Being drink does not mean you deserve it.

[OhNoMyFanjo]

I have been reading some comments on tge DM site re an interview with a women who was raped. Her rapist has just been convicted. She has had many terrible things said about her in her community due to the rapist being a pillar of tge community.

I wanted to share this comment that someone has made as it sums up what should be obvious to everyone but unfortunately there are some people who don't get it.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

bumbley it's impossible to tell if you are being vile deliberately or are hard of thinking but while not getting drunk might help reduce the risk of getting run over on the way home or having a hangover it doesn't offer any protection against sexual violence. The only way women and girls can reduce that risk is by not having fathers or step-fathers, husbands or boyfriends, male friends and male friends of friends, male colleagues or bosses, male taxi or bus drivers, male doctors and nurses, male teachers and lecturers.

You do know that you are most likely to be attacked indoors by someone you know? You do know that the fear can be utterly disabling, women speak of being frozen or paralysed by terror, that not being drunk doesn't mean you are any more able to fight? I find your posts and entire tone grotesque. THINK about what you are saying and the people you are saying it to.

I would love to see one of these victim-blamers change their minds once in one of these long threads, after reading all the very convincing evidence as to why they are so wrong. But they never will.

It's sad.

I've had two glasses of wine. Good thing I don't know where my shoes are or I might stumble outside and get raped and it would be my fault.

For fuck's sake.

Who wants to teach their daughters to be afraid?
Instead, teach your sons to be respectful.
Realise rapists choose and pursue victims. That's it's about power, not sex and certainly not booze.
Stop blaming women.
You are not safe because you are good. You are only safe if you are not in the vicinity of a rapist.
At some point, realise it's okay to admit you were wrong.

Stop fucking victim blaming. It makes me sick. It makes you insensitive at best, cruel at worst.

Not backtracking at all I'm glad that one of the myths agrees with me even if you lot don't.

Are you fucking kidding me? For the first time on MN, even as a lurker, I've reported this.

Walter, I'm not really sure I see the logic in not telling something because they'll feel guilty if they didn't do it. I think I would feel guilty if I hadn't told my daughter and something like that had happened even though I know it's the rapist's fault and nothing to do with my daughter.

Actually it was the REALITY part that agreed with me blackout:

REALITY: Being vulnerable does not imply consent. If a woman is drunk, drugged or unconscious, she is not able to consent to sex(5).

So will you be telling your dd never, ever have any contact with any men ever?

Nomnou, I'm not sure how you are reading my posts but I can assure you that they are not written to cause offense.

But it hasn't said anything about being drunk and walking home alone has it?

Mysterious, no one has said what you are implying. I am not blaming the victims.

Bumbley, what you are saying is despicable. What if a woman who has been raped in the precise (and relatively rare) circumstances that you are referring to (walking home alone, drunk) read your posts and said 'oh fuck, if only I hadn't been drunk, maybe I could have avoided being raped?'

Do you want rape victims to feel like that? That they are somehow responsible?

Bumbley - your posts ARE blaming the victims. You obviously feel they aren't but THEY ARE.

Yes you are, you keep banging on about women keeping themselves safe as if they are choosing to put themselves in danger every time they sip a bit of wine.

Something men can do quite freely without fear.

Your daughters will be vulnerable to rape because they have VAGINAS and are in the presence of a rapist. THAT'S IT.

What exactly are you reporting Walter? I've said alcohol makes you vulnerable. Everyone on this thread has argued themselves blue disagreeing with me and yet the REALITY itself states that it makes you vulnerable. I have not said anywhere that this vulnerability justifies or excuses rape which is what many people have gone on to accuse me of despite me saying repeatedly that I am not.

Bumbley, you are blaming the victims and it's disgusting. Shame on you.

so you do know that not walking home drunk protects you more against getting run over, or falling over and hitting your head and dying of hypothermia than against sexual violence? You accept that one's own friends, family and acquaintances are those who pose the real risk and not your imaginary predatory stranger?

Why are you arguing this point though Bumbley? Lots of things make women vulnerable to rape - having a boyfriend, going on a date, getting in a taxi - why aren't you talking about those things?

Honestly, I don't think alcohol does make you more vulnerable to rape - a rapist will find a way. It's a red herring.

I AM NOT BLAMING THE VICTIMS. HTH

If all of the voices on a thread were raised in horror and disgust at the stuff I was writing I would certainly think about educating myself...

Not twisting the tenants of We believe you to suit my purpose and back up my argument.

i am not vulnerable to rapist when I am drunk. I am ALWAYS vulnerable to rapists. BECAUSE THEY ARE RAPISTS

Well, Bumbley, you can say you're not blaming the victims till you're blue in the face, but unfortunately your own posts belie you. HTH.

Running, because the OP was in relation to alcohol. People were arguing that being drunk doesn't make you vulnerable. I (and a few others earlier in the thread) disagreed. I know that I am pretty vulnerable when drunk, it wouldn't be my fault if someone took advantage but I know and accept that I am more vulnerable to things than when I am sober.

Yy waltermitty (BRILLIANT NAME BTW)

I have reported a few of these posts - I am appalled that, once again, these sort of rape myths are left to stand. GRIP THE FUCK UP MNHQ.