?

But the only difference in being vulnerable having a vagina is if there is a rapist around